8 Social Media Goals for 2014

It's the first day of 2014. Every few months or so I contemplate the point of my blog. One of my New Year Resolutions is to scale back on my work load. But that doesn't mean I'm ready to give up blogging. While some things are better left behind in 2013, there is so much to look forward to in 2014. 

My 8 Social Media Goals

Get a professional headshot. Because my iPhone selfie can no longer cut it. This has to be at the top of my list. I'm going to make this a priority in the near future. After three years of blogging, I think it's time.

Create an About Me page. I honestly never thought about creating one until a friend suggested it's something all bloggers should do. And since my friend is pretty successful, I'll heed her advice.

Pin Like a Mad Woman. I don't spend much time on Pinterest but when I'm on it, I like it. And I like having all my favorite things in one place. Like today, I started a "1st Time Couponer" Pin Board. I am determined to learn how to coupon, I'm hoping my coupon blogger friends will have some advice for me. 

Update my Linked In Profile. More advice from another successful blogger. 

Read More. Last year I was so busy, I lost track of some of my favorite blogs. It's impossible to catch up but I want to make time to read the bloggers I love and discover some new ones.

Say No. I almost always say yes to things. Even to the things I don't have time to do. Last month I said no to a major opportunity. After I weighed the pros and cons, I realized it wasn't something that would make me or break me. As a mom who works full-time outside of the home (in a field completely unrelated to blogging) and being a niche blog - I have to be super selective to what I say yes to. Saying no felt good, I felt like I was in control. I only want to do things I truly want to do, otherwise - what's the point? 

Make dates to meet on line friends in real life. I have met so many wonderful women through blogging and many of them are in NYC. I shouldn't have to wait until a blog conference in another state to see them. I want to be more proactive in making dates to meet. 

Unplug. After a year of writing for Babble, I decided it was time to leave. I was working so much on blogging that it was hard to keep up with everything. I was tired of juggling. It feels good knowing I have lightened my work load but that doesn't mean I'm ready to quit altogether. I love writing and sharing our story. But I also know I want to spend less time on line and more time in real life. 

What are your social media goals for the new year? 

My Best Moments of 2013 on Instagram | #photostatigram #memostatigram

It's the last day of 2013! I have loved seeing everyone's #Memostatigrams but for some reason, I can't share mine. I think it's because I have an iPhone 4. Who knows? I'm not tech savvy. But I am able to share a photo of my best Instagram photos in other ways...

60: The day I handed in my thesis. Read about it here - So Now What and 10 Things I'm Going To Do Now That I'm Done with Graduate School

58: The morning I graduated. Read about it here - Graduation

52: The day we ran for Autism Speaks; my very first 5K. Read about here - 4 Miles of Hope

47: My beautiful custom made Autism Awareness Toms by Pear Mama

47: The Boy…simply being The Boy. Happy.

2013 has been good to me. But I know... 

And of course, after I hit publish on this I figured out how to upload my video to You Tube.

No More #FatTalk and Other Things I'm Leaving Behind in 2013

In a few more days 2013 will be over. I am one of those sappy sentimental New Year's fools. If I manage to stay up (which, let's be for real, the older I get the harder it is) I will probably cry reflecting on all the ups and downs of my year. And after I ugly cry, I'll feel grateful to have a clean slate. 

I'll wake up on New Year's Day ready to make grand changes to my lifestyle. I'll eat a little healthier, exercise and put myself to sleep earlier. And then a few days later, I'll be back to my previous year self. I may have great ideas but I have a hard time with follow through.

But I am getting older and I'm old enough to know better. I need to make significant changes to my life. And there are a few things of 2013 that need to be left behind. A new year is a fresh start - it's a reboot button. 

4 Things I'm Leaving Behind in 2013

No More Fat Talk. This on the top of my list. I am notorious for talking about how fat I am. And I use (and think) the words "fat" and "disgusting" about myself way too much.  I've been struggling with my weight for last eight years. I go through spurts of losing 5 pounds and gaining 10. I've put on 20 pounds in the last two years. I stepped on the scale this week and hit 170 pounds. (I'm 5'6.) I used to be a gal who loved to shop and now with every few pounds I gain I find myself dreading stepping into a fitting room. It doesn't feel good having to keep buying bigger sizes but the way I feel about myself when I look in the mirror is so much worse.  

Stop Thinking of Myself as a Student. After five long, stressful years of graduate school, I graduated in June. It took me nearly 15 years to finish my bachelor's degree. I've been a college student for 20 years - all while working full-time. 2014 is my first college-free year. I've had a 'student' mentality for so long. There is a part of me that sees myself as someone just starting out. But I've accomplished a lot, especially over the last 5 years - and I have to own it. I need to stop seeing myself as a creative writing student and start seeing myself as a professional writer.

Babble. I spent 2013 being a Babble Kid Contributor. I loved every second of it. But I've been doing so much, for so long I'm exhausted. And I need a break from it all. I work a lot. I I work all day in an office, then I come and work most nights. More and more, The Boy is starting to notice how much time I spend on my laptop. He'll say "Close the computer and come play with me." And more often than not, I have to say no because I have to work. 

It's ironic that I waited so long to hear those words from him, now that he has them - I am too busy writing to meet his needs. I decided that I needed to scale back on my freelance writing assignments. The Boy needs me more. And I need him just as much. 

I published my last Babble post (a round up of my favorite 8 blog posts) and I'm going to spend the first few weeks of 2014, relaxing and not doing a darn thing except spend time with my family.

Wasting Money/Throwing Away Food. We spend a lot of money on food: at the supermarket, dining out and ordering greasy take-out. It's embarrassing how much time and money I spend at the supermarket buying food, only to throw it away because it's gone bad. It's such a waste of money. I am hoping that with a lighter workload, I can get back to cooking real meals for my family. 

My goals for 2014 are simple: feel better about myself, live a healthier life and have more quality time with my family. I think these are worth the follow through. 

I Am Overweight

I took this screen shot of my Wii image last January. And six months before, I was lighter. Emotionally and psychically. In the last two years I have gained nearly 20 pounds. I call it The Weight of Autism.  

And last night I stepped on the scale. I have passed the 160 pound mark.

I am overweight. I am far from in shape. And I am not happy. It's hard getting dressed in the morning because I try on several outfits trying to conceal my weight - some days are more successful than others. The thought of going someplace nice depresses me because even though I have closet full of clothes, the items I want to wear don't fit. And I can't stand going shopping especially when I have to keep buying bigger sizes. Nothing fits comfortably anymore and it makes me incredibly self conscious.

I know that if I don't do something about it, I will keep gaining weight.

I hate New Year resolutions. I never keep them. But this isn't about a resolution. It's about making a life style change. It's about making better choices. It's about being healthier. Because The Boy needs me to be.


For my other life style changes check out my post on Parents.com - Resolutions For An Autism Parent  

  

Resolutions for the Special Needs Parent

Everyone makes New Year Resolutions.  Some are broken ten minutes after midnight.  Some are kept all year round.  We're on day 5 of the New Year.  But a resolution can happen any day of the year.  I've made a few personal resolutions - save money, lose weight, exercise - though I'm trying to think of them as lifestyle changes.  But I've also made some parental resolutions.  Some are reminders to keep doing what we've been doing.  And a few are things that we still need to work on. They are realistic and absolutely attainable.


Make Peace with Autism: An autism diagnosis isn't the end of your child's life.  I know "your child has autism" are not the words any parent wants to hear.  They certainly weren't the words we wanted to hear.  But we heard them.  And we didn't ignore the diagnosis.  We faced it.  It wasn't easy then and it's not easy now - almost 4 years later.  We went through a "mourning" period - which is natural.  But we learned to make peace with autism.  And once we made peace with it, we were able to move forward.     

Listen: There are so many books on autism. On diet, methodology, advocacy, memoir, self-help.  Books written by parents, educators, doctors and adults (on the spectrum).  But it's impossible to read every single book.  My best resource has always been talking to other parents.  There is always something to learn from the experiences of others.  I especially like talking to parents with children a few years older than The Boy.  So listen to what other parents are saying about autism.  Go to your local support group.  Introduce yourself to a parent at the next PTA meeting or while you're in the waiting room of a doctors/therapists office.  Ask questions.  Twitter & Facebook are also great places to start.         

Teach:  There are so many generalizations and misconceptions about autism.  So many things that people don't know or understand.  In order for people to accept, they need to understand.  Be the teacher in your family, circle of friends and community.  If you read something interesting, pass the information on to a friend, teacher or therapist.  Some of the things that have been of the most value to me, have been passed on by others. 

Take a Time Out:  When you are the parent of a special needs child, it's really easy to lose yourself.  It's easy to to go months, years even, without a haircut or a manicure or massage.  Or a date with your spouse.  Or out shopping with a friend.  It's okay to take time out for yourself.  It's okay to take a few minutes a day, a few hours a week or one day a month to do something just for you - without any guilt.  Do something that will make you feel good, something that has absolutely nothing to do with being a parent or special needs children. (Earlier this week, I took time to give myself a manicure and pedicure, something as silly as painting my nails made me feel better.  Hoping I can keep this up.)               

Be Realistic:  Many believe that autistics (or people with autism, whichever your prefer) want to be left alone, that they don't need or want friends.  This is not always the case.  The Boy may never be the most popular kid (who knows? I could be wrong!) but I know that he does not want complete isolation.  The Boy doesn't do well in large groups but I know when its him and another child, The Boy tries to play.  That is what we focus on.  One on one peer relationships.    

Recognize: Parents - of typical or atypical children - often look to other children as a measure.  And we are all guilty of the "But that kid does it, why can't mine?"  The IEP and evaluation reports makes this especially challenging because it focuses on weaknesses.  I had to learn to recognize all the things that The Boy has achieved.  Even the smallest thing - like coloring within the lines or putting on socks independently.   

Let go:  We all have expectations of what our children are supposed to be.  No one expects a diagnosis of any kind.  And after a diagnosis comes fear, doubt, anger and worry. Let go of all of that.  The diagnosis is out of your control.  How you handle the diagnosis - is not.  So let go and let your child be.  They will surprise you.  The Boy surprises me every day.

What are your resolutions?