Can an Autism Mom Have It All? (My Response to Time Magazine Article: The Childfree Life)

By now you've seen this Time cover. The taunting photo of a couple sans kids sprawled out on the beach, hands over head, all smug and relaxed because their childfree life allows them to have it all.

The article explores the lives of childless women and couples. And ever since it's publication, the blogosphere has been all a buzz over it. 

Babble blogger Jeannette Kaplun wrote an excellent post in response: 

Being a parent has been the best choice for me, but it isn’t necessarily for everybody. That’s why it didn’t surprise me at all to see this week’s TIME cover, which looks at the choice more American couples are making — to purposefully live their lives without children. I don’t think that choosing to not be a mother is selfish. I actually think that it can do the world a ton of good. 

I agree with Jeannette, I believe in a woman's right to choose. I believe that not all women are supposed to be mothers. I believe that motherhood was the best thing that happened to me (even though it wasn't exactly in my life plan).

And I feel sorry for the women in the Time article. Not sorry that they don't have children - sorry that they feel the need to justify their reasons why they don't have/want children. 

Still the great debate continues. Can we or can't we have it all. And what does having it all really mean? Does 'all' even matter? 

We don't have to look to a magazine cover to see women who appear to have it all - all we have to do is log on to Facebook or Pinterest. Social media allows us to peer into the window of other women's lives and wonder how do they do it? They either have great jobs or they're stay-at-home moms or they have the best of both worlds - they are work-at-home moms. They live in the right neighborhoods, have the 'perfect' kids or the 'perfect' partner. They drive the nice car and eat the right foods. Everything matches and they're exactly the size they're supposed to be. Their hair and nails are always done. They wear designer clothes that I can't pronounce. They go on date nights, girls night out and romantic weekend getaways. Their homes are out of the pages of a Pottery Barn catalog - they can light candles without worrying about a kid setting themselves on fire. They craft and scrapbook and bake their own bread and do all sorts of amazing things with their kids that make me feel like a slacker mom. Their kids are on the honor roll, have dates to prom and get scholarships to college. They have empty nest syndrome, enjoy their retirement and/or surrounded by adorable grandchildren.

Time magazine makes me wonder: what about autism parents? Do we, can we or will we ever have it all?

I know many mothers who quit their jobs to stay home with their kids. Some autism moms home school. And when they don't, they wonder if they should. 

We spend hours researching, reviewing, learning about autism, therapies, medications and legal rights. We can easily spend more time on the phone fighting with insurance companies than chatting with our BFFs. We constantly worry about our kids and their future. Will they have friends? Will they fall in love? Have a job? Live independently? We want nothing more than to be there for our child, to live forever or secretly hope to outlive our child by a day (or less).

What about an autism mom like me?

I work (full-time outside of the home) because I have to and The Boy goes to a school I had to fight to get him into. As an autism mom, I am exhausted and overwhelmed. There isn't a night when I don't lay awake in my bed worrying over all the What Ifs and Will Hes. 

I look at the Time cover and I wonder if I will ever lay like that on a beach with The Husband. Our date nights are so few and far between - will a romantic weekend getaway ever be a possibility? Will we be able to relax and enjoy our golden years? Will we ever have a 'childfree' life even after our child grows up?   

I don't know. Honestly? The not knowing makes me sad.  

My life is far from perfect. I have more than my fair share of stress, disappointment and heartache. By some women's standards, I don't have it all. Not many women would trade their sexy heels to step into my sensible flats. And that's okay because I wouldn't trade in my flats for their heels either. 

So when I read a headline like When having it all means not having children - I have to check myself and take inventory of what I do have.

I have a husband who adores me and genuinely supports me in every way.

I have a beautiful boy who lights up my world even on my darkest day.

I have parents, family and friends who accept The Boy just as he is.

I have a job that pays the bills (and provides health insurance) and a few freelance gigs that keep me sane.

I have a comfortable apartment that's a size I can manage to keep clean. We have a car that can get us from point a to point b. And I have a few cute pair of sensible flats.  

I never wanted to be a mother. It wasn't something I dreamed about or planned for. Motherhood, for me, just happened. But being a mother - being The Boy's mother - has given me more than I could have ever imagined. I don't have many material things but I have the things that matter most. I don't have to have it all. Because I'm happy with what I have right now. What I have is more than enough. 

Wise Words of Buddha

Today is my last first day of graduate school. I've dreamed of this moment for the five years...maybe longer.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the past five years. All that I've lost. And all that I've gained. Life has not been easy. But whose life is?

I spend a lot of time worrying thinking about the what ifs of the future. What will happen when I am finally done with school? Will it have been worth it?

I cannot change the past. There's a part of me that doesn't really want to either. As for the future? No amount of dreaming could provide certainty.


And all the time I've spent dwelling in the past or dreaming of the future - I forgot about where I actually am. The present. 

This is the present.

And I'm not spending enough time in it. I'm not concentrating enough on it. I've realized some of the best moments of my life have slipped by unnoticed because I didn't concentrate enough in the present.

Today is the last day of my first day of graduate school. Today is going to be a good day. 

A Walk In My Shoes

I remember how happy I was, bringing them home. My purple wedge Lucky sandals. They weren't on sale but they were well worth the price.  The moment I tried them on, they fit perfectly on my feet.  I was starting to gain weight, my back was beginning to ache and the shoes provided the support and comfort that I would need in the coming months.  

I immediately took them out of the box and held them up for The Husband.  

"What do you think?" I asked.

"I don't," he said. 

I wasn't surprised. I figured he wouldn't like them.  But I didn't care, he wasn't the one that was 8 weeks pregnant.

I wore them almost daily, revolving my outfits around my purple shoes. I wore white, pink and navy. The only other purple item I owned was a scarf and I carried that with me, to wrap around my shoulders on the subway. I was able to wear my shoes all day at work and then walk home through the park on my way home without my feet aching at the end of the day.  

They were the best shoes ever. 

I remember wearing them on that day in early August.  Walking up the block to my OB/GYNs office for my 16 week appointment.  Dressed in all white and my purple shoes.  I walked with confidence, excited to hear the heartbeat of the baby growing inside me.  

I remember the look on my OB/GYNs face as she told me, there was no heartbeat to be heard.  

I remember how heavy my feet felt walking out of the doctors office.

I remember the next day dressed in a navy blue dress and purple shoes walking alone to the hospital.  Walking slowly, with my hand round my belly protecting the lifeless baby that needed to be removed.

I remember the echo of my purple shoes as I walked down the hospital hall.

And when it was all over, I remember The Husband slipping off my hospital socks one by one.  I remember how gentle he was as he placed a purple shoe gingerly on each foot.  And how he held me up and helped me walk; his arm around my waist and me leaning against him.  

I remember putting those purple shoes in the closest and not wearing them for the rest of the summer.

Then the following summer, I reached into the closet and pulled out my purple shoes.  And every morning, as I got dressed, I looked at those shoes, wondering if I could wear them. Even though I loved them.  Even though I wanted to wear them.  Even though I looked at them at least twice a week, only to put on another pair.  As silly as it seemed, I was afraid to walk in my own shoes.  And at the end of last summer, back in the closet they went.

This summer, once again, I pulled the purple shoes from my closet.  Every morning, I dressed and looked over the shoes I longed to wear.  

As I prepared for BlogHer, I shopped my closet, trying to figure out what to wear.  I knew I wanted to wear my white dress and I needed to decide on a pair of shoes.  They needed to be comfortable.  I looked at my purple shoes, they would be perfect I thought. Except the Saturday I wanted to wear my white dress, marked two years since the day I lost the baby.

Could I wear them?  Was I strong enough to walk in my own shoes?    

I spent the last days of July and the first days of August crying myself to sleep.  Fighting back tears on the subway, grateful to hide behind my big dark glasses.  Going into the bathroom at work to collect myself. I wondered, why. I wondered how different my life would be, had the baby been born.  Wondering how a baby would have changed our life? Would I be writing? I wondered what kind of brother The Boy would be?       
    
On Saturday, August 4th, I slipped into my white eyelet cotton dress and stepped into my purple shoes.  I looked at myself in the mirror for a long time. I have spent the last two years, trying to accept. Trying to forget.  Trying to tell myself, these things happen for a reason.  I just haven't figured out the reason.  

I walked out my door wearing my purple shoes. The shoes felt a little lighter, it was my heart that was heavy.  
        
I walked around BlogHer that Saturday, mostly alone, unable to focus on the sessions. None of it seemed important to me. Though hearing Katie & Soledad made me forget my sadness for a little while.  

I went to the Serenity Suite for a few moments of quiet.

I wandered around, met up with some friends and waited to see another friend in the fashion show.  And after the fashion show, I even danced.

I danced in the shoes I had been scared to walk in.

It was a little after midnight when I stepped out of the cab and walked up the block into my building. After walking around the whole day, after dancing into the night my feet didn't ache.  And my heart felt a little lighter.

I remembered how much I loved my purple shoes and how happy they made me.

And I knew I could wear them again.                   

Wearing my purple shoes for the 1st time in 2 years @BlogHer 

Letting Go of Mainstream Dreams

I've been up since 4 am.  Not by choice.  That's the time The Boy woke up. 

By 5 am, I was up and out of bed.  Threw a load of laundry in the washing machine.  Laced up my running sneakers and headed out the door.  (On Day 4 of excercising)

By 6 am, I was half dressed and packing up The Boy's bookbag for his first day at a new school.

And by 7 am, The Boy's school bus pulled up in front of our building.  I introduced myself to the new driver and matron.  The Boy jumped on the school without looking back or a goodbye kiss.  But The Husband and I called his name and we got the goodbye kisses we needed.  

Walking back up to our building, I started to cry.  I know, I know - I'm a cry baby.

Norrin has been taking the school bus since he was a baby - barely 3 years old.  He's been taking the bus since before he could even talk and while he was still in diapers.  

This is the 3rd school he's been bussed to in the last four 4 years.

You would think I'd be used to it by now.  But it doesn't get easier.  Handing your child over to a stranger for the first time.  And this new school is the farthest The Boy's ever been.  

Don't get me wrong - I LOVE the new school. I'm so happy he's there.  It's the right place for him to be.  

It was just never the place I expected him to be.

When The Boy was diagnosed with autism 4 years ago and we started the therapies - I remember The Husband telling me, "This is just to get him up to speed.  By the time kindergarten starts - he'll be able to go to a regular school."

Because for many parents that's the goal.  Mainstream education.  It's the dream.  

I think there was this tiny part of me that wanted to believe that.        

That's the thing about life down the autism rabbit hole.  You can make peace with it,  embrace it but accept it?  Acceptance is not a one shot deal, it's an on going process.  There will always be something new to accept.

The Boy's kindergarten year came and went.  And the fact is, he couldn't cope in a typical public school.  Even in a classroom of 6 kids.  Even with all the accommodations.  Even with the after school ABA therapists coming to the house 4 days a week.  Even with sensory gym on Saturdays.  The Boy still couldn't truly be successful in a 'regular' public school. Granted The  Boy was set up for failure but this last year was a huge eye opener for me.

So this morning as I waited next to a mother with her 13 year old son - who was also waiting for his yellow mini bus to appear - I realized that The Boy may never go to a school within walking distance. 

The Boy may be 13, 14, 15 years old and will still need me to wait with him for the mini bus to pick him up.  The Boys new school goes to 21 - he will probably be there until that age.  The Boy will probably never have a mainstream education. I have to just let that dream go.  I'm okay with it.  At the end of the day, all I want is for The Boy to be in a place where he can be happy and accepted for what he can do.  I know The Boy's education is about goals not grades. 


And I also know there are plenty of new dreams to be had.               

      

He Basically Failed Kindergarten & I'm Okay With It

Today was the the last day of school for New York City Public School kids.  It's also the day  parents start bragging on Facebook about their kids grades. 


Don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on those parents.  I'm the first one to brag about my kid when he does something amazing.  It's just that based on his report card, I have nothing to brag about.  Because The Boy pretty much failed kindergarten and if he were a 'typical' kid - he could have gotten left back.  


When I was a kid there were letter grades, now kids are graded by numbers: 


4 - Exceeds grade-level standards
3 - Meets grade-level standards
2 - Approaches grade-level standards
1 - Far below grade-level standards


And even though it's supposed to be a special education class for children with autism, The Boy got a 1 in almost every single subject.  It was no surprise to me that he got a 3 in Reading.  But everything else?  A big fat 1.   

For the most part, I don't care.  Because I have an understanding of The Boy's autism.  I know that the way the material was being taught was both inappropriate and difficult for him.  


I also understand that grades - in the grand scheme of things - don't matter.  Because I know a grade will not determine how much The Boy actually knows.  And I know goals are what really matter.  And he's met a lot of personal goals this year.  


Which is why I don't understand why The Boy got a 1 in Personal and Social Growth?  (Okay, maybe this grade bothers me a little bit.)


This year, The Boy had a friend from school over.  They played all afternoon and since then he's been asking for her and his other classmates.


This year, The Boy asked "Hey where's Dad?" when he realized he wasn't home yet.


This year, The Boy has made gains in potty training and self help skills like dressing and grooming.  


This year, The Boy's spontaneous speech has made me stop dead in my tracks. 


This year, The Boy learned how to count to 100.  


This year, The Boy started typing on the iPad - searching for things he wanted to watch.  


This year, The Boy's handwriting improved.


This year, The Boy drew a picture (rather than writing what he was asked to draw).


This year, The Boy raised his hand in class when he wanted to speak.


This year, The Boy sat in a crowded cafeteria and managed to eat his lunch.


This year, The Boy succeeded in an environment where he was set up to fail.


This year, in spite of all his challenges at school he has toughed it out.  And he's made progress.  Maybe it's not up to the teacher's standards but The Boy continues to surpass mine.  


Because I know the amount of work he puts in.


Because I know the effort he makes.  


Because I see how hard he tries.


And it's a shame that The Boy's teacher couldn't see the same.     




  

Sometimes You'll Get Knocked Down

Last week - completely knocked me out.  And I feel angry, frustrated, anxious, bitter, depressed, guilty, emotionally bruised and beaten down. 

Because how can any parent not get emotional when it comes to their kid? 

There is so much going on right on.  And I can't keep it together long enough to write a post.  Truth be told, it's been hard for me to write for the last few months. 

But this week, is especially hard.

I'm having a hard time recovering from last week's knock  down.

This week, I'm trying to catch my breath.  I'm trying to stand straight on shaky knees.  I'm trying to clear my head.

Because getting knocked down, doesn't mean giving up.  It means having another chance to get up and make things right.

Bleach is For Cleaning, Not Curing.

When The Boy was first diagnosed with autism, I really believed he could be "fixed."   I wanted to make him normal.  (I think most parents go through that phase.)  I tried diets, I researched and read different books.  And for a hot second, that damn Jenny McCarthy made me feel guilty for not taking The Boy to a DAN! doctor.  

For many parents, it's about trial and error.  We are willing to try (almost) anything and everything if it means helping our kid.

But when will a parent draw the line? 

I know where I would draw that line.  I'll get back to that... 

Over the last few weeks, this article about the Autism One conference and Kerri Rivera (Director of Autism02 - Hyperbaric Clinic in Puerto Villarta, Mexico) has been making its way across the blogosphere.

And it's been making its way for good reason. Rivera claims that she has helped children recover from autism with something called Miracle Mineral Solution (MMS). 

So what is this little miracle?  

...in essence, [MMS,] is industrial strength bleach, 28% sodium chlorite in distilled water. It is frequently diluted in acidic juices, such as orange juice, resulting in the formation of chlorine dioxide, which is, as the FDA characterized it, “a potent bleach used for stripping textiles and industrial water treatment.”

And Rivera's treatment involves giving autistic children MMS via mouth or enema.  She also suggests periodically increasing the dosage and bathing in the solution.  (The article goes into great detail and provides video of Rivera detailing the process.)

In a 2010 CNN article, the FDA warns against usage of the solution as they have "received numerous reports of serious side effects including nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and life threatening low-blood pressure from dehydration."  Though Rivera dismisses diarrhea as "OK as long as it's detox diarrhea.'" 

So where would I draw the line?  Hmmmm somewhere around bleach and enema.  Because it sounds...I don't know?  SADISTIC, CRUEL and Motha EFFIN CRAZY!  

For me, the worst part about this whole thing is where Rivera started her clinic - in Puerto Vallarte, Mexico.  While Puerto Vallarte may be a fab vacation hot spot, it's not all resorts and margaritas for the people who live there.  

Although Puerto Vallarta is probably one of the best places to live in Mexico, some areas are still riddled with poverty and unsanitary conditions. Outside of the strip of resorts, there is an overwhelming amount of people living in very poor conditions.  A large part of the population here live with unpaved roads and lack of infrastructure. Rural areas and surrounding towns are lined with miles of shanties where many live without proper sewage systems and clean water supply. Of the 45,000 year round nations living in PV, 10% do not have a potable water supply, 8% do not have connections to a sewer/septic system, and 4% do not have electricity. Although the city has made impressive strides to improve the quality of life for their people, they still have a long way to go. For many, life is still a constant struggle, and it’s seen everywhere, even on the Malecon where sad looking beggars plead with a small cup as the tourists walk by. Even for those working, they heavily rely on seasonal tourism to keep a steady job, and the daily minimum wage is about 57 pesos, which is about $5 US a day! [source - this passage is from a personal blog, it is her description of life while living in Mexico]

If parents complain about the system and services in the United States, I can only imagine how scarce resources are in Mexico.  I can understand how MMS can truly seem like a miracle to a parent in Mexico.  Because when you have a child with autism, a parent is willing to try anything you think may work.  And when resources are limited or non-existant or completely out of your financial reach, the line may be harder to draw.  

But MMS isn't exactly the option I'd want them to have.  And sadly, for many low income impoverished families - MMS is probably the only option they have since Rivera uses "fundraising efforts and donations the clinic offers treatment for children of low income families at no charge."

There is so much stigma that surrounds autism - especially within the Latino community.  We don't talk about.  We're ashamed of it.  We're scared of it.  We dismiss it.  And now Rivera- claims to be able to "cure" it.  As if autism is something that could be treated with un remedio casero (a home remedy).  In my opinion, that's a dangerous message to send. 

I want to be supportive of Kerri Rivera for starting a much needed autism non profit in Mexico, for raising awareness, for empowering families. 

And I want to believe that Rivera wants to really help and that she's not exploiting poor children and using them as guinea pigs to gain fame in the States. 

But to me, all Rivera is doing is, creating a false sense of hope for many families.  And she's putting children at risk.  

I want those families in Puerta Vallarta to know they have other options.  How do we do that?          

       

  

****

 

Emily Willingham has started this petition below.  Please sign it.   

 

http://www.change.org/petitions/no-bleach-enemas-to-cure-autism-in-children

 

Mental Health Matters to Latinos #SpeakUpForKids

In case you missed yesterday's blog post - this week is National Children's Mental Health Awareness Week and the Child Mind Institute is honoring it's 2nd annual Speak Up For Kids campaign.

And after yesterday's conference and reading through all the materials - I am dedicating this week to help raise awareness and to Speak Up For Kids.

I just want to share some startling mental health facts:

• More than 15 million American children & adolescents have diagnosable psychiatric disorders - more than the number affected by leukemia, diabetes, and AIDS combined.
• Approximately 50% of these kids will never get help. 
• Anxiety Disorders appear to affect girls more than boys.
• Untreated depression is one of the leading causes of teen suicide.
• Some 80% of cases can be readily and successfully treated if kids get help.
• ADHD is the most common psychiatric condition affecting children
• ADHD is diagnosed more frequently in boys than girls
• Children with ADHD drop out of high school 10 times more than other children.
• Untreated, kids with ADHD are more likely to drop out of school, develop a substance abuse problem, or get in trouble with the law.
• It's estimated that learning disorders may impact anywhere from 5 to 20% of all children - as many as 1 in 5 in every classroom.
• Only 64% of students with diagnosed learning disorders graduate from high school.  Their drop out rate is nearly 3 times that of students in the general population
• Working-age adults with learning disorders face higher unemployment rates. 

At yesterday's press conference, we discussed the stigma of mental health.  I believe within the Latino community the stigma and shame of mental health is even greater.

In reading the mental health facts - I wondered how many Latino children went without help they needed.  And I found some startling statistics of my own:   

Suicide attempt rates among Latina high school students in New York have nearly doubled since 2007, reports El Diario/La Prensa. A recent study commissioned by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) of 9,469 New York high school students found that nearly 15 percent, or one in six, Latina students attempted suicide one or more times in 2009. Significantly higher than African-American women (10.2%) and young Caucasian women (6.2%) (source)

High school drop out rates tend to be higher in cities with high socioeconomic disparities and racial segregation. "Epicenters of the dropout crisis are made up of a combination of traditional big-city districts and large countywide school systems. Many of the latter are home to major urban centers," Education Week reported.  "The New York City public school system, the nation's largest district, serves 1.1 million students and predictably emerges as the leading source of non graduates, with nearly 44,000 students slipping away each year." (source)

I am not saying that the Latina suicide rate or that the NYC drop out rates are all linked to mental health but I definitely believe it's a factor.  Poverty, lack of education/awareness, and social stigma all play into the fact that many individuals go without the help they need to live a productive and happy life. 

I wonder how many of these kids went undiagnosed and untreated. 

I wonder how many parents believed their daughters were just being dramatic or if it was just a phase.

I wonder how many parents believed their child would just "grow out of it."

I wonder how many non graduates were called lazy or stupid.

And I wonder how many parents just didn't know what to look for in their children.  Or if they recognized something was wrong - maybe they just didn't know where to go.  Maybe they thought they couldn't afford help.

One of the great things about the Child Mind Institute is that they really want to help children and families - and they don't want money to get in the way.  For families and children with financial need they offer a sliding scale fee and financial aid. 

I think it's important for us to realize that it's okay to get help.  There is no shame in needing mental health treatment.  The only shame is allowing it to go untreated.

Tonight (Tuesday, May 8) at 7PM ET, the Child Mind Institute (@ChildMindDotOrg) will be hosting a tweet chat in honor of Children's Mental Health Awareness Week on Parenting in the Digital Age.

I'll be participating on tonight's Tweet chat - with bullying moving from the playground to cyberspace - it's critical that parents know how to protect their children.

And on Friday, May 11, at 12PM ET the Child Mind Institute will be hosting a live Speak Up for Kids talk on Facebook in honor of Children's Mental Health Awareness Week.

For more events please visit the Events page on Child Mind Institute - http://www.childmind.org/en/events/ 

All I Want for The Boy

The Turning 5 process for parents of Special Needs children is tough.  And this year has been even tougher.  We're in the process all over again...

And I thought back to this post I wrote last year.  When I was in the midst of applying to schools, filling out applications and hoping for the best, ugh - I mean the most appropriate. 

Anyway, several applications asked this question:

What are your long term concerns and wishes for your child?

This is my answer -  

Our greatest concern is that we won't be able to secure the most appropriate academic environment to meet Norrin's needs.  What if there isn't a school that can nurture his strengths as well as his weaknesses?  And if we can't find a school that can nuture his strengths as well as support his weaknesses - how will that impact his future? 

We know for many parents, mainstream is the holy grail.  That does not matter to us. We are realistic about what he can and can't do.  If mainstream is a possibility, fine. And if not - then that's fine too. 

We would never want to push him into an environment where he may be set up to fail. We know that he's bright and that he has the capacity to learn.  We don't need general education to prove that. 

Norrin doesn't need to be the popular kid. But if he wants friendship, we want him to have the tools to develop one.

We just want him to be happy.  To feel good about himself.  To enjoy his life. To be productive.   

We want Norrin to be himself and know that he's okay.  We want him to know that he doesn't need to be cured or fixed.  Norrin is a lovable little boy with a charming smile.  He is fast on his feet, he has a quirky sense of humor, his laugh is infectious.  And we never want him to lose the qualities that make him special.  

We hope that as he gets older, people will appreciate him just as he is.  We hope people will want to understand him.  All we want is for him to have a place in this world.  All we want for him is to have the same opportunities as any one else. 

Isn't this what all parents want for their children?

What do you want for your child?

3 Things I'd Like You to Know About Autism

Autism Awareness Month is kind of like an oxymoron for me and others within the community.  I write this blog in an effort to spread awareness but some days I feel like I'm preaching to the choir.  Because the majority of people who read my blog have an understanding of our day to day lives.  We're aware every single day - not just one month out of the year.

So this month of awareness is for the folks not in the know.  The ones who have never heard of ABA, FAPE, ASD, PDD or any other special needs acronym.

The thing about awareness - it's a two way street.  It's not enough for me to write about it - you have to meet me half way and be willing to learn. 

Today I'm thrilled to be guest posting on Acting Balanced.  It's kind of like a crash course in what I'd like the "typical" parent to know about autism.  

1. What's Autism?
2. How do I explain Autism to my "typical" children?
3. My friend's kid has been diagnosed with autism.  What do I say? What do I do?

Want to know my answers to these 3 questions?  Click HERE 

World Autism Awareness Day - You're Never Too Young To Spread Awareness

I've spent the last three months going back and forth to the Kennedy Center.  We're having The Boy reevaluated.  And the process, has sparked lots of old feelings. 

In May it will be 4 years since The Boy's diagnosis.  And I think back to the April before the diagnosis - when I was waiting for the results of all the evaluations.  When I was hoping for the best while preparing for the worst.  When almost everyone was telling I was worrying for nothing.  When The Husband was certain there was nothing 'wrong.'  I didn't even know April was Autism Awareness Month or that April 2nd, was World Autism Awareness Day. 

Had I known what autism was, I wouldn't have waited so long.  I would have gone with my gut feeling and had The Boy evaluated months before he turned two years old.

But that's neither here nor there.  I can't turn back the clock.  I don't care about what caused autism.  And have no desire to cure The Boy. 

What I do care about and what I can do - is spread awareness.  I believe Autism Awareness and Acceptance needs to start at an early age.  Children who are taught to understand and accept autism, will grow into adults who understand and accept.

Some groups consider autism to be an epidemic - I don't believe that's true.  The real epidemic is ignorance.  And ignorance can be easily cured with knowledge.  No special studies or research needed.      

I'd like to share something that was sent to me by my FB friend Jessica - a fellow warrior mom.  Jessica has three beautiful children.  Emilia, Charlie & Stella.  Charlie has autism.  And Emilia was asked to give a speech at her school - in front of 400 children.  When Jessica shared Emilia's speech with me on Saturday - I was so incredibly moved and I knew I had to share it here.

Autism Awareness is Monday, April 2nd. Autism is a mental disorder that many kids, including my brother have. They aren't gross, or weird, or contagious. They are just like us, but have a hard time learning or communicating. Many people say that autism is a puzzle. They say this because autism is hard to figure out. The color blue represents autism, like pink represents breast cancer. Did you know that the Empire State Building lights up blue in honor of Autism Awareness? Lots of people are working to find a cure for autism. As I said before, Monday is Autism Awareness day, and I would like everyone in the school to wear blue on Monday to represent autism awareness.

Always

Unique

Totally

Intelligent

Sometimes
Mysterious

Emilia's speech will impact the way her classmates think about autism.  Not even 10 years old, and she's making a difference.  I wish there were more Emilia's in the world. 

I've learned so much being The Boy's mother.  Our children can teach us so much, all we need to do is listen.    

Charlie & Emilia - Stella's in the background



Today is World Autism Awareness Day.  But it's also Autism Awareness MONTH.  So if you didn't wear your blue today - you have the rest of the month to show your support.          

My Name is _________ and I am #1in88

This post was inspired by Jess of Diary of a Mom.  She wrote the post - Not Just Numbers, PEOPLE.  (excellent post!) And asked readers to tweet the following - 

“@diaryofamom @autismspeaks Not just numbers, PEOPLE. This is the face of #1in88” with your photo.

This is the photo I tweeted.  And I tweaked my photo for this post.  


I read somewhere that the average person has about 130 Facebook friends.  The new CDC states that about 1 in 88 children has been identified with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD).  (Click HERE for the full CDC report. I have mixed feelings about this.  But that's for another post.)   


Now I'm no math genius but if the statics are true, then you must know someone with autism.  And maybe if we're FB friends, then Norrin is the one that you know.      

April is Autism Awareness Month and I have so much that I want to share.  For now, I'll leave you with this picture of my son Norrin aka The Boy.  He is 6 years old.  He has autism.  He is autistic.  I don't care what caused it.  And I don't want him to be cured.  He doesn't suffer from autism.  And our life is not one to feel sorry for.  I am his mother.  And I love him.


I would love for you to link up a picture of your child here and share it with Jess too.

Here's what to do:

1. Upload a picture of your child picnik.com (site will close on 4/19/12) or quickmeme.com and use the following as your caption:  Hi.  My name is _______.  Not just numbers, PEOPLE. I am #1in88
2. Write a blog post including your child's photo and link back to this post.
3. Link up your post here - it will be up until 4/30/12. 
4.  TWEET “@diaryofamom @autismspeaks Not just numbers, PEOPLE. This is the face of #1in88” and link to your blog post (it must be the post, you're linking here).
5. Visit the blogger before (or as many as you'd like) and tell them how wonderful their child is.
6. Like the blogs that have linked up.  The ones with the most "likes" will win a special prize*.   (I'm still figuring that part out)  

* in order to be eligeble for the prize your post must follow all steps.
* I'm funding the prize part with my own money - more details to follow.  Due to shipping costs, will need to restrict it to US Residents only.