All I Want for The Boy

The Turning 5 process for parents of Special Needs children is tough.  And this year has been even tougher.  We're in the process all over again...

And I thought back to this post I wrote last year.  When I was in the midst of applying to schools, filling out applications and hoping for the best, ugh - I mean the most appropriate. 

Anyway, several applications asked this question:

What are your long term concerns and wishes for your child?

This is my answer -  

Our greatest concern is that we won't be able to secure the most appropriate academic environment to meet Norrin's needs.  What if there isn't a school that can nurture his strengths as well as his weaknesses?  And if we can't find a school that can nuture his strengths as well as support his weaknesses - how will that impact his future? 

We know for many parents, mainstream is the holy grail.  That does not matter to us. We are realistic about what he can and can't do.  If mainstream is a possibility, fine. And if not - then that's fine too. 

We would never want to push him into an environment where he may be set up to fail. We know that he's bright and that he has the capacity to learn.  We don't need general education to prove that. 

Norrin doesn't need to be the popular kid. But if he wants friendship, we want him to have the tools to develop one.

We just want him to be happy.  To feel good about himself.  To enjoy his life. To be productive.   

We want Norrin to be himself and know that he's okay.  We want him to know that he doesn't need to be cured or fixed.  Norrin is a lovable little boy with a charming smile.  He is fast on his feet, he has a quirky sense of humor, his laugh is infectious.  And we never want him to lose the qualities that make him special.  

We hope that as he gets older, people will appreciate him just as he is.  We hope people will want to understand him.  All we want is for him to have a place in this world.  All we want for him is to have the same opportunities as any one else. 

Isn't this what all parents want for their children?

What do you want for your child?

What The NYC Public School Special Education System Really Needs

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Back to the Future...with Special Needs Ryan Gosling

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  And just in case you have no idea what I'm referencing...click HERE. 


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I Wish I Could...

There are a lot of things a gal like me could wish for. 


I wish I could have a million dollars - because um, , who wouldn't want a million dollars? 


I wish I could do something wild and crazy like jump out of an airplane but I'm a big ol chicken.


And I wish I could see ten years into the future. 


But mostly, I wish I could ask The Boy a question and have him answer back. 


I often feel that autism is like playing a game of 20 questions, except I'm playing alone.  I spend most of my day, trying to figure out what The Boy wants, means or needs.  I spend so much time trying to figure out what he's trying to say.  And at times, wondering if I got it right.

I know I should be counting my blessings that The Boy has language.  And I feel like it's selfish to wish for, want or expect more than what I have.  Because he can tell me when he's hungry, thirsty or sleepy.  The Boy can recite lines from movies and books.  He can point and tell me exactly what toy he wants when we're out shopping.    

But he can't answer a question - like what he had for lunch.  Or who he played with in school.  Or what was the best part of his day.  And I'd like to know.

(And with the 3 recent NYC public school sex scandals - I want need to be able to ask The Boy if he's been touched inappropriately.  And I need him to be able to answer correctly.  It's a discussion, I'll need to have with the home based therapists - I need The Boy to be able to understand good touching and bad touching.  But that's for a whole other post...)

Too often, I see parents engaged in back and forth conversation with their kids.  And I want that with mine.  

I would love nothing more than to come home from work, ask him about his day at school and have him answer me back.

The Boy's come such a long way since his diagnosis.  I am hopeful that one day it will happen.  I just wish it could happen sooner rather than later.  But like everything else in our journey, the things we want most happen in their own time.


What do you wish? 

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