When Scripting Goes Wrong

The Boy has words. Lots of words. I love hearing him speak because there was a time when he had no language. And we wondered if the words would ever come. 

However, much of his language is scripted or echolalic. Which basically means he repeats stuff. A lot. And I don't mind it so much because often he scripts appropriately. And he uses scripted language that he's memorized from books or TV because he doesn't have the ability to express his own spontaneous thoughts. 

For example, one day I took The Boy outside and it suddenly started to rain and he shrieked, "Oh no! The rain is going to ruin everything." And he said it with a little British accent because he's scripting from Charlie & Lola. I'm not going to lie...I think it's really freaking cute.  

But sometimes his scripting is not so cute. Especially when we're out in public or when he's in school. Because he happens to prefer the lines with attitude. So it's a challenge because - yes we want language but we want nice language.  

And so, this is my Top 10 List of Favorite Scripted Quotes from The Boy of 2012

What are you talking about? 

Are you sure it's legal? 

I'm going to touch the butt.

Do you think you have pantophobia?

Get your dopey feet out of my face.

I'm not going to do it. You do it.

Fish are Friends. Not Food. (The Boy eats calamari and shrimp. Best not tell him what it really is.)   

Shut up. (This one drives me insane...we are really working on it.)

I'm obnoxious. (except it sounds like, "I"m nauseaus")

Don't even think about it. 

And a super special thanks to Charlie Brown, The Berenstain Bears, Finding Nemo and every other character The Boy loves to script from - you've given my son the kind of language I never thought possible along with attitude and sometimes a side of silly.

Does your kid script? What are some of your favorite or not so favorite scripts?

Linking up with Mama Kat.  Share your top 10 favorite quotes from your kids in 2012. (inspired by The Momalog)

If It Works For Madonna...

I have loved Madonna since I was a in the 4th grade.  I remember the day when I walked to Sam Goody to buy the Like a Virgin tape.  That's right kids, I said tape.  I played the title song over and over again having no clue what the words meant but belted it out at the top of my lungs.  

And since that day in I have seen Madonna evolve over and over again.  She is hailed as the Queen of Reinvention.  Because she's always reinvented herself at just the right times of her life.  I've admired her for it.  She is fearless and thinks nothing of reinventing her image when it suits her.  And with every change, she's become more successful, more refined, more powerful and more fabulous.

Some of my favorite Madonna looks through the years

Today is Fadra's last Sunday hosting the Stream of Conciousness Meme post and it's about reinvention.  I don't participate often but since it's her last one and I've always enjoyed writing them - I decided to link up one last time.  And the theme of reinvention works with what I am going through right now. 


I am trying to reinvent myself.  Well, my outer self.  


I am sitting on the sofa as I type this; my entire body is sore from exercising.  Today was the third day in a row that I've made the conscious decision to work out.  To get in shape.  To live healthier.  To hopefully, live longer.  


I have been struggling with my weight for the last two years.   And last June I wrote a post about The Weight of Autism.  Thinking that I was going to make the effort.  But since that post, I've gained more weight.  I know what it is - I've spent the last few years craving comfort from all the wrong places.


And while the comfort I crave feels so good in the moment.  I know, it's time for me to seek comfort elsewhere.  


Because every time I step on the scale, I cringe.  


Every time I have to squeeze into a pair of jeans that used to fit, I curse myself. 


Every time I have to look for a shirt that conceals my muffin top, I hate it.


Every time I put something on only to realize it no longer fits, I wonder - how could I let this happen?


In less than 3 months I will be one more year closer to 40.   And in the last few months I've had some serious wake up calls regarding health and the choices I've been making.  


It's time to make changes.    


When I was in the 4th grade, I wanted to wear white lace gloves and black rubber bracelets because Madonna wore them.  


Decades later, I'm still taking lessons from the Madonna handbook.

Top 10 Favorite Books

I really do love linking up with Stasha on Mondays and today is all about books.  As an English major - how can I possibly resist?  Pay no attention to the number order - it means nothing.  Every book listed, I've read several times, during different stages of my life and each time I read it, I discover something new. 

1.  A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith. I will never forget the year I read this book.  I was a junior in high school - wait?  Maybe it was sophomore year.  Whatever, it was in Ms.  Schwartz' class that I know for sure.  Even though the book is set in Brooklyn in the early 1900s and even though the Nolan's are Irish-American - I identified with Francie Nolan and her family in a way that I never connected with a character before.   

2. Kindred  by Octavia Butler. It was the first book I read in college.  I read it in less than 2 days.  Anyone I have recommended this book to, has come back and told me it was one of the best books they've ever read. 

3. When I was Puerto Rican by Esmeralda Santiago.  This book, this woman - changed my life.  I wrote a whole blog post about Esmeralda Santiago being my Latina Literary Idol. "...never had I read about a girl like me; with black hair and brown skin and brown eyes with a name too difficult to pronounce. For me, the name Esmeralda Santiago rolled off my tongue easily. And even though I didn’t speak Spanish, I understood every word that was sprinkled throughout. It was the first time a book had spoken to me, the first time I could truly identify with a narrator and I could so effortlessly hear the sound of her voice."  You can read the rest here.


Me with my Latina Literary Idol

4. New York: The Novel by Edward Rutherford.  If you're a historical fiction junkie - especially when it comes to New York history - like I am.  READ THIS BOOK NOW!  Warning: this book is bible thick - 880 pages.  But it spans from 1664 to 2001 - there's a lot of stuff going on.  But it is so worth it.  

5.  A Garden of Earthly Delights by Joyce Carol Oates.  I love anything Joyce Carol Oates writes.  Period.

Here are a list of my favorites by category -  

6.  Play: A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams.  Nothing moves me, the way Tennessee Williams moves me.  And Blanche DuBois is probably in my Top 10 of favorite literary characters.       

7.  Pulitzer Prize winning book.  The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz.  I've read everything Junot Diaz has ever written.  I went to a reading at the 92nd Street Y and he was fantastic, such an inspiration to me.  So down to earth, witty, charming.  I waited on line so that he could sign my book - I told him I was a writer too.  We were even FB friends for a while.  And then I deleted that account.  When I tried to friend him again, he didn't accept my request.  :( Junot - if you're reading this.  Friend me, K?!   

8. Guilty pleasure that I'm embarrassed to read in public:  The Twilight Series.  Please don't judge me.  I'm so embarrassed, I'm not even going to include a link.  (I would say the Hunger Game Series but I'm still working my way through the second book. But Katniss totally kicks ass - I not at all embarrassed by her.)   

9. Children's Book:  Oh, The Places You'll Go! by Dr. Seuss.  I read this book as a child and enjoyed it.  But I remember reading this book in the 8th month of my pregnancy.  I was setting up The Boy's room, arranging his books, folding his clothes.  And I sat in the rocker and read this book out loud.  I cried because I had so many dreams and I couldn't wait to hold and smell and kiss my baby boy.  After the autism diagnosis, this book took on a whole new meaning.  I make it a point to read this book to The Boy at least once a month.  I want to drill the message into his head.   

10. Autism Book: Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew by Ellen Notbohm.  It was one of the first books I read on autism after The Boy was diagnosed and it really gave me a different perspective. I think it's a book everyone should read. 

So there it is.  My Top 10 Favorite books.  What are your favorites?  And be sure to click on the pic below and see what everyone else loves.      

SOCS: I've Boarded the Train There's No Getting Off

One of my very favorite poets is Sylvia Plath and my favorite poem is Metaphors - the last line especially: boarded the train there's no getting off.  


The poem is about pregnancy - no, I'm not pregnant - and that last line reflects how I've felt ever since becoming a mother.  I've boarded the mommy train and there's no getting off.  There's not even a chance of it slowing down.  It just keeps going and going.  


I'm looking out the window and the world is whizzing by.  The Boy is 6 1/2 now - where did the time go?  Its going so quickly.  I'd like it to slow down just a little.  


It won't.  The train just goes faster and faster.  


The baby fat is gone, the fat bands around his wrists and ankles are gone.  His baby teeth are starting to fall out.  He looks less and less like a baby.  He's one of the big kids.  He wants to do things on his own.  We still walk hand in hand, but the day will come when he'll want to let go.  


He barely fits in my lap.  And so he sits beside me on the train.


One day, he'll be old enough to jump the train.  And board a train of his own.  Maybe our trains will go in the same direction.  Maybe it won't.      


Will it be a successful journey?  I have no idea - but so far, so good.
     

This is my (2nd) 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Go ahead, give it a whirl. Here are the rules…

• Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
• Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
• Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
• Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
• Link up your post HERE.
• Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

What I Would Do If I Had 24 Hours To Myself

It's Saturday morning and I'm drinking a cup of semi warm coffee, catching up on blog reading.  The Boy is in his room with the iPad.  


This morning I'm inspired by the Oxygen Mask Project and Alysia's Mary Poppins Game.  The game is easy.  Alysia writes:  

Let’s pretend that Mary Poppins floated down from the sky at 6am and said “I’m here to take care of your kids for 24 hours.  Go.  Do something for you.”

Just the thought of it, made me smile.  24 hours just for me?  How can I possibly resist the opportunity to let my imagination run incredibly wild.  I mean, I am so rarely alone.  The only time I'm truly alone is when I'm at work and I go to the bathroom.  That's pretty sad.


So if I had the next 24 all to myself, this is what I would do ~  


Before handing The Boy over to Mary Poppins (and it needs to be Julie Andrews Mary Poppins - hey, it's my fantasy and I want Julie), I'd ask her for a spoon full of sugar and special medicine.  Because last night, I turned the wrong way and seriously f**ked up my neck.  I pulled a muscle or something and haven't been able to sleep comfortably.  It hurts to move and I'm crabby.  I'm certain Mary Poppins has something in her big black bag for that.

After Mary's magic medicine and after she leaves with The Boy to do something cool like hop into a sidewalk picture or dance on roof tops, I go back to sleep. 


Because wouldn't it be lovely to go back to bed and wake up at my leisure on a Saturday morning?  


After I wake up - not too late, because I want to make the most of my 24 hours - I will take a long hot shower.  Not once will I have to pull the curtain back and call out to The Boy.  I can wash and condition my hair.  I can take my time to shave my legs - no razor cuts.  I can actually take time to do my hair instead of putting it up in sloppy ponytail.     


After my shower, I'll make a cup of coffee.  I'll finish my coffee while it's still warm.  At that point, I'll look around the apartment and may be tempted to clean something or start a load of laundry.  But the next 24 hours are just for me, so I'll say 'screw it.'


I'll head over to the neighborhood spa and get a massage.  Because I deserve a massage and some time to unwind.  After my massage, I'll get a manicure and a pedicure.  I can take my time, there's no need to rush.  

NOT me.

Feeling rejuvenated and fabulous, I take myself on a mini shopping spree and buy myself a pair of shoes.  Not a pair of sensible flats with the proper arch support.  No.  A pair of shoes that needs a reason to be worn - and we all know, the reasons are always few and far between.  Shoes impossible to run in.  Shoes that cannot be stepped on.  Something like...

these!  These will do just fine.  

       
Since I'm buying a new pair of shoes, I'll need a new dress (duh).  And in my 24 hour of alone time fantasy, I'm back to a size 6 - so finding something I love isn't an issue.


I'll come home and it's quiet.  I can sit on the sofa and eat a snack without a certain little boy snatching the food off my plate.  I can catch up on my shows like Glee or Revenge.  I can read a book - not an autism book but something absolutely meaningless, like that book every woman I know is talking about.  You know The Book I'm talking about?  Don't be coy.    

The Husband comes home and tells me he's made reservations to our favorite restaurant.  I waste no time getting ready.  It's been months since we had a romantic date night.

When we get to our favorite restaurant, we order a bottle of wine and I order the lobster macaroni and cheese - I am ecstatic to find out it's only 250 calories (again, this is my fantasy).  

 The view from our favorite restaurant*

The mac & cheese!! 

We order dessert.  Something rich, gooey and chocolatey.  (Sorry no pictures of dessert.)


We drive home...and well.  Need I get into those details?  Me thinks not.   


I am able to get ready for bed not really worrying if all 3 locks are locked.  But I will lock them anyway.  I will walk into The Boy's room, out of habit and wonder if he's having fun.  I will fall asleep in my own bed.  I will miss him but I will be sure to enjoy the last few hours of solitude.  And a guaranteed straight 7/5 hours of sleep.
     


If you had 24 hours all to yourself - what would you do? 

Great Expectations

A few weeks ago, the editors at www.SpecialNeeds.com asked me to write a guest post.  And when anyone asks me to write anything, it's a pretty big deal for me.  And this guest post was inspired by my fabulous FB AutismWonderland community.  


For those that know me IRL know that we've been going through some stuff.  It hasn't been easy.  I'd like it to be over.  I'd like some peace of mind.


Being a Special Needs Parent means you rely on a lot of people - strangers, really - to help you with your kid.   For the most part, you have strangers helping you make decisions about your child.  Because our children - special needs children - are not entitled to the best.  They are only entitled to the "appropriate."  


But "appropriate" means different things to different people.  And the Special Education in New York City is run like a business.  


And our children are viewed as expenses.  


And many of the teachers and special educators are required to pick a side.  


And like in any other business, in order to get ahead, you need to side with The Boss.  


And siding with The Boss, means you have to forget about the children and families who rely on you.  


The thing is - Special Needs Parents don't expect you to take sides.  We expect you to do the right thing.  If you're a Special Needs Professional you may think my guest post - Great Expectations - is too much to ask for.  But for us,  for Special Needs Parents, it's pretty basic.

10 Awesome Things About an Autism Mom

Last Monday was International Woman's Day.  And to honor that day, Stasha, decided that today's Monday Listicles would celebrate being a woman.  ""Anything Goes," she said.  And immediately, I knew I wanted to write about autism moms.  I am always so inspired by the women I meet and the stories I hear.  It was hard to narrow it down to 10 - there may be a part 2 somewhere in the future. But for now, here is my list:  

10 Awesome Things About Being an Autism Mom

1. We can go days, weeks, months, years without a full night's sleep.  We have mastered the art of sleeping with one eye open.  (maybe this isn't so awesome...)

2. We will forget many things - why we walked into the kitchen from the living room.  The name of that actor from that movie we love (wait...what was the name of the movie again?) Or what we wore the day before.  But we will never forget anything related to our kids and their services.  We can tell you what month they started.  We can recite passages of IEPs and evaluations from years past.  We can dictate passages from FAPE and IDEA and Sections of special education law. 

3. We have the ability to wait on hold for hours. 

4.  We have super hearing.  When out with our kids - we can distinguish the sound of their stim in a crowd.

5.  We have faith.  We don't have to be religious but we have a strong sense of faith in our kids.

6.  We have a broad imagination.  We are always thinking outside of the box in order to teach our kids.  

7. We wear many hats - wife, mother, teacher, chef, maid, boo boo kisser, friend, advocate, attorney, social worker.   

8. When it comes to our kids, we have extreme amounts of patience.  We can explain the same thing 20, 30, 40 times.

9. We appreciate the little things - like pointing a finger or hearing a WH question for the first time.  We take nothing for granted because we know how hard our kids work.

10. We are visionaries.  When it comes to our kids.  Where we see a void - we work to fill it.  We become the change we want to see in the world.   Like local NYC Mom Jackie of SNACK.  Or Patty Porch - who started a LEGO Social Club.  Or Margret - who inspired The Golden Hat Foundation.

Back to the Future...with Special Needs Ryan Gosling

What do you wish Special Needs Ryan Gosling could make for you?

  And just in case you have no idea what I'm referencing...click HERE. 


For more Special Needs Ryan Gosling laughs, snark & wishful thinking...check out Adventures in Extreme Parenthood

Ready to create your own?  Here's what to do:

• Make your Special Needs Ryan Gosling poster(s) then enter your name and blog address below and we can visit each other's blogs and have a good laugh.
• Be sure to check back often in the days to come because the list may grow as others see our posts and want to join in on the fun.  Also, if you share your blog post on Twitter please add the #SNryangosling hashtag so that it will streamline all the posts together.  
• Stay tuned next Wednesday for the new Ryan Gosling photo and link up with Sunday again next Friday!
• Dont forget to grab Sunday's button

Hey Girl. (Special Needs Ryan Gosling)

Have you been following Sunday Stillwell's Ryan Gosling meme?   It's HYSTERICAL!  And let's face it - we all need to just throw back our heads back and laugh.  Because if we can't laugh, we'll cry.

Thanks for making me laugh, Sunday :)

Anyway...Sunday is inviting others to join in on the fun and create their own Special Needs Ryan Gosling poster.  Here's mine -         

Melatonin (aka "bedtime candy") works wonders for The Boy!



Ready to create your own?  Here's what to do:

 

• Make your Special Needs Ryan Gosling poster(s) then enter your name and blog address below and we can visit each other's blogs and have a good laugh.
• Be sure to check back often in the days to come because the list may grow as others see our posts and want to join in on the fun.  Also, if you share your blog post on Twitter please add the #SNryangosling hashtag so that it will streamline all the posts together.  
• Stay tuned next Wednesday for the new Ryan Gosling photo and link up with Sunday again next Friday!
• Dont forget to grab Sunday's button

In Between Seasons

Last Sunday I had dinner with some of my favorite high school girl friends.  That's the great thing about FB - staying in touch with people that may have been lost forever.  


Anyway - one friend asked "So what are you up to  - you're a writer?"  And the question caught me off guard.  Honestly, I've never been asked that before.   My answer?  "Well, I'm a secretary but I play a writer on FB."  (I have a quirky sense of humor naturally but tend to make jokes when I'm uncomfortable/nervous/upset/pissed off...I make jokes a lot actually.)


But then 2 others interjected, insisting that I am in fact - a writer.   


What I really am is a woman in between seasons.  


At least once I week, I run Landslide by Fleetwood Mac on my ipod.  And I mean RUN IT - as in, play it on repeat through out my morning commute.  (If you don't know that song - get to know it.  It's amazing.)  But my favorite line is: Can I handle the seasons of my life?


I am like Alice - wondering, "Who in the world am I?" 
  
Somewhere between mother, student and wife; somewhere between secretary and writer - there's me.  Trying to figure it all out.  Trying to find my voice.  Still trying to figure out who I am and who I want to be.  Trying to break out of the box that I have put myself in.


Sometimes someone else needs to show you who are, before you truly see it for yourself.     

     

This is my (very 1st) 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

• Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
• Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
• Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
• Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
• Link up your post HERE.
• Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

10 Things I Would Rather Be Doing Than Cleaning The House

I know it's not Monday; it's Saturday, I'm sick and I can't sleep.  And since I'm useless on the sofa and I've been wanting to link up on Stasha's blog for the longest time.  Here it is:  

10 Things I Would Rather Be Doing Than Cleaning The House  Apartment 

10. Pay bills


9.  Pin new cleaning products on Pinterest  


8.  Watch Cars 2  


7.  Rewrite The Boy's IEP goals  


6.  Call my insurance company to follow up on a claim


5.  Fold laundry (while sitting on sofa watching TV)


4.  Watch HGTV (even though I don't have a home or a garden)


3.  Drinking a glass of wine, while eating some fabulous cheese while watching any Twilight movie. 


2. Work on my Jedi mind tricks (so that The Husband will clean) 


1. Excercise (or at least putting on my workout clothes and psyche myself into excericing but will most likely default to 5, 4 or 3.)

What would YOU rather do than clean? 

I Wish I Could...

There are a lot of things a gal like me could wish for. 


I wish I could have a million dollars - because um, , who wouldn't want a million dollars? 


I wish I could do something wild and crazy like jump out of an airplane but I'm a big ol chicken.


And I wish I could see ten years into the future. 


But mostly, I wish I could ask The Boy a question and have him answer back. 


I often feel that autism is like playing a game of 20 questions, except I'm playing alone.  I spend most of my day, trying to figure out what The Boy wants, means or needs.  I spend so much time trying to figure out what he's trying to say.  And at times, wondering if I got it right.

I know I should be counting my blessings that The Boy has language.  And I feel like it's selfish to wish for, want or expect more than what I have.  Because he can tell me when he's hungry, thirsty or sleepy.  The Boy can recite lines from movies and books.  He can point and tell me exactly what toy he wants when we're out shopping.    

But he can't answer a question - like what he had for lunch.  Or who he played with in school.  Or what was the best part of his day.  And I'd like to know.

(And with the 3 recent NYC public school sex scandals - I want need to be able to ask The Boy if he's been touched inappropriately.  And I need him to be able to answer correctly.  It's a discussion, I'll need to have with the home based therapists - I need The Boy to be able to understand good touching and bad touching.  But that's for a whole other post...)

Too often, I see parents engaged in back and forth conversation with their kids.  And I want that with mine.  

I would love nothing more than to come home from work, ask him about his day at school and have him answer me back.

The Boy's come such a long way since his diagnosis.  I am hopeful that one day it will happen.  I just wish it could happen sooner rather than later.  But like everything else in our journey, the things we want most happen in their own time.


What do you wish? 

Post inspired by:

Sh*t Autism Moms Might Say...(Special Saturday)

By now, you've had to have seen all of those "Sh*t _____ ____ say" videos.  If you haven't.  Where the hell have you been? 

I find some of them really freaking hilarious.  I could watch them over and over again.  Anyway...I've been thinking about every which way to make one.  But I wouldn't even know where to start.   So last week I saw this post at Love That Max and was thinking of writing my own.  And then I stopped by Aspie in the Family and read THIS post.  I knew, I had to write my own.  

So - here is my list of some of the Sh*t Autism Moms Might Say (or at the very least some of the Sh*t I Say regarding our life with autism) to their kid, their partner and anyone else:

Don't put that in your mouth!

Of course I'll read __________ again.  (It changes from week to week.)

GOOD JOB!

Aren't you sleepy?

Say 'hello'. 

Where are your pants?!

OMG - did you see what he just did?!

Did he poop?

He was up from 1 to 4 in the morning!

Did they write anything in the notebook?

I haven't slept.

He did it for the first time today!

He requires...

He hasn't really slept.  

It's appropriate.

No, no - I'll work around your schedule.

Autism isn't a disease. 

Uh, no...He's not like Rain Man. 

And now....one of my favorite "Sh*t _____ ____ Say" videos that's PC enough for hopefully everyone to enjoy!

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Special Saturday is a blog organization to raise awareness of children with special needs.  This week’s theme is on the things we say as special needs parents.

     

2 Words You'll Never Hear Me Say To The Boy

The 6 train travels from the top of The Bronx to the tip of the City, through posh and poor neighborhoods.  It's part of my daily commute to and from work.   Hidden behind dark sunglasses and head bopping to Jay Z, Alicia Keys or Nas; the 6 is where I sleep, write, drink coffee and people watch.  

Mostly people watch. I should have been a sociology major.  For those who've never experienced public transportation in New York City, think of it like every trashy reality show but confined in an underground moving space.  I like to watch all kinds of people, listen to what they're saying.  I am always inspired on the 6.  

Anyway...I often observe parents interacting with their children.  I'm not judging.  I'm observing.

And one thing I've observed is that some parents ignore their children.  Not all. Some.  And some parents tell their children to "be quiet" or "shut up." (as a kid, I was a little chatterbox and  was always told to "cállate."  Never mind what the nuns did to me at my catholic school - my desk was always in the corner and tape was put on my mouth.  Hhmmm maybe that's why I write?)

And that always kills me.  

I waited so long to hear The Boy speak.  And I know of so many parents who are still waiting.  Some parents wait a lifetime.  

And even though The Boy can talk.  It's so rare when he talks TO me.  It's so rare when he asks me a question.  And it's so rare that he is excited to share something with me that he can't "shut up" about it.

I remember those first few months before and after diagnosis, friends, family and strangers would say to me "Just you wait, once he starts talking you'll be begging him to shut up."

Well, he's been talking for some time now.  And I've yet to tell him to shut up.  (The hours between 1 and 4 am don't count - I'm asking him to stop talking and go to sleep.  There's a difference.  And even then I feel guilt ridden.)

When The Boy talks.  I stop and I listen.  I want him to know that I hear him.  And that I value what he has to say.

And I'll be honest, there are times when The Boy goes on about stuff and I have no clue what he's talking about.  Sometimes, I have to stop and really think.  But I stop, look and listen.  Always. 

As a parent I get it.  You're tired.  In the morning, if you have to take your kid to school on the train and then go to work - you're already tired by the time you've gotten on the platform.  At the end of the work day, you're thinking about dinner and laundry and bills and your kids homework.  You're exhausted.  I get it.
  

But when your kid is excited and talking to you about their day and you ignore them.  You know what your kid may feel?  They may feel that they are not worth listening to.  They may feel that whatever they have to say is not worth saying.

Let's say you're talking to your best friend and smack dab in the middle they say "Can you be quiet?  I'm tired."  Wouldn't you feel pretty crappy?  I would.  

Imagine how a child feels. When you constantly tell them to "be quiet" or "shut up" - they may just listen.  And you're missing out. 

That's why I'll never tell The Boy to "be quiet" or "shut up."  I don't want to miss out.  I am always listening.  I am always waiting to hear what The Boy will say next.