Club Penguin and Online Safety #ItStartsWithYou

Last week I was invited to the 1st ever Club Penguin Safety Summit. Club Penguin is the #1 Virtual World for Kids. Chris Heatherly, VP of Club Penguin, described the virtual world as "the largest playground for kids." With over 200 million penguins, in 90 countries and 6 languages, Club Penguin is the first "social media experience" for kids. 

Not only is Club Penguin a fun place for kids, it's dedicated to keeping them safe. Club Penguin goes through great lengths to keep the space bully free for kids. With over 200 moderators (in 4 locations and 6 languages) and specialized technology filters, Club Penguin has multiple layers of safety features.

At the Safety Summit, I learned how rude and inappropriate language is banned. And I was impressed by the complexity of the filters. For example, a player can say "I'm going to the beach" but cannot say "You're such a beach." Players can chat, however, they are unable to share personal information such as email or phone numbers. The moderators also know to look for signs of online predators within the space.     

As parents we worry about our kids. We want to keep them safe on the playground and online. In another effort to continue and promote online safety, Club Penguin has launched the "It Starts With You" campaign. 

"The question is no longer whether kids should be online, but how to prepare them for a social online world,’ said Heatherly. 'It Starts with You!' is about empowering kids and their parents with the information they need to play an active and educated role in online safety.”

The ‘It Starts with You!’ online safety campaign will include:

• A branded campaign on Disney Channel and Disney’s online networks featuring a safety PSA starring G Hannelius from Disney Channel’s “Dog With A Blog,” the hit comedy series for kids and families.
• An online safety resource center (http://clubpenguin.com/safety) to help kids and parents learn the latest in online safety and empower them to be good digital citizens. The resource center will offer:
• Multilingual safety tips for kids about how to protect their information online and be respectful to others
• Multilingual online safety information and news for parents
• Printable activity sheets to help kids be thoughtful digital citizens
• Online safety PSA starring G Hannelius
• Printable safety pledge for families to take together that encourages communication about online usage and rules.
• Within the world of Club Penguin, an in-game quiz to test players’ knowledge about online safety. Players that successfully complete the quiz will earn an exclusive virtual item for their penguin avatar. 

Today is Safer Internet Day, the purpose is to "to promote safer and more responsible use of online technology and mobile phones, especially amongst children and young people across the world."

Raising a child with autism, bullying is a matter that concerns me. Kids with autism are easy targets and more likely to be bullied. However in recent years, bullying is not only a school yard/playground threat, "cyberbullying has become one of the most prevalent types of bullying that occurs between teens. About 80 percent of all high school students have encountered being bullied in some fashion online." 

I've written about the benefits of video games and kids with special needs. I have seen how it's helped my son. And I'm all for using technology to teach social skills. One day, my son may want to engage in social media. I want him to have the freedom to do so but I want to make sure he is safe. And it's reassuring to know that within Club Penguin, he will be.


Disclaimer: I was invited to the Club Penguin Safety Summit. No monetary compensation was received, all opinions are my own.

images via Disney Interactive    

AW Sunday Review | 7 Steps to Nighttime Dryness

Disclaimer: I was provided with a complimentary copy of  Seven Steps to Nighttime Dryness  and a Dry-Me Enuresis Alarm for review purposes.  The opinions expressed are my own and have not been influenced in any way.

The Boy will be eight years old tomorrow and he still wears a pull up at night. It took us a few years for him to be fully potty trained during the day. I've been holding off night time potty training.

When I was approached by Renee Mercer, MSN, CPNP, the author of Seven Steps to Nighttime Dryness to review a copy of her book and to try the Dry Me Enuresis Alarm - I immediately said yes.

I just finished reading through the book and I think I'm really ready to start. Commitment and consistency are critical during daytime potty training and even more so for nighttime.

What I like about the Seven Steps to Nighttime Dryness is that it helps explain bedwetting and possible factors (including constipation). The book also breaks down the different alarms so that you may pick the one that's best for your child. There's also a weekly progress chart to help keep track. 

While the "7 Steps" is written for "typical" kids, Mercer has a section that goes "Beyond Seven Steps" which addresses special cases including kids with special needs. Mercer assures that if a child has maintained dryness during the day that nighttime dryness is a strong possibility. She goes on to say that: If you have a child with special needs, it is important to understand your goal. And then proceeds to explain various options. 

My goal is to get The Boy to wake up to use the bathroom during the night. And the Seven Steps to Nighttime Dryness has given me the tools and motivation to start the process. 

In the next few weeks, I'll share how we're preparing and our progress with the Dry-Me alarm. 

If you're considering daytime potty training your child, check out my Parents posts: 

• Potty Training Your Autistic Child 
• Nighttime Potty Training Your Autistic Child 

Disclaimer: I was provided with a complimentary copy of  7 Steps to Nighttime Dryness  and a Dry-Me Enuresis Alarm for review purposes.  The opinions expressed are my own and have not been influenced in any way.

No More #FatTalk and Other Things I'm Leaving Behind in 2013

In a few more days 2013 will be over. I am one of those sappy sentimental New Year's fools. If I manage to stay up (which, let's be for real, the older I get the harder it is) I will probably cry reflecting on all the ups and downs of my year. And after I ugly cry, I'll feel grateful to have a clean slate. 

I'll wake up on New Year's Day ready to make grand changes to my lifestyle. I'll eat a little healthier, exercise and put myself to sleep earlier. And then a few days later, I'll be back to my previous year self. I may have great ideas but I have a hard time with follow through.

But I am getting older and I'm old enough to know better. I need to make significant changes to my life. And there are a few things of 2013 that need to be left behind. A new year is a fresh start - it's a reboot button. 

4 Things I'm Leaving Behind in 2013

No More Fat Talk. This on the top of my list. I am notorious for talking about how fat I am. And I use (and think) the words "fat" and "disgusting" about myself way too much.  I've been struggling with my weight for last eight years. I go through spurts of losing 5 pounds and gaining 10. I've put on 20 pounds in the last two years. I stepped on the scale this week and hit 170 pounds. (I'm 5'6.) I used to be a gal who loved to shop and now with every few pounds I gain I find myself dreading stepping into a fitting room. It doesn't feel good having to keep buying bigger sizes but the way I feel about myself when I look in the mirror is so much worse.  

Stop Thinking of Myself as a Student. After five long, stressful years of graduate school, I graduated in June. It took me nearly 15 years to finish my bachelor's degree. I've been a college student for 20 years - all while working full-time. 2014 is my first college-free year. I've had a 'student' mentality for so long. There is a part of me that sees myself as someone just starting out. But I've accomplished a lot, especially over the last 5 years - and I have to own it. I need to stop seeing myself as a creative writing student and start seeing myself as a professional writer.

Babble. I spent 2013 being a Babble Kid Contributor. I loved every second of it. But I've been doing so much, for so long I'm exhausted. And I need a break from it all. I work a lot. I I work all day in an office, then I come and work most nights. More and more, The Boy is starting to notice how much time I spend on my laptop. He'll say "Close the computer and come play with me." And more often than not, I have to say no because I have to work. 

It's ironic that I waited so long to hear those words from him, now that he has them - I am too busy writing to meet his needs. I decided that I needed to scale back on my freelance writing assignments. The Boy needs me more. And I need him just as much. 

I published my last Babble post (a round up of my favorite 8 blog posts) and I'm going to spend the first few weeks of 2014, relaxing and not doing a darn thing except spend time with my family.

Wasting Money/Throwing Away Food. We spend a lot of money on food: at the supermarket, dining out and ordering greasy take-out. It's embarrassing how much time and money I spend at the supermarket buying food, only to throw it away because it's gone bad. It's such a waste of money. I am hoping that with a lighter workload, I can get back to cooking real meals for my family. 

My goals for 2014 are simple: feel better about myself, live a healthier life and have more quality time with my family. I think these are worth the follow through. 

Is Your Special Needs Child Turning Five? #T5Tue

When I started this blog three years ago, I was going through the Turning 5 process. And - not to scare you - it was probably the most stressful two years of my life. The first year, searching for an appropriate placement and the kindergarten year realizing it was a mistake and trying to get The Boy out.

I wanted to write about our experience but Turning 5 isn't something that can be covered in a blog post or two. So I thought I'd start a new series on the blog - Turning 5 Tuesday [#T5Tue]. I'll share tips, resources, information seminars and our personal experience. If you have a specific question, leave it in the comments section and I'll try to answer it. 

If you have  child with special needs who will enter kindergarten in the fall of 2014 - NOW is the time to start the process.

And where should you start? Well if you're in New York City - you should start with talking to a Special Education advisor and Special Needs Advocate. You probably have a lot of questions.     

What kind of elementary program will be right for my child? What are our rights and options?

Educate yourself! Come hear a free presentation with Sarah Birnbaum (Parent Advocate and Special Education Advisor, New York Special Needs Support) on how to:

• Learn about educational options, public and private
• Obtain the best evaluations and guidance
• Find an appropriate kindergarten program
• Understand your legal rights
• Get through the Turning 5 process and create an IEP

Date: Wednesday, September 25 

6:00-8:00pm


Location: Bankstreet College of Education


610 West 112th Street, main floor auditorium


RSVP: nuberto@bankstreet.edu

Date: Wednesday, October 16 

6:00-8:00pm


Location: The SMILE Center


171 Madison Avenue, 5th floor


RSVP: info@smileny.org

Out With The Old

It's Saturday and I'm cleaning out closets and trying to organize. Trying because even though I know it must get done, it's difficult. 

I started with my closet and I don't know why I have such a hard time letting go of clothes that no longer fit. Clothes that have seen better days, clothes that no matter what happens or how much weight I lose I cannot see myself wearing ever again.

 As I was sorting through a bin of clothes, I came across two pairs of maternity jeans - one pair still had the tags. I bought them during my second pregnancy. And then after I lost the baby, I didn't have the heart to give the jeans away. I was hoping that I'd need them again. That was three years ago. I haven't needed them. They've just been taking up space. And they remind me of a time when I was hopeful.

I decided it was time to let them go.

And the maternity jeans that I never got a chance to wear was put in the pile of size 4s. Because chances are, I'll never be a size 4 again. And I'll probably never be pregnant again. I have't lost hope. I'm trying to be realistic. And I'm okay with that. 

I threw away shoes that hurt my feet. Shoes that had collected too much dust. And I tossed out dresses that had seen exciting Saturday nights. My Saturday nights are spent at home or with The Boy - those dresses were just taking up space.   

And then it was time for The Boy's room.

Last night The Husband went to Ikea to buy The Boy a new desk. It was time. Long over due, if you want to know the truth. 

Today The Husband assembled The Boy's new desk. I folded The Boy's table and chairs. We bought them five years ago, shortly after The By was diagnosed with autism. The ABA therapist said she needed a table and chairs to work.

Folding up that table and chairs was tough. I don't know why but it was. Well, I know why. Back then we believed that if we did everything the therapist suggested, The Boy would be okay. He'd be "fixed." Today I folded them up knowing - and accepting - that there's no quick fix for autism. There's no coat of paint to calm or a table and chairs to cure. I know that now. I'm okay with that. I have accepted that.

But that doesn't mean, it doesn't hurt. And it doesn't mean I've lost hope.  

Over the last five years I've watched The Boy's progress with awe. It was at that table, that I heard The Boy say his first word and complete his first puzzle. I can't even count the hours of time spent at that table. It was at that table that I got my first glimpse of hope. 

But The Boy is going to be eight in a few months. He's too big for that table. It's time for us to move on. And I look forward to all the new things The Boy will accomplish at his new desk.

It is time for a new beginning. For The Boy and for me.

Can an Autism Mom Have It All? (My Response to Time Magazine Article: The Childfree Life)

By now you've seen this Time cover. The taunting photo of a couple sans kids sprawled out on the beach, hands over head, all smug and relaxed because their childfree life allows them to have it all.

The article explores the lives of childless women and couples. And ever since it's publication, the blogosphere has been all a buzz over it. 

Babble blogger Jeannette Kaplun wrote an excellent post in response: 

Being a parent has been the best choice for me, but it isn’t necessarily for everybody. That’s why it didn’t surprise me at all to see this week’s TIME cover, which looks at the choice more American couples are making — to purposefully live their lives without children. I don’t think that choosing to not be a mother is selfish. I actually think that it can do the world a ton of good. 

I agree with Jeannette, I believe in a woman's right to choose. I believe that not all women are supposed to be mothers. I believe that motherhood was the best thing that happened to me (even though it wasn't exactly in my life plan).

And I feel sorry for the women in the Time article. Not sorry that they don't have children - sorry that they feel the need to justify their reasons why they don't have/want children. 

Still the great debate continues. Can we or can't we have it all. And what does having it all really mean? Does 'all' even matter? 

We don't have to look to a magazine cover to see women who appear to have it all - all we have to do is log on to Facebook or Pinterest. Social media allows us to peer into the window of other women's lives and wonder how do they do it? They either have great jobs or they're stay-at-home moms or they have the best of both worlds - they are work-at-home moms. They live in the right neighborhoods, have the 'perfect' kids or the 'perfect' partner. They drive the nice car and eat the right foods. Everything matches and they're exactly the size they're supposed to be. Their hair and nails are always done. They wear designer clothes that I can't pronounce. They go on date nights, girls night out and romantic weekend getaways. Their homes are out of the pages of a Pottery Barn catalog - they can light candles without worrying about a kid setting themselves on fire. They craft and scrapbook and bake their own bread and do all sorts of amazing things with their kids that make me feel like a slacker mom. Their kids are on the honor roll, have dates to prom and get scholarships to college. They have empty nest syndrome, enjoy their retirement and/or surrounded by adorable grandchildren.

Time magazine makes me wonder: what about autism parents? Do we, can we or will we ever have it all?

I know many mothers who quit their jobs to stay home with their kids. Some autism moms home school. And when they don't, they wonder if they should. 

We spend hours researching, reviewing, learning about autism, therapies, medications and legal rights. We can easily spend more time on the phone fighting with insurance companies than chatting with our BFFs. We constantly worry about our kids and their future. Will they have friends? Will they fall in love? Have a job? Live independently? We want nothing more than to be there for our child, to live forever or secretly hope to outlive our child by a day (or less).

What about an autism mom like me?

I work (full-time outside of the home) because I have to and The Boy goes to a school I had to fight to get him into. As an autism mom, I am exhausted and overwhelmed. There isn't a night when I don't lay awake in my bed worrying over all the What Ifs and Will Hes. 

I look at the Time cover and I wonder if I will ever lay like that on a beach with The Husband. Our date nights are so few and far between - will a romantic weekend getaway ever be a possibility? Will we be able to relax and enjoy our golden years? Will we ever have a 'childfree' life even after our child grows up?   

I don't know. Honestly? The not knowing makes me sad.  

My life is far from perfect. I have more than my fair share of stress, disappointment and heartache. By some women's standards, I don't have it all. Not many women would trade their sexy heels to step into my sensible flats. And that's okay because I wouldn't trade in my flats for their heels either. 

So when I read a headline like When having it all means not having children - I have to check myself and take inventory of what I do have.

I have a husband who adores me and genuinely supports me in every way.

I have a beautiful boy who lights up my world even on my darkest day.

I have parents, family and friends who accept The Boy just as he is.

I have a job that pays the bills (and provides health insurance) and a few freelance gigs that keep me sane.

I have a comfortable apartment that's a size I can manage to keep clean. We have a car that can get us from point a to point b. And I have a few cute pair of sensible flats.  

I never wanted to be a mother. It wasn't something I dreamed about or planned for. Motherhood, for me, just happened. But being a mother - being The Boy's mother - has given me more than I could have ever imagined. I don't have many material things but I have the things that matter most. I don't have to have it all. Because I'm happy with what I have right now. What I have is more than enough. 

Going Out To Eat When Your Kid Has Autism

Julia Child once said, “Dining with one’s friends and beloved family is certainly one of life’s primal and most innocent delights, one that is both soul-satisfying and eternal.” Julia may be right but dining out with a special needs kid may not be so delightful.

The years before and after my son, Norrin, was diagnosed with autism, dining out was practically impossible. I couldn’t understand how some families could make it look so easy, when we were having such a difficult time.

Once I started to understand the diagnosis and after working with different therapists, I learned that things that come so easily for others, are challenging for children with autism. There were several socialization scenarios Norrin needed to be taught – including dining out in public. I realized that I didn’t want to keep Norrin from having that social experience.

To read how we got Norrin used to dining out, check out my post on Babble: Dining Out with Special Needs Kids - http://www.babble.com/kid/dining-out-with-special-needs-kids/

AND if you'd like to venture out to eat with your special needs kid but not sure where to go,  check out our 6 favorite KID-FRIENDLY Restaurants - http://www.babble.com/kid/kids-welcome-our-6-favorite-kid-friendly-restaurants/

Chicken Soup for the Soul: Raising Kids on the Spectrum

Chicken Soup for the Soul: Raising Kids with Autism

101 Inspirational Stories for Parents of Children with Autism and Asperger's

Edited by Dr. Rebecca Landa of the Kennedy Krieger Institute, Mary Beth Marsden, Nancy Burrows and Amy Newark

I've been a fan of the Chicken Soup books for years and I was so excited to see one for autism parents. Five years ago, when my son was diagnosed with autism - this is the book I would have wanted to read. And I am so grateful that this is available now. 

What I love about this book is that the stories are divided in sections: Challenges, Finding the Funny, School and many more. The stories are short and easily digestible - you don't have to read this book in any kind of order. You can go to a section for a daily dose of inspiration.

I read this book during my commute to and from work - I found myself choking back tears, laughing out loud and filled with hope. 

Two of my favorite stories were "Don't Stop Believing" by Liane Kupferber Carter - where she talks about what it took for her son to be able to get a hair cut and "Friendships" by Dawn Hentrich - a brutally honest post about the months after a diagnosis. Some of my other favorite autism writers/bloggers are also featured: Jean Winegardner, Laura Shumaker, Jennifer Bush and Leigh Merryday.    

There is something in this book for everyone. Whether your kid was diagnosed yesterday or ten years ago - you will see yourself within the pages of this book.

To read an excerpt or place an order, please visit www.chickensoup.com

Disclaimer: I was provided with a complimentary copy of Raising Kids on the Spectrum, 

all opinions are my own and have not been influenced in any way.

Are We Ready to Adopt a Child?

When I was eleven years old my parents decided to open our home to a foster child. I will never forget the first and only newborn baby that entered our lives. We called him “CJ” and he was five days old. He was tiny and plump, with thick ink black hair.

CJ changed the whole dynamic of our home; I saw a side of my mother I had never seen before. I remember coming home from school hearing my mother singing, laughing, fussing over this little baby that needed her in a way my brother and I no longer did. Even my father and brother who rarely showed affection, enjoyed CJ’s company.

Four days later, CJ’s paternal grandmother decided she would be his guardian and CJ was gone.

It was the first time I saw my mother cry. In only four days CJ made us all fall in love. And more than two decades later, I still think of him.

A few months after CJ left, a social worker rang our bell one rainy Tuesday night with a wobbly toddler wearing a yellow and white sweatsuit. Her name was Jennifer. We were cautious at first, not wanting to get too attached. But it didn’t take long for Jennifer to feel like she was part of our family. And we fell in love with her as easily as we did with CJ. Years later when Jennifer was finally eligible for adoption, we didn’t even have to think about it. 

In these last few months, I’ve been considering adopting a child of my own. 

Read the rest click on the link -->  Things to Consider When Thinking of Adoption

Do You Remember Your 1st Day of Kindergarten?

April 21, is Kindergarten Day – the celebratory birthday of Friedrich Froebe – the man who started the first kindergarten in 1837.

Kindergarten is a major milestone for children and their parents. The first day of kindergarten is one most don’t forget.

I remember my first day of kindergarten. My mother put me on the school bus. It was the first time I was separated from my mother.

I don’t remember crying. I don’t remember my mother crying. Maybe she did after the bus pulled away, though I very much doubt it. It was a different time then.

Besides, when my mother put me on the bus, she knew I’d come home and tell her every detail of my day.

I loved kindergarten. I still remember my teacher’s name: Ms. Kaplan. I loved the bus. Driving through different neighborhoods, singing songs, laughing with friends.

It was one of the happiest school years of my life.

That was a long, long, long time ago.

I will never forget my son, Norrin’s, first day of kindergarten. 

Read the rest on Babble click the link -->  http://bit.ly/15xZjlR

You Are Not Alone

When You Know One Special Needs Mom

on Parents.com/ToTheMax 

To read click - HERE

The Many Hats of an Autism Mom

Being an autism mom isn't easy. There are too many hats to wear. And only one woman to wear them. I am: teacher, therapist, chef, chauffeur, caregiver, provider, money manager, secretary, social worker, translator and lawyer.  

You get the point.

But there's one hat in particular, I wish I could where more often.

After The Boy was diagnosed with autism, we started working with an ABA therapist. Once a week, the therapist would give us homework. Nothing major, just activities for us to work on when she wasn't around.

One of our assignments was to read Brown Bear, Brown Bear - three times a day. As a working mom, doing anything three times a day with my son was difficult. But I made the time. We woke up a few minutes earlier and I read Brown Bear at breakfast. When I come home from work, I read it before dinner. And at bedtime, I read it again.

But I wasn't just reading the book, I was pointing at pictures. Taking his fingers and helping him point. Asking questions on each page and answering them myself because he didn't have any language. 

I was doing this three times a day, every day for months. Months. The same book.

Now, I'm a reader and I was reading to The Boy since he was in the womb. And after he was born, I loved rocking him to sleep with a good book. But suddenly, this assignment took our bonding time and turned it into work.

Read the rest over on Babble Kid - HERE.

Faith Is...

Today is Martin Luther King Day and the 2nd inauguration of our President. It's a day of inspiration, hope and faith. It's a day to reflect and to look ahead.

I'm not a religious person. But that's not to say I do not have faith. There have been times in these last few years, I've had to rely on faith alone. It's the thing that's kept me going - especially in my darkest moments. 

Yesterday The Boy turned seven. Birthdays are always bittersweet.  While we celebrate another year, it's also a reminder. And with every year, the gap between typical and atypical grows wider. 

Every year, it's a little harder to see the whole staircase.

And I have to remember how far The Boy's come. I think of the milestones that keep me going on the days when I think I can't take another step.

I think of that Spring day almost five years ago when I first heard the words: your son has autism. At the time The Boy had no language, he couldn't point or clap or give me kiss. The staircase was impossible to see.

And then slowly, The Boy started to make progress and it became easier to take steps - even though I still couldn't see the whole staircase. I had faith.

I continue to have faith.

I don't know what the future holds for The Boy. I don't know even what the future holds for me. But I do know that The Boy will make progress. That while the gap between typical and atypical may not fully close, The Boy will continue to flourish. His language will continue to develop. He will become independent enough to manage his day to day needs. He will continue to teach me, surprise me and inspire me.

I don't need to see the whole staircase to know that. I don't even need to see a single step. I will continue to walk with The Boy hand in hand up the (at times, invisible) staircase until he is ready to take his first steps on his own. 

The Autism House Rules

The rules are...there ain't no rules.

I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. That's a line from Grease. If you have never heard of Grease and have no idea what I'm referring to, please refrain from letting me know in the comments. It will only make me feel old.

So...back to "the house rules."

The Boy has been having a tough time in school lately. Truth be told, he's having a tough time at home too. There's been a lot of changes since September and it's tough to know what he understands and what he doesn't.

And he's exhibiting behaviors. And being non-compliant. I am grateful he is in a good place where his teachers understand him and want to help him rather than writing him off as a "bad" kid who they are not willing to tolerate.

That's something I've been struggling with lately. We had an unpleasant experience a few months ago at a friends home. And we were kicked out (yes, literally yelled at to "Get Out!" and escorted to the the door) due to The Boy's "intolerable" behavior. But I'm not really ready to talk about that yet...

The other day, The Boy's teacher wrote in the communication notebook that since the Sandy break, The Boy has been acting out, getting upset, not listening and she shared the classroom rules with me. She said that when The Boy is not compliant, she goes over the class rules with him and redirects him. She says it helps.

Since then, I've been going over the rules with him and I decided to make up our own house rules and post them around our little apartment.

What rules do you set in your house?

How do you reinforce them? 

Please. This mom needs to know.   

 

I'm Stranded in Texas, My Heart is in New York #Hurricane Sandy

It's been rough couple of days - the mom guilt is kicking in full force. I think I've cried all over Texas. I want to be with The Boy right now. And I can't. I am stranded in Houston, TX. My flights have been cancelled...

And I'm glued to CNN watching the news.

There is so much I want to say about the excitement of LATISM'12. How happy I am to have won an award. How grateful I am for everyone's support...how inspired I feel by being surrounded by so many amazing Latinos.

But right now - I just can't. I'm thinking of my family and friends in New York and all over the east coast. Stay safe. I'm praying for you and love you. If it's one thing I love about my city is how resilient we are. How we have the ability to come together in moments of crisis. We will be okay. We can get through this.

Please STAY SAFE. Stay where you are. Stay off the roads. Listen to the instructions of the Mayor and Governor.

Hopefully I will be home soon.

Thank you to all my friends in the blogging community - especially, Juan and Ariana (my new Houston friends) - your hospitality and generosity will never be forgotten.

There are a few I want to thank personally but I know you do not want to be thanked publicly. Please know, I am extremely moved by your words and support.

It's Not Okay To Laugh At Him

I am not the kind of mother who can take their kid to the park and relax on a bench, reading a book or chatting with other parents, watching from a distance.

No, I'm right on the front lines. Dodging screaming sweaty kids, while watching out for The Boy. And occasionally, pushing another kid on the swing or helping them navigate the playground equipment and sometimes even cheering them on because they look so proud when they do something cool and look so bummed that their parents aren't paying attention.

Sometimes, I watch other kids staring at The Boy. The older he is getting, the more frequent it's become. I am working up the courage to address the starers.

But today was a playground first. Two little girls (sisters) laughed at The Boy.  

They were between seven and nine years old. The first time it happened, I approached one of the girls who I overheard talking about The Boy. She said something about not wanting to play near him because he was making funny noises. I tried to explain that Norrin has trouble talking and makes noises when he gets excited. But since had no interest in playing with the girls, I did not bother to make introductions.

Moments later, the sisters were playing on the merry-go-round when The Boy ran and joined them. The girls were having trouble making it go around and I was willing to help since The Boy was there.  (The girls parents were sitting on a nearby bench.) As I walked over, I heard the girls giggling and the girl I had spoken to was repeating what I was saying and laughing. When she saw me, she covered her mouth but she was still laughing at The Boy.  So was her sister. 

I gave the merry-go-round a push. But the girls kept laughing, staring at The Boy. Not really caring that I was there or that The Boy could see them.

And The Boy?

Blissfully unaware and unbothered that these girls were blatantly laughing at him.

But I was aware. And I was bothered. 

Because The Boy is barely seven. These girls slightly older than him. And they are laughing. What will happen when The Boy is twelve, fifteen, nineteen? Will he be pushed around, cursed out or beat up? Will it bother him then?

I was bothered because The Boy had not bothered them in any possible way. He did not taunt them or push them out of the way. He did not deserve to be laughed at.   

I stopped the ride, grabbed The Boy by the hand and told him we were going to another playground.

I wanted to scream at those girls for laughing.  I wanted to ask them how they would feel if I started laughing at them because of something they did. I wanted to yell at their parents, who had not bothered to look up a single time.

I've been angry ever since. 

It is not okay to laugh at The Boy.  

It is not okay to laugh at anyone for being different. That's how bullying begins.

I should have never left the playground. I should have stayed and stood up for The Boy. I should have reminded the girls that it's never nice to laugh at someone who is different. I should have gone up to the parents and explained the situation.

Why should I have to accept except it as kids just being kids? 

Why is bullying, the kind of "typical" behavior that's acceptable and The Boy's "atypical" behaviors not?

How I Tackle Parenting's Messes & Stresses

I used to be a squeamish kind of gal.

Before becoming a mom, I had never spit on my hand to wipe a face.  I never used an article of (my own) clothing to wipe a nose or mouth.  I never cupped puke in my hand (to keep it from spilling on the floor) or had poop on my arm.
  
If you're not a mom and reading this - it's okay to be grossed out.  If you are a mom and reading this, you'll probably laugh because you can relate.

I don't think any of the parenting books I read prepared me for how messy babies/kids could be.  Or how stressful dealing with messes can be.

Because messes are often unpredictable.  A mess can happen anywhere and at anytime.  A mess could care less if you're in the middle of dinner or out shopping.   

So how do I tackle a parenting mess without stress?

I don't stress.  Or at least, I try really hard not to.  Raising a six year old autistic boy (who still isn't night time potty trained), I have my fair share of messes.  I try to get through messy situations with an act first and laugh later attitude.  I tackle the mess as quickly and calmly as possible.  Because if I stress the mess, The Boy will become stressed.  And a stressed out kid, in the middle of a mess is the last thing I want.


Then long after the mess is cleaned up and done - I can laugh about it.  Because poop in the tub filled with water and toys is sort of hilarious.  (If you have yet to experience this new mommies - just you wait.  It happens.  I poop you not.)  

And just as important as how to tackle mess, is what you use to tackle it.     

So I'm excited to tell you about Huggies new and improved products designed to withstand the real life challenges of parenting:  Huggies Snug Dry Diapers and Huggies Wipes. 

Huggies encourages parents to try the new and improved Huggies Diapers and Wipes by putting Huggies to the test on Facebook!  Go to the Huggies Latino Facebook Page and share your stories about  Huggies for a chance to win a fully-stocked Huggies diaper bag.

And to help spread the word about this fun campaign, Huggies has collaborated with Poncho de Anda and Lina Amashta to put Huggies to the test during life’s stresses and messes.

So you tell me - How DO YOU tackle parenting messes & stresses?

*This is a sponsored post in collaboration with Latina Bloggers Connect and Huggies.  All thoughts are my own.   

I Need To Live For As Long As I Can: #ChooseSkinHealth

Having a child with autism gives me this sense of urgency to take better care of myself.  Because while I know it's impossible to live forever - I want to be healthy and live for as long as I can.  


I really started to think about immortality on the day my mother told me she had skin cancer  (melanoma).  For years she had a dark growth on the back of her ear that kept getting bigger and bigger.  


My mother said the words like it was no big deal.  But I knew she was worried.  And she was playing it off because she didn't want me to worry.   


The thought of losing my mother.  The thought of The Boy losing his grandmother - scared me.  


Luckily once removed, she was fine.  But it made me think.  


My father would be described as trigueño (olive skinned) and he spent many summers, shirtless, strutting up and down beach boardwalks, soaking up the sun.  As for my mother - her childhood nickname was leche because her skin was as white as milk.  In all of my years - I had never, not once, seen either of my parents apply any kind of sun block.  



And it made me think of my younger years.  Laying out at the beach slathering on baby oil mixed with a splash of iodine or cola.  Not smart at all.     

One American dies of melanoma almost every hour, and the number of cases is increasing in the Latino community. However, many people are still ignoring the serious repercussions of exposing their skin to UVA and UVB radiation without protection by going to tanning salons, sun bathing and not using sunscreen when out for long periods of time. It's also been noted that compared to Caucasian women, fewer Hispanic women believe it's important to wear sunscreen daily and are under the impression that darker skin is at low risk for melanoma.

 As a mom, I've made sure The Boy is protected from the sun, lathered with lotion and skin covered.  While often neglecting my own skin.  


I can't reverse the skin damage I've done but I can learn from my mistakes and take better care of my skin all year round.  That's why I'm excited to team up with Neutrogena and help promote their Choose Skin Health Campaign.  Because, I know I've taken my skin for granted and I don't want The Boy to do the same.   

I need to take care of MY skin, 
the way I take care of HIS skin.  

Below are a few helpful tips:  

• Try to avoid peak sun hours if possible, especially between 10 AM and 4 PM.
• Avoid tanning and UV tanning booths.  (I don't know about you but that NJ tanning mom has me freaked out.) 
• Always wear a sunscreen.  ALWAYS.  All year long. 
• Dermatologists recommend a sunscreen with an SPF of 30 or higher every day. Apply 1 ounce (2 tablespoons) of sunscreen to your entire body 30 minutes before going outside.

For more Choose Skin Health info and FREE cancer skin screening locations (across the country) please click HERE and/or "Like" the Choose Skin Health Facebook Page.

I searched New York State/City area and there are several locations within New York City.  

I remember when my mother finally got tested for skin cancer.  Thinking back I realize she may have waited so long  to have it checked was because my parents didn't have health care.  (My father had lost his job and well...unemployment and health care are tricky things.)      

With so many still unemployed and ever changing health care rates, these free skin cancer screenings could save so many lives.  Even if you have medical insurance - make an appointment with your doctor and/or dermatologist and have yourself examined.  

Whether you're a parent or not.  Whether you're a special needs parent or not.  We all have one life to live.  Let's live it to the fullest, longest and healthiest.    

   

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Disclosure:  This is a compensated post and in collaboration with Neutrogena and Latina Bloggers Connect.  All stories and opinions are my own.