Finding The Appropriate School When Your Kid Has Autism #T5Tue

It's TURNING 5 Tuesday - did you miss the first post? Catch up HERE. 

My search for the "appropriate" school placement began in the fall of 2010 - the same time I started this blog. The Boy was going to start kindergarten in September 2011 and I wanted to weigh all the options. I wanted time. 

If you have  child with special needs who will enter kindergarten in the fall of 2014 - NOW is the time to start the process. 

That's right - a whole year. Because it's a long process. So where do you start? I would suggest starting with schools. In New York City - there's a lot of school. Well, not a lot, but enough to keep you busy.

Because you'll need to tour. Gather paperwork (and possibly evidence). Apply. Wait. Cross your fingers, light a candle, say a prayer. And if your kid gets in...be prepared to prove to the Department of Education that it's the most appropriate.

Let me back up...because I can hear all the questions you're yelling at the computer. 

What schools should I tour?  

ALL of them. Seriously. If not all, then as many as you can. Public, private and even the ones you can't afford. Do your research. Ask questions. Browse school websites.

Where do I find special needs schools?

Believe it or not, there are a few ways to find schools that provide special needs services. I started with A Parent's Guide to Special Education in New York City - it really helped. I read through the book, took notes and did further research. 

Then, I attended a special needs school fair at the JCC in Manhattan. This year, it's being held on Thursday, October 24, 2013. You can register for the event - HERE. At the fair, I was able to schedule an appointment to tour, speak to school representatives and get applications. And it was a good way to weed out the schools I knew wouldn't work for The Boy. 

But the best way to find out about schools is to talk to other parents who've been there, done that. If you've never been to a support group - now would be the time to go. For Bronx parents - check out the Bronx Parents Autism Network. There's a meeting on October 8th. Don't be shy about asking parents where their children go to school. 

What about the local public school?

Visit your zone school, even if you know it's not appropriate for your child - just go to say that you did. Visit the DOE website. Make an appointment to tour local District 75 schools. And check out other special education programs like the ASD Nest Program or ASD Horizon program. Visit the NYC Resources page for more information - HERE.

What paperwork do I need? What do I include in the application? 

Most school applications require a recent evaluation (more on that next week) as well as past evaluations. Some applications will ask current teachers to fill out some sections. Applications can be 3 - 15 pages long (yes, I'm serious) and most have a fee (save your money) and a deadline of when to apply. Many schools will like the application before the Christmas break. 

I can feel your head spinning so I'll stop here. Remember the Turning 5 process is a lengthy process and I want to help. There will be more information regarding schools and the application process. So check back every Tuesday. 

And don't forget - there's a FREE Turning 5 Talk on 9/25 and 10/16 - click HERE for more details.    

Is Your Special Needs Child Turning Five? #T5Tue

When I started this blog three years ago, I was going through the Turning 5 process. And - not to scare you - it was probably the most stressful two years of my life. The first year, searching for an appropriate placement and the kindergarten year realizing it was a mistake and trying to get The Boy out.

I wanted to write about our experience but Turning 5 isn't something that can be covered in a blog post or two. So I thought I'd start a new series on the blog - Turning 5 Tuesday [#T5Tue]. I'll share tips, resources, information seminars and our personal experience. If you have a specific question, leave it in the comments section and I'll try to answer it. 

If you have  child with special needs who will enter kindergarten in the fall of 2014 - NOW is the time to start the process.

And where should you start? Well if you're in New York City - you should start with talking to a Special Education advisor and Special Needs Advocate. You probably have a lot of questions.     

What kind of elementary program will be right for my child? What are our rights and options?

Educate yourself! Come hear a free presentation with Sarah Birnbaum (Parent Advocate and Special Education Advisor, New York Special Needs Support) on how to:

• Learn about educational options, public and private
• Obtain the best evaluations and guidance
• Find an appropriate kindergarten program
• Understand your legal rights
• Get through the Turning 5 process and create an IEP

Date: Wednesday, September 25 

6:00-8:00pm


Location: Bankstreet College of Education


610 West 112th Street, main floor auditorium


RSVP: nuberto@bankstreet.edu

Date: Wednesday, October 16 

6:00-8:00pm


Location: The SMILE Center


171 Madison Avenue, 5th floor


RSVP: info@smileny.org

Do You Remember Your 1st Day of Kindergarten?

April 21, is Kindergarten Day – the celebratory birthday of Friedrich Froebe – the man who started the first kindergarten in 1837.

Kindergarten is a major milestone for children and their parents. The first day of kindergarten is one most don’t forget.

I remember my first day of kindergarten. My mother put me on the school bus. It was the first time I was separated from my mother.

I don’t remember crying. I don’t remember my mother crying. Maybe she did after the bus pulled away, though I very much doubt it. It was a different time then.

Besides, when my mother put me on the bus, she knew I’d come home and tell her every detail of my day.

I loved kindergarten. I still remember my teacher’s name: Ms. Kaplan. I loved the bus. Driving through different neighborhoods, singing songs, laughing with friends.

It was one of the happiest school years of my life.

That was a long, long, long time ago.

I will never forget my son, Norrin’s, first day of kindergarten. 

Read the rest on Babble click the link -->  http://bit.ly/15xZjlR

I Sued The Department of Education and Won

I can easily recall all of my short comings and failures. But when asked of my accomplishments, I need to think.  They do not come as easily.

The stuff that I do for The Boy. I don't chalk that up to much. I don't do anything special.  I just do what needs to be done.

Then the other day I read a post by The Empress (Good Day, Regular People).  She called it "Hero Stories." She talked about one of my favorite movies and then shared a forgotten story about her son.  A day when she was his hero. 

I hadn't thought about this day in years, and it made me think of how we --how all of us out here -- have had moments of cape-wearing epicness where we toss aside our risk of injury to save another. (The Empress)

Then she asked her readers to share a time when we were heroes. 

And it reminded me of the time when I had to file for an Impartial Hearing.

If you recall, The Boy didn't have the best start to Kindergarten.  It sucked, actually.  I can say that now that he's out of that school. And he basically failed.  

When The Boy started kindergarten, there was no Occupational Therapist (OT) at the school.  Even though, the school principal and vice principal assured me there would be one.  Even though the program stated that the OT was a critical member of the team.

The Boy is a highly sensory seeking kind of kid. I never would have placed him in a school without an OT.  

By the second week of school, I was at odds with the school. They didn't like me and I didn't like them.  I asked too many questions and I had been told several times that I should "relax."  That's easy to say when it's not when it's not your kid.

I was paying out of pocket for private OT services - $150 per 60 minute session. The Boy's IEP mandate required 90 minutes per week.  

By mid October, the school was still without an OT  and I was running out of money.  So I asked the assistant principal to provide an RSA letter so that I didn't have to continue paying for services.  The assistant principal's response? "I've done all that I can do.  Call 311."

Three weeks, one meeting (with 8 people), five emails, seven phone calls and over $1,000 (amount of money spent on OT services) later - we received an RSA letter.

Fast forward to February.  The Boy's school situation was getting worse and I knew he couldn't go back for a second year. I was touring schools and scheduled a free consultation with a special education attorney.  When I told the attorney about paying out of pocket for OT services, she stated I could sue for reimbursement.

In my mind it didn't make sense to pay attorney fees for such a small claim.  So I filed for impartial hearing on my own. I filled out the forms, stated the facts and gathered my evidence.  I even wrote my opening statement for the hearing.

And on the day of the hearing, the Dept of Ed rep didn't even contest the claim. He knew the school was failing The Boy. 

And I won.  All my own* without any legal representation. (Remember, I am just a mom, I am not a: lawyer, professional advocate, special education teacher, psychologist, therapist (of any kind) or social worker.)

There is a lot of talk about special needs kids being bullied in school.  But parents have to deal with bullies too.  Department of Education bullies.  I believe The Boy's school tried to bully me.  They tried to bully me thinking I'd back down and pull him out.  The bullied me by saying I was the problem. They bullied me thinking I'd go away.  

I didn't. I fought back. I never gave up. I stood up for The Boy.  

The Boy's school failed to provide him with a Free Appropriate Public Education. I could have let it go.  I could have been happy with securing the RSA. But I couldn't. In the end, it wasn't so much about the money. It was the sheer principle.

And winning that case gave me the courage and confidence to keep fighting.  And by the end of the school year, I had no choice but to file for impartial hearing again so that I could get him out of the school.

And you know what?  I won that case too.  But that's a post for another day.

The Boy doesn't need to think I'm his hero.  He just needs to know that I believe in him enough to keep fighting like one.


*DISCLAIMER: I did consult with an attorney and Advocates for Children regarding the process. Do not take this post as legal advice. If you have an issue with your school and/or services, consult with an attorney or special education advocate immediately.

He Basically Failed Kindergarten & I'm Okay With It

Today was the the last day of school for New York City Public School kids.  It's also the day  parents start bragging on Facebook about their kids grades. 


Don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on those parents.  I'm the first one to brag about my kid when he does something amazing.  It's just that based on his report card, I have nothing to brag about.  Because The Boy pretty much failed kindergarten and if he were a 'typical' kid - he could have gotten left back.  


When I was a kid there were letter grades, now kids are graded by numbers: 


4 - Exceeds grade-level standards
3 - Meets grade-level standards
2 - Approaches grade-level standards
1 - Far below grade-level standards


And even though it's supposed to be a special education class for children with autism, The Boy got a 1 in almost every single subject.  It was no surprise to me that he got a 3 in Reading.  But everything else?  A big fat 1.   

For the most part, I don't care.  Because I have an understanding of The Boy's autism.  I know that the way the material was being taught was both inappropriate and difficult for him.  


I also understand that grades - in the grand scheme of things - don't matter.  Because I know a grade will not determine how much The Boy actually knows.  And I know goals are what really matter.  And he's met a lot of personal goals this year.  


Which is why I don't understand why The Boy got a 1 in Personal and Social Growth?  (Okay, maybe this grade bothers me a little bit.)


This year, The Boy had a friend from school over.  They played all afternoon and since then he's been asking for her and his other classmates.


This year, The Boy asked "Hey where's Dad?" when he realized he wasn't home yet.


This year, The Boy has made gains in potty training and self help skills like dressing and grooming.  


This year, The Boy's spontaneous speech has made me stop dead in my tracks. 


This year, The Boy learned how to count to 100.  


This year, The Boy started typing on the iPad - searching for things he wanted to watch.  


This year, The Boy's handwriting improved.


This year, The Boy drew a picture (rather than writing what he was asked to draw).


This year, The Boy raised his hand in class when he wanted to speak.


This year, The Boy sat in a crowded cafeteria and managed to eat his lunch.


This year, The Boy succeeded in an environment where he was set up to fail.


This year, in spite of all his challenges at school he has toughed it out.  And he's made progress.  Maybe it's not up to the teacher's standards but The Boy continues to surpass mine.  


Because I know the amount of work he puts in.


Because I know the effort he makes.  


Because I see how hard he tries.


And it's a shame that The Boy's teacher couldn't see the same.     




  

Resolutions, Anniversaries & Graduations

This week I cried many happy tears.

For the 2nd time this year, I had to file for an Impartial Hearing.  I filed the paperwork on my own and with no legal representation.  And on Tuesday The Husband and I met with a person from the school district for a resolution meeting.  

I know some folks will say we got what we wanted.  It's never been about getting what we want.  It's been getting what The Boy NEEDS.  

You know that saying "The squeaky wheel gets the oil"?  That's what I've heard ever since The Boy was diagnosed with autism and I had to advocate to make sure his needs were met.

I'm totally okay with being the squeaky wheel if it means, The Boy gets what he needs.  I mean, "Squeaky" was my high school nickname.  

And because I've been squeaking all year long, The Boy will be starting a new school in July.    It has been a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.   And I am extremely grateful to the man who helped lift that weight.

The Husband and I celebrated our 9 year wedding anniversary on Wednesday.  I wanted to write a whole post about that...but it will have to wait.  We didn't exchange cards or gifts - I think we've both been preoccupied with all the crazy of this week.  

On Thursday The Husband attended an award ceremony at The Boy's school.  I couldn't go because I had to work.  But I was super proud that The Boy got an award in Technology.  I'm not surprised -  I mean, did you read yesterday's post?  But it was nice to see that his computer teacher recognized how hard he's worked this year.

This morning The Boy graduated kindergarten.  It's been such a long, difficult year.  For the both of us.  And it was difficult to sit through the graduation for many reasons.  And of course I cried.  Again, for many different reasons.  I'll post graduation pics next week.  

And now - I'm ready for the weekend.  I think we'll take a drive out to Connecticut - to the aquarium or the children's museum.  

What are your plans for the weekend?  

I Need This Right Now

When All Else Fails...I Say a Little Prayer

The Boy as Student of the Month (Sike!)

Sike: a slang term (correctly, "psych") that was big in the 1990s. It's similar in usage to adding "not" to the end of a statement that's meant to be either sarcastic, a joke, or both.

On Friday I came home from work and opened The Boy's book bag.  In it, was a dog tag like chain "Student of the Month."

I stared at it for a while - amazed.  Proud.  And even a little hopeful.  It was the perfect Mother's Day gift. 

There are only 7 kids in The Boy's kindergarten class.  (Even though, it's supposed to be a 6:1:2).  May is the 8th month of the school year.  And yet, The Boy has never been student of the month.  

Is it me?  Or does that seem messed up?

So when I saw the Student of the Month dog tag, I was all like - it's about damn time!

I asked The Boy about it.  He said it was a "student of the month ring."  I gave him a big kiss and a hug. 

Every day I tell The Boy that he's a smart kid and that he knows his stuff.  I was happy that his teacher was finally looking beyond the behaviors and diagnosis and seeing him for the bright kid he is. 

Because in spite of everything, The Boy has come such a long way this year.  He's talking so much, reads above age level and has been asking questions and wanting to make the social connection.

A few weeks ago, we had a play date with the little girl in his class.  And ever since that day, he's asking about her.  Asking if she'll come to his room and play.  And The Boy's been asking for other kids in his class to come over.  He's never done that before.       

And then yesterday, The Husband broke the news in the dairy section (he met me at the supermarket).  He said he listened to the messages.  The Boy's bus driver called - apparently, the student of the month chain belonged to another kid on the bus.  He dropped it and The Boy picked it up.  The bus driver asked if we could return it on Monday to the real Student of the Month.  

I'll be honest, the news put a serious damper on my Mother's Day.  I went home and sulked on the sofa.  Again, wondering - there are 7 kids in the class, May is the 8th month of the school year and still The Boy has not been student of the month.  I mean, it's kindergarten.  And there are only 7 freaking kids.  Shouldn't everyone get a turn? 

A few people tried to console me by saying - It's okay, The Boy doesn't know the difference.  

But what if he does?

I read Carly's Voice - the book about the non verbal autistic girl who started communicating by typing. When she started typing as communication - her family realized that Carly had understood everything that had been happening.  

What if that's the same with The Boy?

It's hard to know just how much The Boy knows.  But I do know he's a lot smarter than the folks at his school give him credit for.

And in writing this I realize, that The Boy doesn't need a chain as recognition of his progress.  I see it everyday.  And we celebrate it.     

All I Want for The Boy

The Turning 5 process for parents of Special Needs children is tough.  And this year has been even tougher.  We're in the process all over again...

And I thought back to this post I wrote last year.  When I was in the midst of applying to schools, filling out applications and hoping for the best, ugh - I mean the most appropriate. 

Anyway, several applications asked this question:

What are your long term concerns and wishes for your child?

This is my answer -  

Our greatest concern is that we won't be able to secure the most appropriate academic environment to meet Norrin's needs.  What if there isn't a school that can nurture his strengths as well as his weaknesses?  And if we can't find a school that can nuture his strengths as well as support his weaknesses - how will that impact his future? 

We know for many parents, mainstream is the holy grail.  That does not matter to us. We are realistic about what he can and can't do.  If mainstream is a possibility, fine. And if not - then that's fine too. 

We would never want to push him into an environment where he may be set up to fail. We know that he's bright and that he has the capacity to learn.  We don't need general education to prove that. 

Norrin doesn't need to be the popular kid. But if he wants friendship, we want him to have the tools to develop one.

We just want him to be happy.  To feel good about himself.  To enjoy his life. To be productive.   

We want Norrin to be himself and know that he's okay.  We want him to know that he doesn't need to be cured or fixed.  Norrin is a lovable little boy with a charming smile.  He is fast on his feet, he has a quirky sense of humor, his laugh is infectious.  And we never want him to lose the qualities that make him special.  

We hope that as he gets older, people will appreciate him just as he is.  We hope people will want to understand him.  All we want is for him to have a place in this world.  All we want for him is to have the same opportunities as any one else. 

Isn't this what all parents want for their children?

What do you want for your child?

Sometimes Things Fall Apart...

"Sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall together."

(not sure if this is the exact quote or who even said it.)

The other day one of my FB friends posted this quote or something similar (I can't remember exactly) as their status update.  And well, I certainly hope this is the case.  Because lately things seem to be falling apart.

There is so much uncertainty lately.  Well, if I'm going to be completely honest - there's been uncertainty since The Boy's first day of kindergarten.  I remember this time last year, feeling tangled in red tape, overwhelmed and unsure as to what would happen in September.   

And so much has happened this school year.  Things I cannot write about.  But I will say this.  It's been incredibly disappointing.  And frustrating.

And while The Boy has come so far since September and I'm please with his progress.  I'm still at a complete loss. 

And I have raised questions and concerns that go ignored and unanswered.

And I have become cynical.  And I have lost both faith and respect in the New York Board of Special Education. 

And that's unfortunate because I wanted so hard to believe that ultimately - people will do right thing by a child with special needs. 

And bottom line.  More often than not.  They don't. 

Children are no longer children but a number in a broken system.         
 
And then last week - I stood in the rain for an hour.  Waiting for The Boy.  With The Boy's ABA therapist (that I pay for privately).  Needless to say, The Boy lost an hour of therapy. 

And when I called the school bus matrons, I was told that 2 more children were added to the route. 

And I could hear The Boy in the background - his high pitched perseverating speech.  And I knew he was confused.  Nervous.  Unsure of what was happening because The Boy memorizes routes.

The Boy is put on the bus at 2:20 pm (I think this is the time.  Though when I called The Boy's school to confirm, no one seemed to know.  But they did tell me, the bus is often late.  But that's for another post...)  And he didn't get home until 4:45 pm.  That means my 6 year old autistic child was on a school bus for 2 hours and 25 minutes.  And the matrons told me that 4:30 - 4:45 would be his new drop off time.

And I'm supposed to shut up and be okay with it?  Oh Hell Motha Effin NO! 

The school is less than 6 miles away.  He just turned 6.  He's autistic.  He has a 6 hour school day and over 4 hours in commuting each way.  I'm sorry, I don't want to be on a bus for more than an hour - let alone 2! 

So I wrote a letter to the person in charge of Office Pupil Transportation (OPT). 

And I may have cc'd the Borough President.  And um...The Chancellor.  (Because you know, me & Dennis are cool like that.)

They are working on it and The Boy has been getting home a few minutes earlier every day.

And you know what the OPT dude had the nerve to say that it wasn't necessary for me to cc those folks. 

Well...I beg to differ.  I will cc whoever it takes.  I will call and write whoever I need.  And I will do whatever it takes.  To make sure that The Boy's needs are being met.  That he has the appropriate services he needs.  That is my job.

And even when the NY Board of Ed & OPT don't do their jobs - that's fine.  I will continue to do mine.

So let things continue to fall apart.  Mama's putting it back together. 


(Yeah...um, this post is kind of all over the place.  But I have lots going on and my mind if sort of all over the place too.)         

         
 

Just Another Manic Month

I can't believe it's the last Friday in February.  This month has been a whirlwind - a month of ups and downs.  Rejoices and rejections.  There's been so much going on that I haven't had the energy to write or read.  So this is my month in Fragments:

Back in November my mother's father, sister and brother were hospitalized.  My aunt was out within a few days - she's a feisty old broad, that one.  My grandfather (who is 89) was out after a few days too but he's not doing so great.  He needs insulin shots twice a day and my mother is the one that gives it to him.  She prepares his breakfast, lunch and dinner too.   As for my uncle, he just got out of the hospital. He's home and my mother checks in on him too.  (My mother, grandfather and uncle all live in the same building.) 

And then my mom takes the train from Queens up to The Bronx 4 days a week to pick up The Boy from the bus.  (I know, my mom is a saint!)  Anyway - my mom is tired.  And she won't say it but I know all of this is taking a toll on her.  And I was trying to think of an alternative solution for after school childcare that will still allow The Boy to get his ABA therapy.  I'm VERY happy to have found one.  I asked one of The Boy's past teacher assistants if he'd be willing to pick up The Boy 2 days a week.  Not only did he agree to do it BUT he's super excited about seeing The Boy again.

*

This month The Boy had two evaluations: psychological and speech.  Which meant he had to miss 2 days of school.  Which also meant me rearranging my work schedule for a few days.  Which meant I had to take 2 buses to get to the evaluation place.  Sit 2 hours through the evaluation.  Answer the same questions I've been asked for the last three years.  Then take a bus to the train station.  Take the train into the City.  Drop The Boy off at the company back up day care (a major perk that I LOVE!) and then run up 9 city blocks and 2 avenues to my office.  Work for a few hours, then run back the 9 blocks and 2 avenues down to pick up The Boy from the daycare.  And then...luckily both days, The Husband picked us up in the City.

*

Earlier this month, I was invited to this amazing lunch hosted by the Ladies Home Journal.  I was pretty honored to be there - I was in the room with real writers, women that I had been reading for last the year.  As a secretary, I'm used to being seen and not heard.  I'm used to sitting in on meetings taking minutes, but never would I dare offer my opinion.  Most of the time, I'm ignored; the higher ups just don't talk to the secretary.  It's just the way the corporate world works.  So to be at this table among these inspiring powerful group of women, mothers, special needs writers/advocates - was sort of intimidating.  But it was one of the best experiences I've had (as a blog writer) and that post is coming soon.

* 

Speaking of amazing experiences...I've been invited to write guest posts on a few websites.  And it feels really good, to get that kind of response to my writing - it's validating.  But wouldn't you know - I've had an incredibly case of writer's block.  And I have these great opportunities and I'm struggling.  I mean, if I write something crappy here...that's one thing.  I can revise or delete.  But to write something crappy for another blog  - one that gets way more traffic than mine?  There's no going back.  It's quite a bit of pressure...

*

I stepped on the scale...as a result, I've been trying to exercise more.  That post is sitting in my drafts.   Have I lost any weight?  Nope - I've been losing & gaining the same damn 3 pounds.  But I have to get serious.                     

*

This time last year, I had no idea where The Boy was going to go to school.  Then a school accepted him.  Then we started...and it's been a roller coaster ride ever since.  I probably shouldn't even be writing about it anymore but screw it.  A school shouldn't retaliate if the truth is being told.  Anyway - everyone is giving me the run around and I'm dizzy.  One day The Boy isn't appropriate, the next day he is.  And once again, I have no idea where The Boy is going to be placed in September. 

*

And did I mention, I may be going to an Impartial Hearing in the next few weeks.  Did I mention, I'm going pro se (without an attorney).

*

And before you go...please check out my Q & A with Unknown Mami :) 



Play along! Don't know how?  

Check out Mrs. 4444

at Half Past Kissin Time 

for more Friday Fragments.

When all else fails, I say a little prayer.

Last night after The Boy fell asleep, I sat on the sofa with The Husband and started to cry.  "It shouldn't have to be this hard." 

And The Husband, put his hand over mine.  "It'll be okay, babe." 

Because that's what he says when he's run out of words of consolation.

It's been a rough couple of weeks.
   
I am not a religious person.  I don't go to church or really believe in God even though I was raised Catholic, taught Sunday School (while in high school) and worked at a Rectory.  I'm pretty much an Agnostic, borderline Atheist.  But this isn't about God or Jesus.  It's about faith.  It's about the power words can provide when you are searching for serenity. 

That is where I am today, because I've been saying this prayer all morning (well...skipping the last 5 or 6 lines because like I said, I am not a believer). 

I can't force people to do the right thing when it comes to The Boy. 

I know I am doing the right thing.  I know I am doing all that I can for him.   

Now I will just need to have faith. 
 



What gets you through the hard times? 

Post It Note Tuesday: Progress!

  

Walking Up The Down Escalator

Summer 2011

Last night while doing homework with The Boy, I watched as he struggled coloring within the lines. Writing his name.  Tracing the letters.  His hand shook as he gripped the crayon.  The crayon that I broke in half to help with his grip.  (note to self: DO NOT break crayons in front of The Boy. It leads to 5 minutes of "We have to fix it.  We need scotch tape.") The Boy needed a bit of redirection and every so often I needed to put my hand over his.



Fall 2011



I stare at the scrawl of his six letter name and I'm glad he doesn't have to write out his last. As much as The Boy loves spelling and letters and building words with his blocks - writing is an exhausting task.  It's not laziness, it's hard.  Physically and mentally exhausting.  It requires hand strength he doesn't quite have. Motor planning and concentration.

For me it requires a lot of redirection.  And even more patience. 

Why does The Boy have difficulty concentrating to write his own name, but has the patience to spell out If you give a moose a muffin?  It's a question, I know he cannot answer.  At least not now. 

There was a time when The Boy couldn't point his finger. 
There was a time when The Boy couldn't jump.
There was a time when The Boy couldn't speak.

The Boy does all of these things now.  So I have to remind myself not to worry too much about his handwriting or the coloring within the lines.    

When I got off the D train at Columbus Circle this morning, I glanced over at the escalators.
The up escalator was too crowded, The down escalator, empty.  I was almost tempted to run up the down escalator, instead I ran up the subway steps.   

I don't know why, but at that moment I thought of The Boy and his learning process.  Some children can just get by as easily as standing on the escalator.  Others, have to work at it by running up the stairs.  Learning for The Boy, is like walking up the down escalator.  It's difficult, there are moments when you feel like you're just never moving forward. Getting to the top will take much longer, but it can be done. 

The Boy never stops moving.  Eventually he'll make it to the top.  And every day he's one step closer to getting there.