Moms Defying Gravity

If you’ve never met an autism parent before, one thing you need to know about them is this: when they see a need, they work to fill the void.

Two moms filling the void in their neighborhood are Alysia Butler and Tina Perriello. Recently, they created SenseAbility Gym - a non profit parent led sensory gym for special needs kids. 

I've been following Alysia Butler's blog - Try Defying Gravity - every since I started blogging two years. And I had the pleasure of meeting her while at BlogHer12. 

Anyway...I had the opportunity to pick her brain regarding her latest venture.

*** 

AW: You wrote in that starting SenseAbility was something you had to do? Why?

AB: There were two reasons why we felt that we really needed to do this. First was selfish. I have three boys, my youngest two are both on the autism spectrum. It's my middle guy who needs the sensory integration supports. In school, he has a "sensory diet" built into his day - meaning he takes breaks from the classroom when it becomes too loud or overstimulating for him, he'll jump on a trampoline when he's having a hard time sitting, he has a weighted lap pad that he actually sits *on* to help him be comfortable at circle time, and around his chair at his desk he has Therabands to exercise his legs while he does his work. All of these activities help him in the classroom.

At home, we don't have the space or the money to have all the equipment that he uses at school to help him calm his body. When we attended some open sensory gym times at local OT clinics, I could see how much it helped him feel more comfortable in his own skin. And how much happier he was. I wanted to have that smile last forever. By opening our own gym, I could do that.

Stemming from that, at those open sensory gyms we saw how happy all the other kids there were as well. We watched the parents interact with their children in such a warm and accepting way. No one there cared if another child was melting down, or spinning, or making eye contact. We were all there together. There were no stares. Only support. Again, we knew we needed something like that in our area. Even to get to an OT clinic is a far drive. This was something our community was missing and we knew we had to fill that void.


AW: What do you hope SenseAbility will do for your community?

AB: We really believe that SenseAbility Gym can become an area resource and meeting place for families with special needs children. Our goal is to create a community where its members feel welcomed and supported, where parents and children can go to socialize with other families who share similar challenges. The environment will be one that recognizes that all special needs children are different and that all learning styles, personalities, and abilities are welcome.

Our area is already incredibly welcoming and inclusive. We have very strong autism resource centers and foundations that support families like mine. This will be another piece of that support system.

AW: Starting a non-profit is no easy task, especially when resources are limited. Any tips on how to make the process easier?

AB: Starting a non-profit is hard, very hard. There were definitely moments along the way when we questioned why we were doing it this way. But we knew we couldn't do this as a for-profit venture because of the very nature of our beliefs and mission. Our goal is to reach as many families as we can who can't afford the type of equipment we will have in the gym.

Our best advice is to find people to help you. My late father used to tell me all the time to "use your resources". He would say that it's called networking, not using. He would remind me that I would help someone else if they asked, so why shouldn't I ask for their help?
 
A lot of times, we don't want to ask someone to help us because we don't want them to feel like we're using them. But people will say no if they don't want to help.
 
No one said no to us. We relied on family, friends and the kindness of strangers to help us. We had people review our materials to make sure they were in order. Neighbors took their personal time out of their evenings to walk us through the steps. We connected with friends who connected with friends. When you believe in your project, people will want to come help you and support you. 

Most importantly, though, is to do your homework. Understand your state's rules and laws around what forms you need to file and when. Make sure you aren't breaking any laws that you didn't know existed. Have a lawyer review your materials a few times.

And breathe when you take that leap of faith that it will all work out. Because in time, it will.

***

Alysia's blog is called Try Defying Gravity after the song in the Broadway musical Wicked. With moms like Alysia and Tina there is no try - they are defying gravity.

For more about Alysia and Tina's amazing fundraiser for SenseAbility, check out my Parents.com - click HERE

To read more about their plans, click HERE.

To make their dream a reality, click HERE.

I Can't Believe I'm Going to BlogHer! #BlogHer12Newbie

In two days, I will be at the Annual BlogHer Conference  and I'm sort of freaking out.  

Technically BlogHer will be my third conference.  Remember back in April I was invited to speak at Hispanicize and then in May I had the honor of being named one of the Top Blogueras and invited to The White House.  

Don't get me wrong, I was nervous then too.  But Hispanicize, I had to travel to Miami.  It was my first big trip away from The Boy and I was speaking on a panel.  That occupied most of my worry.  And DC was a small group of about 70 women - many I met at Hispanicize.    

But this is BlogHer!  The mother of all blog conferences for women.  Like thousands of women.  Women from all over the world.  Major bloggers, mega brands and powerhouse social media influencers and experts.  

I mean check out the Keynote speakers: Martha Stewart (Oooohhh)  Katie Couric (What?!), Soledad O'Brian (OMG!!!), Malaak Compton-Rock (YAY!) and Christy Turlington Burns (Whoa...)!    

And in the same room as these women, will be me.  Me?  And there's this small part of me that feels like I'm crashing the party.  Kinda like how Baby felt when she walked into the party with Billy and she meets Johnny for the first time.  That will be me, walking into the Hilton feeling shy, slightly insecure, weighed down with a watermelon and wondering what the hell I've gotten myself into.  (Okay, maybe not carrying an actual watermelon...)    

I am nervous but also giddy with bloggy girl excitement!
   

There's Thursday - the Health Minder Day.  I'll get to listen and learn from some pretty amazing ladies like, Ellen of Love That Max, Kristina Chew,  Susan Senator and Laura Shumaker.          

I get to hang with my Amigas: Ruby and Rachel.  And so many more fabulous blogueras.   

I'll get to meet (for the first time!) some of favorite Special Needs/Autism Mom bloggers.  But I'll let Alysia tell you who since we're both excited about the same people.  

I'll also be in my hometown of NYC.  Which means, no hassle and expense of traveling or packing since the hotel is only a subway ride away.  Also being in NYC adds to my comfort level of what to wear.  I'm a pretty jaded New Yorker and as a former party girl - I never really worry if I'm over dressed or under dressed so long as I feel good in what I'm wearing.        

I'm excited about the parties, meeting new people and networking.  

I'm excited because I am doing something for me.  I am investing in myself.  And that in itself is worthy of celebration.     

Come to think of it, maybe there's nothing to be freaking out about after all.  Maybe three times really is the charm.  

And maybe I'll have the time of my life...so long as no one puts me in a corner.  (Did you think I could post a Dirty Dancing photo without quoting those lines?)

Managing the OMG Moments as Parents of Special Needs Kids

If you're a special needs parent - you've had those moments that have made stop, hold your head in your hands and screamed OMG.  


I know I have.  Some times in frustration.  Some times in complete disbelief.  And some times in absolute amazement.  The OMG moments as parents of special needs kids runs quite the gamut of emotions.   And getting through those moments are easiest when you have someone who will listen, understand, celebrate or advise. 

That being said, I've been asked to co-host a live, all-text Talk on The Motherhood called Managing the OMG Moments as Parents of Special Needs Kids.  We'll talk about the challenges, feelings of isolation, advocating for our kids, interactions with friends and family and anything else that’s affecting your life these days.  Come share your stories, approaches and ideas, and we'll do our best to support each other. 

I am so excited! 

Here are the details:
    
When: Friday, May 18, at 1 p.m. ET.  We will chat for 30 minutes!
 
Where: On The Motherhood, right here - http://bit.ly/K04T0h

RECAP of show is here - http://www.themotherhood.com/blog/managing-the-omg-moments-as-parents-of-special-needs-kids/
 
Who: The all-text chat will be hosted by the amazing Ellen Seidman of Love That Max.  

Co-hosting are these wonderful women:

Dana, Uncommon Sense, http://niederfamily.blogspot.com/
Hallie, Visions of Johanna, http://hallielevinesklar.com/
Jennifer, Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism, http://thinkingautismguide.blogspot.com/
Kate, Chasing Rainbows, http://www.kateleong.com/
Katy, Bird on the Street, http://birdonthestreet.com/
Lisa, Autism Wonderland, http://www.autismwonderland.com/
Shasta, Outrageous Fortune, http://www.outrageousfortune.net/
Sunday, Extreme Parenthood, http://www.extremeparenthood.com/

 
Co-host Twitter IDs
@UncommonBlogger
@thinkingautism
@kateleong
@birdonthestreet
@LaliQuin
@outrageousblog
@xtremeparnthood

Host Twitter IDs: 
@LoveThatMax
@theMotherhood
@EmilyMcKhann
@CooperMunroe
@eolson426

Hope you join us!  
 

Through the Looking Glass - Flannery Sullivan of The Connor Chronicles

I am so excited to have Flannery guest posting today!  She has got to be one of my favorite peeps out in the blogosphere.  I admire her sharp wit and wicked sense of humor.  Please be sure to check out her original post - the photos are a hilarious!  (I would have added myself, but I'm totally being a lazy a-- this week.)
 

Things I Learned When the Air Conditioning Went Out

originally posted on 6/20/11

This past weekend it was 102 degrees each day, which meant it was the perfect time for the air conditioning to go out.  And so it did.  On Saturday, it started making strange grinding noises and then went out during the late afternoon.


We called around, and couldn't get anyone out until Sunday morning.  Fine.  We toughed it out that night and had every ceiling fan and box fan in the house going at full speed.


On Sunday morning the AC guy gave the motor a "jump" and said he'd have to get a replacement motor on Monday.  By 11am it was off again, and could not be jumped back into life.  By 5pm, we decided we'd be getting a hotel room for the night since it was 96 degrees in the house.


I learned some very important things during the great air conditioning outage of 2011, and they are:

1.  It can and will get hotter inside the house than it is outside the house, despite having insulation and five fans.


2.  In terms of survival, it's better to live somewhere cold than somewhere hot when modern conveniences cease to function properly.  If it's cold, there are several options for survival, including starting a fire, layering clothing, generating body heat through exercise, huddling together for warmth, etc.  If it's hot, you're pretty much just fucked.

3.  Boob sweat is the most disgusting of all the sweat produced by the body.

4.  ADHD overrides Asperger's when it comes to staying in a hotel, especially if the last time you were in a hotel was when you were two-years-old and you don't remember it.  There was mad dashing around the house to pack, followed by jumping up and down and pleas of "can we just GO now?"


5.  There are lots of things to do in a room that is 14x10.  First, you can amuse yourself by jumping from one bed to the other, while pretending the floor is hot lava.  You can also turn on and off every light in the room 15 times, just because the light buttons are different than home.  There are also numerous doors, cabinets, and drawers to be opened and closed repetitively, as well as a window with curtains you can pull open and closed until your mother's face turns so red from annoyance that it appears it may pop right off her shoulders.


6.  It takes enormous restraint to not beat a child senseless who has just lifted his ass off the couch cushion in the lobby, and let a huge, disgusting fart rip...3 feet from the refined looking Asian lady also sitting in the lobby.




7.  Setting the thermostat for 62 degrees in your room will make you giddily happy, and will result in peaceful slumber.


8.  Hotels do not get the full array of cable channels, and at 8pm the only choices for a child are the local news station or How I Met Your Mother, neither of which seems to be interesting or appropriate for a six-year-old.


9.  A grown woman who has narrowly avoided heat stroke can lay on a hotel bed in her underwear, happily playing Pumpkins vs. Monsters, for a solid hour.
 10.  Packing an overnight bag when you are about to pass out from heat exhaustion means you will be wearing brown pants, a fuchsia tank, and a white shrug to work the next day.


11.  I won't pay more than $1.69 for a loaf of bread, but I'll pay almost anything to have a comfortable temperature.


The next time we move, in addition to considering the cost of living, unemployment rate, school ratings, housing prices, and crime rates, we will also be considering the average daytime temperature and whether we could survive outdoors in a tent for more than 20 minutes.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have a husband, a child on the spectrum, a full-time job, two dogs, three two fish, and a housemate.  And we relocated from California to Texas.  This blog might be the only thing keeping me on the ledge.

I am mom to Connor, our five-year-old son who has severe ADHD and mild Asperger’s.  He is our pride and joy, as well as our biggest challenge.  He was born in Southern California, as were my husband and I.  We relocated to Texas in 2007, and marvel at the differences every day.

I blog about whatever random amusement comes to mind.  Good luck making sense of it.

My Name is _________ and I am #1in88

This post was inspired by Jess of Diary of a Mom.  She wrote the post - Not Just Numbers, PEOPLE.  (excellent post!) And asked readers to tweet the following - 

“@diaryofamom @autismspeaks Not just numbers, PEOPLE. This is the face of #1in88” with your photo.

This is the photo I tweeted.  And I tweaked my photo for this post.  


I read somewhere that the average person has about 130 Facebook friends.  The new CDC states that about 1 in 88 children has been identified with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD).  (Click HERE for the full CDC report. I have mixed feelings about this.  But that's for another post.)   


Now I'm no math genius but if the statics are true, then you must know someone with autism.  And maybe if we're FB friends, then Norrin is the one that you know.      

April is Autism Awareness Month and I have so much that I want to share.  For now, I'll leave you with this picture of my son Norrin aka The Boy.  He is 6 years old.  He has autism.  He is autistic.  I don't care what caused it.  And I don't want him to be cured.  He doesn't suffer from autism.  And our life is not one to feel sorry for.  I am his mother.  And I love him.


I would love for you to link up a picture of your child here and share it with Jess too.

Here's what to do:

1. Upload a picture of your child picnik.com (site will close on 4/19/12) or quickmeme.com and use the following as your caption:  Hi.  My name is _______.  Not just numbers, PEOPLE. I am #1in88
2. Write a blog post including your child's photo and link back to this post.
3. Link up your post here - it will be up until 4/30/12. 
4.  TWEET “@diaryofamom @autismspeaks Not just numbers, PEOPLE. This is the face of #1in88” and link to your blog post (it must be the post, you're linking here).
5. Visit the blogger before (or as many as you'd like) and tell them how wonderful their child is.
6. Like the blogs that have linked up.  The ones with the most "likes" will win a special prize*.   (I'm still figuring that part out)  

* in order to be eligeble for the prize your post must follow all steps.
* I'm funding the prize part with my own money - more details to follow.  Due to shipping costs, will need to restrict it to US Residents only. 

Great Expectations

A few weeks ago, the editors at www.SpecialNeeds.com asked me to write a guest post.  And when anyone asks me to write anything, it's a pretty big deal for me.  And this guest post was inspired by my fabulous FB AutismWonderland community.  


For those that know me IRL know that we've been going through some stuff.  It hasn't been easy.  I'd like it to be over.  I'd like some peace of mind.


Being a Special Needs Parent means you rely on a lot of people - strangers, really - to help you with your kid.   For the most part, you have strangers helping you make decisions about your child.  Because our children - special needs children - are not entitled to the best.  They are only entitled to the "appropriate."  


But "appropriate" means different things to different people.  And the Special Education in New York City is run like a business.  


And our children are viewed as expenses.  


And many of the teachers and special educators are required to pick a side.  


And like in any other business, in order to get ahead, you need to side with The Boss.  


And siding with The Boss, means you have to forget about the children and families who rely on you.  


The thing is - Special Needs Parents don't expect you to take sides.  We expect you to do the right thing.  If you're a Special Needs Professional you may think my guest post - Great Expectations - is too much to ask for.  But for us,  for Special Needs Parents, it's pretty basic.

10 Awesome Things About an Autism Mom

Last Monday was International Woman's Day.  And to honor that day, Stasha, decided that today's Monday Listicles would celebrate being a woman.  ""Anything Goes," she said.  And immediately, I knew I wanted to write about autism moms.  I am always so inspired by the women I meet and the stories I hear.  It was hard to narrow it down to 10 - there may be a part 2 somewhere in the future. But for now, here is my list:  

10 Awesome Things About Being an Autism Mom

1. We can go days, weeks, months, years without a full night's sleep.  We have mastered the art of sleeping with one eye open.  (maybe this isn't so awesome...)

2. We will forget many things - why we walked into the kitchen from the living room.  The name of that actor from that movie we love (wait...what was the name of the movie again?) Or what we wore the day before.  But we will never forget anything related to our kids and their services.  We can tell you what month they started.  We can recite passages of IEPs and evaluations from years past.  We can dictate passages from FAPE and IDEA and Sections of special education law. 

3. We have the ability to wait on hold for hours. 

4.  We have super hearing.  When out with our kids - we can distinguish the sound of their stim in a crowd.

5.  We have faith.  We don't have to be religious but we have a strong sense of faith in our kids.

6.  We have a broad imagination.  We are always thinking outside of the box in order to teach our kids.  

7. We wear many hats - wife, mother, teacher, chef, maid, boo boo kisser, friend, advocate, attorney, social worker.   

8. When it comes to our kids, we have extreme amounts of patience.  We can explain the same thing 20, 30, 40 times.

9. We appreciate the little things - like pointing a finger or hearing a WH question for the first time.  We take nothing for granted because we know how hard our kids work.

10. We are visionaries.  When it comes to our kids.  Where we see a void - we work to fill it.  We become the change we want to see in the world.   Like local NYC Mom Jackie of SNACK.  Or Patty Porch - who started a LEGO Social Club.  Or Margret - who inspired The Golden Hat Foundation.

Back to the Future...with Special Needs Ryan Gosling

What do you wish Special Needs Ryan Gosling could make for you?

  And just in case you have no idea what I'm referencing...click HERE. 


For more Special Needs Ryan Gosling laughs, snark & wishful thinking...check out Adventures in Extreme Parenthood

Ready to create your own?  Here's what to do:

• Make your Special Needs Ryan Gosling poster(s) then enter your name and blog address below and we can visit each other's blogs and have a good laugh.
• Be sure to check back often in the days to come because the list may grow as others see our posts and want to join in on the fun.  Also, if you share your blog post on Twitter please add the #SNryangosling hashtag so that it will streamline all the posts together.  
• Stay tuned next Wednesday for the new Ryan Gosling photo and link up with Sunday again next Friday!
• Dont forget to grab Sunday's button

The IEP

For those of you not in the know - the IEP stands for the Individualized Education Plan.  The key word being I N D I V I D U A L I Z E D.

You see, when you have a kid with special needs, all of a sudden you become part of this team of therapists, special education teachers, social workers and psychologists.  This Special Education team that will discuss and determine the Individualized Education Plan for your child.    

However, the IEP meetings that I've walked into, I've always been made to feel as if I'm just there to sign the forms and be on my merry way.  And during more than one meeting, I've said - are we creating an Individualized Education Plan or a Generalized Education Plan?

Because when I've requested an additional speech session or OT at The Sensory Gym in addition to OT at school, they say "Generally, we provide...blah blah blah..."

Remember  - it's a dollar and cents game.       

Ever since The Boy's diagnosis in 2008, I've had to fight for services and fight to maintain.  And fight, I will.  Because if The Boy needs something.  You best be sure, I'm going to do my damnedest to get it.  And while I loved The Boy's progression.  I know that for every single step forward, the DOE (Dept of Education) is ready to take something away.  

I'm not a difficult person by nature.  I'm not confrontational or argumentative.  I'm a happy go lucky gal.  Super easy to get along with.  I can make friends with anyone.  But when it comes to The Boy?  And what he needs?  I will fight.  Because it's for him.  Isn't that my job?  As his mother.  

And I'm not making this IEP stuff up. It's the law.  BY LAW - The Boy is entitled to FAPE guaranteed by IDEA.  (for those of you not in the know - FAPE stands for Free and Appropriate Education and IDEA stands for Individuals with Disabilities Act).  

Okay - enough alphabet soup and back to the IEP and the point of this post. 

Lizbeth of Four Sea Stars wrote a great post, Anatomy of Classroom Desk where she  posted a photo of her son, Alex and all this stuff around his desk - to make his day easier.  And it's on his IEP. 

When I saw it, I said to myself - damn, why didn't I do any of that?  Oh well, the upside to IEPs is that they can get revised at any time.

And Lizbeth's posted prompted THIS IEP MEME.    

So, I here I go.  

My last IEP meeting was a joke...But if you're up for a laugh.  Because sometimes you just have to laugh.  You can read it here.

1. There are no tools on The Boy's IEP.  None.  I provided the school with a squishy pad to sit on.  I provide boxes of gum and squishy toys.  Do they understand why he needs these things? Do they use it?  Does it work?  I have no idea.  I've been pushed out of the loop of communication.  The Boy's OT suggested headphones to help The Boy cope but since I don't know whether or not they will use it during the day - I haven't bothered to purchase them.  The Boy's class does have a visual schedule posted but I'm not sure if he has one on his desk.

The Boy does have a BIP (Behavior Intervention Plan).  But I'm not really going there with that one and again - I'm out of the loop.   

2. The Boy receives Speech 3x30; OT 3x30 and PT 1x30.  The Boy attends a "regular" public school but is in a "specialized" class for children specifically with autism.  It's a 6:1:2.  (The Boy also has 8 hours of ABA at home.  This is not on the IEP - we pay for this privately.) 

3. Since The Boy has started kindergarten at this school, I have seen progress.  However I'm not completely convinced it's due to his school placement or services.  I'm not convinced of their effectiveness. 

The speech therapist is really nice, very enthusiastic - which is great to see.  However, she is doesn't have a background in autism - she's learning.  And The Boy's services are in a group of 3 - he needs to have at least 1 individual session.  The speech therapist recommended this too.  But since she's the only one for the entire school, she does not have room in her schedule to provide a one on one session. 

As for OT - The Boy was not provided with OT services at school for the first few months.  The school did not have an OT.  (I was paying for OT sessions privately) When I requested an RSA letter, I was initially told to call 311.  We finally have an RSA and we have a fabulous OT.  And I am certain that she is effective when working with The Boy.        

What I do find most effective is not on the IEP - is the BCBA/ABA therapists that come to our home.  We pay for this privately but it's worth the sacrifice and I'm fortunate to have really good insurance.

    

Words With: Many Hats Mommy (Jenny Herman)

Name/Blogging name: Jenny Herman/Many Hats Mommy

Website:  http://www.manyhatsmommy.com

Twitter: @manyhatsmommyMI

Introduction in her own words:  

I am a Christian, a wife, a mom, and all that comes with that—teacher, referee, chauffeur, nutritionist, nurse, etc. I wear many hats, just like all of you. I also work for Home Educating Family as the Social Media Coordinator. I run their newly redesigned blog and the social media pages. The best part of that is that I’m able to influence a mainstream magazine/company and get special needs some attention. Finally, I am a freelance writer and cause trouble on Twitter with a former guest of yours, Bobbi Sheahan. Some day you’ll see our names on a book together!

*

AW: What was your first reaction to your child’s diagnosis?

MHM: Honestly, I felt great relief. I was glad to know I wasn’t crazy. I had spent so much time researching sensory issues and Aspergers and autism, and had been told so many times, “He’s a boy. He’ll be fine. Other kids do that,” etc. that I was driving myself nuts going back and forth in my head, doubting my gut and trusting my gut. I wanted the validation.

AW: What was your defining moment of acceptance?

MHM: Quite frankly, I can’t remember a single moment of acceptance. I remember at the first evaluation through the school system, I was glad my son didn’t qualify to be in the developmental delay preschool room. As a former elementary teacher, I didn’t want him in the special ed room.

As I said before, I was relieved to have a diagnosis and know what I was dealing with, but I still had a hard time saying, “My son is autistic.” It was easier for me to say, “He’s on the autism spectrum.” I have no idea why. It just didn’t sound as bad. I think for me, my “moment” of acceptance was when I realized I didn’t have to try to make him interact with others all the time—he was perfectly happy being by himself, playing whatever non-pretending thing he was playing—and that was ok.   

AW: What inspired you to start your blog? Your book?

MHM: My husband encouraged me to start my blog for therapeutic reasons and to get back to my dream of writing. I was really sporadic at first, but he was right. It was therapeutic, especially in that first year or so. You’re still getting your feet back under you, figuring everything out. Having a place to get it out, and even think out loud about things was very cathartic. I haven’t been as active on it lately since I’ve been working on, ironically, a blog for work, but I hope to remedy that in the next month and get back to a regular schedule. You’re still welcome to stop by—lots of good stories and guest posts for your reading pleasure!

Because of my blog, I met lots of other autism parents that were also writers. Some of them invited me to join in a compilation of short glimpses into life with autism. You can find my story “The Gift” in Wit & Wisdom from the Parents of Special Needs Kids: Mostly True Stories of Life on the Spectrum. I am honored to be part of the gang in that book. There is some amazing writing in there. I am amazed that Lynn Hudoba gathered forty plus writers, and not one of us wrote on the same aspect of autism. It’s like a support group to go!

AW: What has been the most rewarding aspect of being a special needs parent/writer/advocate?

MHM: Ultimately, the most rewarding part of my involvement in the special needs world is knowing I’ve helped someone else. There are many who’ve gone before me and taken the time to pause, bend down, and offer me a hand up out of the confusion and desperation known as the first year or two of living with autism. If I can do the same thing for someone else, then I’m glad to help them make it through the fog, too. Hopefully I’m just passing the baton, and they’ll do the same for another parent.

The next most rewarding aspect of being in the autism world is all of the friends I’ve made, including Autism Wonderland! Many special needs parents experience having closer friends in cyberspace than down the street. It’s the nature of the beast—folks just can’t understand, even if they want to. Thanks to my blog which took me to Twitter, I am part of an amazing autism support group known as #autism and #aspergers and #youmightbeanautismparentif.

AW: What advice would you offer parents of recently diagnosed children?

MHM: I recommend you take a moment to breathe. Don’t drown yourself in autism research. It’s normal to want to read everything you can get your hands on, but remember that is not your whole world. I don’t mean that to be harsh. I mean it to give yourself permission to enjoy some time with your child. There’s so much pressure with autism to take advantage of the “window of opportunity” and get all the therapy in you can right away. But you know what? That same child will never be young again to experience life as a child. Take time to do things that aren’t autism related.

I also recommend you take time to be yourself and have fun for yourself. I don’t mean it in a selfish way. I just mean that you can easily lose yourself in books, magazines, and blogs about autism. I know—I should have an Associate’s degree in autism research! Chances are your spouse, friends, and family would like to discuss something other than the latest treatment options with you at some point! You may have to force yourself to find a new hobby (remember, my husband suggested blogging).

Finally, I know it may sound silly, but if you are not on Twitter, I highly suggest it. It’s a different kind of support than you find on Facebook. Both are very valuable. It’s hard to explain—because Twitter is more “in the moment”, most likely you can jump on, throw in a hashtag (#) and have someone to talk to almost immediately. Is your kid screaming in the background and trying to kick down the door? It’s ok—sign in to Twitter, type in #meltdown and #autism in part of your status, and one, two, five other autism parents are sending you encouragement to get you through. Did your child just hug you for no reason? Jump on Twitter, throw in #autism, share your excitement, and you have a cheering squad in minutes! And guess what? These folks stick around and will cheer you or hold you up for many days to come. They have for me.

AW: Feelings on diagnosis in 6 words or less:

MHM: Whew! I’m not insane.