Celebrating National Breakfast Month {Autism Style} Week 2

September is National Breakfast Month, I'd thought I'd try something different on the blog and share some of our favorite breakfast recipes. 

We don't have The Boy on the GF/CF diet but sometimes we like to go with a raw diet you know? 

Fruit & Nuts
Rinse your favorite fruit and serve with your nut of choice. 
Great for a Sunday morning, when you're on the go or when you're too tired to think of anything else.

And in case you missed it...Celebrating National Breakfast Month {Autism Style} Week 1

Come on back next week to see what's for breakfast. 

Celebrating National Breakfast Month {Autism Style} Week 1

I love food. Love it. I love eating it, looking at it and talking about it. I love watching it on the Food Network and reading about it on blogs (there are so many I adore!). 

The only problem is I don't cook. I mean, I do cook (of course I cook, what kind of mother/wife you think I am) but it's more out of necessity rather than enjoyment.  

So since September is National Breakfast Month, I'd thought I'd try something different on the blog and share some of my favorite recipes. 

Cereal
Open box. Pour into bowl and boom! Breakfast is served. 

   
Come on back next Wednesday to see what's for breakfast!

He Said What?!

The Boy is notorious for swiping my iPad. He takes a ton of screen shots and then likes to delete my photos to make room for his. Not cool. So this week The Husband changed the passcode on my iPad. Then we watched with amusement as The Boy kept getting an error message. Bwahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Then The Boy mumbled, "I think this needs to charge." And he goes to charge the iPad.   

***

The Boy likes to sleep in our bed. I know. I know. I know. I really try to put him to sleep in his bed (and most nights he does). But if he makes his way back into ours in the middle of the night - I just don't fight it. This Mami needs her sleep. Anyway, sometimes The Boy will be so tired, he'll put himself to bed. Earlier this week I found him at 7:30 pm all snuggled up in our bed. 

The Boy: "I'm tired. I want to go to sleep." 

Me: "Well why don't you go to sleep in your bed." 

The Boy: "I don't think so. My room's a mess."

(Then he requested I spray the pillows with Bath & Body Lavender pillow mist.)

***

Today is The Boy's last day of the extended school year. He has officially completed his first full year at his school. And I was feeling a bit emotional. The first day I put him on the bus last summer (on July 2, 2012) - it was such a big moment for me. It was the moment that I let go of a dream and embraced a new one.

His progress this year has been A M A Z I N G! He is a completely different kid. He's happy. He feels good about himself and his work. I can ask him about his day and he gives me little nuggets of information. He talks about things he learned at school - like the planets, the weather and recently fire safety. The Boy knows to Stop, Drop and Roll.

And when I told him this morning it was his last day of school and asked if he knew when he would go back. He said, "In September."

There are still many things he needs to work on. But The Boy is in a good place, with people who truly understand him. 

Taken this morning - it takes a few tries to get the "Money Shot" 
The Boy's last day of school for the year

***

And from earlier this week on Babble 

• Did you know August is Family Fun Month? Check out some simple activities you can do to celebrate with your family - HERE
• Six Ways I Wish I were Like My Son With Autism - HERE
• 7 Back-to-School Essentials For Kids with Autism - HERE

When Pretend Play Goes Wrong

When The Boy was first diagnosed with autism, the doctor told us he lacked imaginative play skills. Since then we've been working on building The Boy's imagination and working on pretend play.

In the last year, The Boy's imagination has been slowly emerging. And it's been wonderful to watch! 

For instance...last night The Boy pretended to be a barber.

So um, YAY for pretend play. 

BOO for big piece of hair missing.  

My Least Favorite Household Chore

I grew up in the kind of home where one could easily eat off floors. My mother prides herself on that.

However. I wouldn't recommend eating off my floors. Not even with the 2 second rule. Though that doesn't stop The Boy from doing so. And on the rare occasion when he does, I just have to not think too much about it.

Don't get me wrong. We don't live in a sty. I will dust, do laundry and wash dishes. But there's just something about mopping that I absolutely hate.

I'm more of spot cleaner. (With the exception of the bathroom, I clean that floor thoroughly twice a week.)

But I'm home for the day and just looked at my floor and said - ENOUGH.

So I mopped. Brought out the bucket and everything. I poured in my Fabuloso and went to town. It's the only thing that I love about mopping. The scent of Fabuloso throughout the apartment and the gleam of my floors.

Though I am sure either The Boy or The Husband will spill something on my squeaky clean floors before the day is done.  

Because mopping happens so rarely I decided it was blog worthy. Because one never knows when it may happen again.     

What's your least favorite household chore? 

Disclaimer: This is a non compensated post. I am just a huge fan of Fabuloso. If they were to decide to send me a case of Fabuloso upon reading this post, I may mop more often. (I'm lying. I totally wouldn't. But I'd still appreciate the gesture.)

What 4am At Our Home Looks Like

It's 4:49 am. And we've been up since 3:55. It's Monday. So today should be really fun.

Some morning when The Boy wakes this early, I lay in bed with one eye open. And when the alarm goes off at 5 am, I put the snooze button to work. This morning, I couldn't do it. 

And like the saying experienced moms like to tell new moms, "Sleep when the baby sleeps" - I wake when The Boy wakes. 

I've washed last night's dishes. I took these snazzy pictures & tweaked them on my iPhone. And now I'm going to have a cup of coffee while I put the final touches on an article that's due later today.

So what does 4am look like in our place?  

Coffee waiting to be brewed. Dishes in sink waiting to be washed.
Laptop open & ready to go.

And while I washing the dishes this is what The Boy was doing! 

And as I'm typing this, the Boy sits beside me. Puts his hand on my shoulder and says, "Hey Momma. What's up?" and then kisses my cheek. And maybe just maybe I swooned a little bit.

Happy Monday!

When Scripting Goes Wrong

The Boy has words. Lots of words. I love hearing him speak because there was a time when he had no language. And we wondered if the words would ever come. 

However, much of his language is scripted or echolalic. Which basically means he repeats stuff. A lot. And I don't mind it so much because often he scripts appropriately. And he uses scripted language that he's memorized from books or TV because he doesn't have the ability to express his own spontaneous thoughts. 

For example, one day I took The Boy outside and it suddenly started to rain and he shrieked, "Oh no! The rain is going to ruin everything." And he said it with a little British accent because he's scripting from Charlie & Lola. I'm not going to lie...I think it's really freaking cute.  

But sometimes his scripting is not so cute. Especially when we're out in public or when he's in school. Because he happens to prefer the lines with attitude. So it's a challenge because - yes we want language but we want nice language.  

And so, this is my Top 10 List of Favorite Scripted Quotes from The Boy of 2012

What are you talking about? 

Are you sure it's legal? 

I'm going to touch the butt.

Do you think you have pantophobia?

Get your dopey feet out of my face.

I'm not going to do it. You do it.

Fish are Friends. Not Food. (The Boy eats calamari and shrimp. Best not tell him what it really is.)   

Shut up. (This one drives me insane...we are really working on it.)

I'm obnoxious. (except it sounds like, "I"m nauseaus")

Don't even think about it. 

And a super special thanks to Charlie Brown, The Berenstain Bears, Finding Nemo and every other character The Boy loves to script from - you've given my son the kind of language I never thought possible along with attitude and sometimes a side of silly.

Does your kid script? What are some of your favorite or not so favorite scripts?

Linking up with Mama Kat.  Share your top 10 favorite quotes from your kids in 2012. (inspired by The Momalog)

10 Things You'll Find In My Home (Autism Edition)

It's been a while since I've linked up with my favorite Northwest Mommy who has an affinity for punch buggies.  This Monday Stasha's asking us to take a look around our place. So here's my list of things you'll find in my home and if you're a special needs mom, you'll probably have these too. 

1. A Bosu. It's usually smack dab in the living room. It's supposed to be for The Boy but sometimes we use it too. Try balancing on that thing after a few glasses of vino. 

2. A weighted vest. Though we've had it forever, we'll need to replace it soon.   

3. A scooter board. Which is interesting because we live in an apartment. And when we use it, we use it in the hallway. Oh yes, we are totally capable of being those neighbors. 

4. Playdough. I have to hide it from The Boy otherwise he'll mash all the colors together into one big puke colored blob and that drives me crazy. So I don't keep it in his room, I bury them in places throughout the apartment and then forget where I put them. I have been know to find playdough in my underwear drawer.

5. Legos. It's super fun, when I stumble on them at 2 am! 

6. Flash cards. We have them for almost everything.

7. A Calendar. He currently has one date only in mind.

8. A huge plastic bin full Thomas crap Trains. Which is also stored in the living room. 

Which means (check all that apply): 

(a) The Boy has too many toys 

(b) I need more space 

(c) I think Thomas the Train adds to the decor or 

(c) I better be careful before I find myself oh Hoaders

9. A seat disk.  We actually have two. (You may need to rethink your answers in #8.)

10. This little wooden boat. It may be broken in two pieces but I just stick it back together and put it back on The Boy's book shelf. The Husband and The Boy had a great time putting it together. I guess I could just frame the photo, but that's not the same thing. 

  
So...your turn. Watchu got? 

Christmas Came Early #WordlessWednesday

Okay, maybe just a few words... 

The Boy has been bugging us the last few weeks for this toy. The Husband and I tend to spoil The Boy.  But this time, I was going to stand my ground.  This time, The Boy was going to wait until Christmas.  The Husband ordered it on line so that we would be sure to have come Christmas. 

But The Boy kept asking. 

And asking. 

And asking.

And we would say, "Not today." 

Then the other day, we finally said, "No, you have to wait until Christmas."

And do you know what The Boy did?  

He changed his calendar. And announced it was Christmas. (I didn't know he knew what date Christmas was on.) 

So I am sure you know what we did.

(hanging head down in shame...)  

7 Never Ending Tasks of Mom

Do you know the story of Sisyphus?  Sisyphus was this guy condemed by the Greek Gods for all eternity. His punishment? To roll a huge bolder up a mountain. And just as Sisyphus reached the top the bolder would come rolling back down. It was an endless and unavailing task.

Some days I feel like Sisyphus. Day after day, doing the same things.  All. Day. Long.

These are my 7 Sisyphean tasks as a mom:

Laundry. I can't remember the last time I saw the bottom of my laundry bin. When I'm not washing, I'm folding.  When I'm not washing or folding, I'm putting away. And when I'm not washing, folding or putting away - I'm sorting.  Laundry is a four step task that really never ends.  

Dishes. I don't have a dish washer. I could easily washes dishes 2 to 3 times a day. And just when I walk away from the sink, I could walk into another room and find a stray dish or cup.

Making the bed.  The Boy has this thing about getting in the bed after it's made.  I make the beds walk out of the room and when I return, he's either all snuggled up in one of the beds or he's made a snuggle and run. 

Picking up LEGO bricks. I'm always picking up a LEGO. They just appear out of nowhere. Especially at 2am when I'm stumbling to the bathroom.

Cooking. Because they have to eat.

Putting down the toilet seat lid. I'm the only lady in my house. I don't think any amount of discrete trials can eliminate this behavior. 

Paperwork. This may be a special needs mom thing but the paper can become insane. And this isn't something I do all day, every day but it still belongs on this list. There is always a form to fill out.  And it's always the same questions.  And after you fill out a 5, 10, 15 page form. You will be asked the same questions. I wish there was just one form that we can carry around on a flash drive or some kind of recording that I could share or play. 

Wouldn't that be nice?

  What are your never ending tasks?

It Was Bound To Happen. I'm Becoming My Mother.

My relationship with Carmen (aka my mother) hasn't always been easy.  I am quite certain Carman can say the same about her relationship with me. But I love her and would be completely lost without her. And she is a wonderful Abuela to The Boy (you can read about their relationship HERE).

There was a time in my life when I said I wanted to be nothing like her.  And now I spend most of my days trying to be half the woman she is.

These are few things I've said, thought or done that remind me slowly but surely, I'm becoming my mother.


Why are there 4 boxes of cereal open? And don't let there be more than 2 kinds of juice open in the fridge.

The other day I was out walking with The Boy and he asked for ice cream from the ice cream truck and I said, We have ice cream at home.  Neopolitan to be exact. It was the only flavor my mother would buy. I used to hate it. And when I bought it the other day, I cursed myself at the check out counter when I made the connection.

Speaking of check out counters...If I realize something is not on sale as the cashier is ringing it up, I decide I don't want it. 

When out shopping, I find myself looking at labels. If I see dry clean only - I immediately put back on rack. I have to really really really love something to buy something that is dry clean only. 

That's not the way I do it.

I walk around the apartment turning off lights and appliances like a mad woman. What do these people think, I'm sleeping with the Con Ed man?

I reuse paper towels whenever possible (and also zip locks). And don't throw away that (paper/plastic) bag, that's a good bag.

Dios Mio, ¡Ayúdame! or ¡Qué jodienda coño!  I don't even speak Spanish but if you heard me say either of these phrases, you'd swear it was my first language.  


Because I said so, that's why.

And these are some of the things I don't do, that make me realize, I haven't become my mother just yet:

• make my own sofrito
• cook 3 meals a day and make dinner large enough for leftovers
• clip coupons and use them
• move my stove and refrigerator twice a year for a good cleaning
  

When do you do, say or think that makes you realize you've become your mother?

We Don't Ride in Helicopters and The Boy Can't Draw the Skyline from Memory Either.

I don't what it was about last week but for some reason this Stephen Wiltshire photo was making the facebook rounds. For those who don't know, Stephen Wiltshire is an autistic savant and The Boy - obviously, hence this blog - is autistic too.

Someone tagged me in this photo. Two or three posted this on my wall. Someone sent it via facebook message. And someone else emailed it to me.

There captions were all pretty much the same: "WOW!" "OMG!" or "AMAZING!"

I know why they sent it. It's sweet, they are thinking of me.  Of us.  

And while I really really really do appreciate the thought, I kind of want to say two things:

1. The Stephen Wiltshire story came out in 2009 (maybe earlier). I've seen it.
2. The Boy is not autistic like Stephen. 

Stephen is a savant. And The Boy is not. And The Boy's art work looks more like this:

"Over the Rainbow" 2011

Norrin's "House" 2011

"Gumballs" 2012

And for me, The Boy's art work is just as WOW worthy as Stephen's.

So thank you to all who shared Stephen's art with me but The Boy's autism is not like Stephen's.  

Check out other autism myths & misconceptions I've heard by clicking HERE, for my lastest Autism Hopes post Parents.com blog post on To The Max. 

“He Doesn’t Look Autistic” and Other Autism Misconceptions 

    

  

IQs, Autism & iPads

In the last four years, The Boy has been evaluated several times.  By neuropsychologists, Board Certified Behavior Analysts, developmental pediatricians, special education teachers, speech pathologists, occupational therapists and physical therapists. 

All the evaluations reveal the same thing about The Boy's cognitive ability.  His IQ is inconclusive.  In his last evaluation, the doctor wrote:

"Full scale IQ was in the extremely low range, however due to significant variability in performance this cannot be considered a valid representation of overall cognitive functioning."

Does autism impact his ability to test?  Is it the ADHD component?  Is it both?  I don't know. 

What I do know is that The Boy is way brighter than any test score reveals. 

And you know what else I know?  The Boy is just as sneaky and mischievous as any other typical 6 year old boy.  Maybe even more so.  Especially when it comes to the iPad.

The Boy is a wiz with the iPad.  He plays games, colors and complete puzzles.  He goes on Netflix.  He adjusts the brightness and the volume independantly.  He goes on YouTube - he types in what he wants to watch.  And like most kids on the spectrum, he watches the same thing - over and over and over and over again.  

Stuff like this...

And this...

All harmless stuff.  Annoying to listen to after 1000 times.  But hey, whatever makes The Boy happy right?

And then The Boy discovered The Family Guy.  (hanging head in shame) In particular this episode:

And when The Boy would watch it, I'd make him turn it off and/or take away the iPad.  But then The Boy started scripting lines from The Family Guy.  Which secretly made me giggle the first time I heard it but "horse sperm" isn't exactly the kind of thing I want my kid to say out in public.

So we did what any other decent parent would do.  We deleted YouTube from The Boy's iPAd.  (Yes, he has his own iPad - we got tired of sharing.)

And you know what that little stinker did?  He found that exact episode on NetFlix.  So that got removed too.

HAHA - we showed you!  Or so we thought.

The other morning I found The Boy quietly sitting on the sofa.  He had my iPad in his lap and my earbuds in his ears.  Now, I don't keep my earbuds connected to the iPad - so he had to find them.

And you want to know what he was watching?

The Family Guy.

Foiled again by a 6 year old.

So much for a "low range IQ." 

Am I Mom Enough?

You've seen it by now.  The Time magazine cover that has every one's bra straps in a pinch.  We all have our own opinions.  Our judgements.  Our snide remarks about the mother, the child and the boob that's hanging out.  


Quite honestly, I don't care about the cover.  Well - that's not true.  I don't care about the picture.  Because, guess what?  Not me.  Not my kid.  And not my boob.  (I'm secretly jealous of her perky 26 year old boob and the size of her skinny jeans and the flatness of her tummy. I am hoping that it's all photo shopped and that she's as saggy and flabby as me.)   


It's the caption I care about.

Are You Mom Enough?

This photo went viral just a few days before Mother's Day.  At a time when we should be celebrating the joy of motherhood and appreciating all the hardworking, caring, nurturing mothers - we're being pitted against one another.

Everyone is talking about the picture and breastfeeding.  Very little is being said about the actual article.  The mom on the cover is only a blurb in the six page feature. The article focuses on Dr. Bill Sears, his wife, Martha (authors of The Baby Book) and the philosophy of attachment parenting.
    
What's attachment parenting? Well, it involves the following: breast feeding, co-sleeping, walking around with your baby in a sling and the belief that no infant should be left to cry because every little whimper is a cry for help.  

"Attachment parenting says that the more time babies spend in their mothers' arms, the better the chances they will turn out to well-adjusted children."   (Kate Pickert, Time)

Breast feeding wasn't for me

Seconds after I gave birth to The Boy, the nurse asked if I wanted to breast feed.  I was open to it. But it was difficult - physically and emotionally.  The Boy wouldn't latch on.  The nurses came in and worked with me,  but once I went home - I was on my own.  I was a new mom, uncertain of what I was doing.  At 2 am - The Boy was crying hysterically.  And I couldn't do it.  I sat there, rocking in the glider, The Boy in my arms trying to breast feed.  I was crying - feeling like the biggest mother failure - because he wasn't latching on.  The Boy's face was red from frustration and hunger.  Finally I yelled out to The Husband to get the bottle.  I am sure there are women who will say I didn't try hard enough.  I know - I tried. 


Two weeks later, I became engorged.  And it was painful.  If you've never been engorged. (Slip two big rocks in your bra and try to lay down on your stomach.)  I had to go out and buy a pump.  I sat on my sofa for two hours pumping milk out like I was a cow.  You know what I got?  Three measly ounces of milk.  After that - The Boy got formula.  Momma closed up the milk shop. 

Welcome to reality

As a mother, I understand the philosophy behind attachment parenting and why some mothers would choose to follow it.  But it's not the reality for everyone. Most of the moms I know - work.  Not by choice.  By necessity.  I work.  Not only because I really need to work and make money, I also want to.  But that's for another blog post.  (I'll be sharing that with Carla in the next few weeks.)  


Attachment parenting especially isn't a reality for urban working class families or for the single mom.  And as a mom who works full time outside of the home and as a college student - I know I'm not alone.  Many of my classmates are also working (outside of the home) moms.  Again, not by choice.  By necessity.  We sacrifice our time in order to make our child's life easier.             

...the arguments for and against attachment parenting mirror questions about family and work that still divide America five decades after the advent of modern feminism, when nearly half the U.S. workforce is made up of women.   (Kate Pickert, Time Magazine

Based on the article, Dr. Sears has a skewed sense of reality.  Dr. Sears "encourages mothers to start home businesses" rather than rejoining the workforce.  Dr. Sears also suggests "mothers quit their jobs and borrow money to make up the difference." Dr. and Mrs. Sears "subsidized their sons' wives so they could stay home with the Sears grandchildren."


For the secretary, the receptionist or blue collar worker - how will this work?  What home business can they start?  (You really can't start a business without money.) Who are they borrowing money from?  Not every family/mother has these options.  Or maybe - they don't want them.


And not every mother has the privilege of a flexible work arrangement.  Where I work, many executives have the option to work from home.  After The Boy was diagnosed, I asked if working from home could be an option.  I was told that my job - as a secretary - could not be performed from home.  And while some flexibility was allowed to accommodate our family needs - I work my full 35 to 40 hours. Not to mention commute time - about 10 hours a week.  


For the single mom - what about medical insurance?  Who will supplement her income - if the father decides he wants to skip town or be a dead beat?  Should welfare be an option so that she can stay home with her baby and follow the attachment parenting approach?  If that started happening, I know people would be up in arms about that.  


These are not the days of Archie Bunker - where a single income blue collar worker can purchase a house in Queens (New York), support his family and send his child to college.
           

Different. Not Less.

Temple Grandin's mother, Eustacia Cutler, described her daughter as different, not less.  The same term can be applied to mothers.  I work outside of the home, I didn't breastfeed but I co-sleep - though not by choice, its the only way I'll get some sleep.  I am different.  Not less.


And just because a mother stays home and adopts the attachment parenting philosophy - that makes her different.  Not more.  

Here's a novel idea!

Do what works for you and your family.  GASP!  I know, I know - sounds a little radical.    But if you don't want to take my word for it.  Listen to these guys:  

"Trust [your] instincts...'You know more than you think you do.'" ~ Dr. Spock.

"Do the best you can with the resources you have." ~ Dr. Sears

These would have been great sentiments for Mother's Day.  Though I suppose, it's not the sentiment that will sell magazines.


If breast feeding a three year old, works for Jamie Lynn Grumet (the mother on Time Magazine) - good for her.  And if you know breast feeding a three year old isn't going to work for you.  Don't do it.  


As a special needs mom, I talk a lot about acceptance.  But I can't be selective about my acceptance - especially when it comes to parenting styles.  That would make me a hypocrite.  So as long as a child isn't put in any physical danger - who the hell am I to judge?
     

Am I Mom Enough?

Not a day goes by where I think to myself - am I doing enough for my child?  And I know many moms - whether they stay at home with their kids or work outside of the home ask themselves the same question.  In a recent Huffington Post article, Erin Smith writes: 

There are all types of mothers out there; working mothers, stay at home mothers, mothers that work part time -- all sorts of arrangements. With all their differences, I'd venture to say that at least one common thread exists among them: they all have some level of guilt.

Chances are if you are feeling some kind guilt, if you are questioning "Am I Mom enough?" - the answer is probably YES.  You are mom enough.  


And as mothers - don't we teach our children to do their best.  If they do their very best, then that's all that matters.  


The same should apply to us.


(I'm running out to enjoy my Mother's Day weekend - if there are any typos - forgive me, I'll revise later.)

The Time of Our Life

 

I've had a crappy week.  I actually had a big time mommy meltdown.  At my desk at work.  And in the ladies room at my office.  There is nothing worse than a sobbing secretary.  


And The Boy?  Every morning he wakes up and tells me that he wants to go to a new school.  Some mornings he's more anxious than others.  He cries.  I have no idea why.  He can't tell me.  It really sucks when there is absolutely no communication between a school and the home.


The Boy has made great progress this school year...but.  There's a really big BUT.  A but so big, I really can't get into it.


So I could really use some smiles and sunshine.  (It's been raining all week in NYC)  Ryan always makes me smile.


And I may need to watch Dirty Dancing this weekend.