It's Day 5 of the NYC School Bus Strike. Seriously?! When will it end?

We're on Day 5 of the strike.

I have used my 4th vacation day.

Yesterday I spent the entire day at The Boy's school. In a storage room. You can check out the You Tube video HERE.

Today I commuted to The Boy's school using public transportation.

How did it go? See for yourself...

What Will I Do If There's a NYC School Bus Strike?

I've been trying not to think about. What we would do if there really is a school bus strike?


We live in The Bronx. The Boy's school is up in Westchester County - twenty miles away. I don't know how to drive. (I just got scolded for the billionth time "this is exactly the reason why you should know how to drive Babe.") And I work down in Manhattan.


Bus drivers and matrons are scheduled to strike starting Wednesday.


You may be wondering how New York City is preparing for a possible school bus strike?  
   






The strike will impact "152,000 students and their families." And a significant amount of these students have special needs.


And it makes me laugh every time every time I hear that the DOE plans on handing out metro cards. "Parents of children in grades K-2 can request an additional MetroCard to escort their child to school." 


So...the DOE thinks it's okay to put a 3rd grader (an 8-9 year old) on the train or bus unescorted by their parent? I wasn't allowed to take the train/bus by myself until I started the 9th grade.  The irony of this is - if I left an 8 year old home alone and the DOE or any one else found out about it, I may have children's services knocking at my door.


Either way, a metro card isn't really going to help me. 


The DOE will also offer reimbursement to parents driving their kids to school or taking a car service - after filling out a form, of course.


Many kids in the public school system are working class families, single parents, parents of with multiple children, families who are working to simply get by. Families who do not have the flexibility in their jobs to take time off or work from home. Families who do not have cars or have the room in their budget to pay for car service (especially if the strike lasts for more than a few days). And let's be for real, it's the DOE - it could take months for reimbursement. 


The Boy's been on a school bus since he was two years old. It isn't easy putting your kid on a school bus, sending them off with strangers hoping they will keep them safe. Especially when you have a child with special needs and they don't have the capacity to tell you about their day to day events. The bus drivers and matrons are absolutely critical to families like mine and they deserved to be treated as such. But the Department of Education and The Office of Pupil Transportation are two different entities who I wished spent more time working together. Because there's too much red tape involved and our kids are all tangled up in it.     
So what will we do if there really is a strike? Here are the options -  


Option #1: I'll take a vacation days, stay home with The Boy and try to keep him busy. 


Option #2: Take vacation days and take him up to school via public transportation (car service is not an option for me can't afford it - especially if this lasts for a few days). Public transportation requires a bus, the metro north train and a cab from the station to the school. It will take about 2.5 hours. Going back home or even to work would be a waste of time and money because The Boy will still need to get home. I may need to just set myself up in the parents lounge... 


Option #3: Go to work, keep him home with a babysitter - I'll have to pay extra for that too. 


Either way, The Boy will be missing out on something and his entire routine will be disrupted.
The whole thing is sort of freaking me out. And I'm really hoping that all can be resolved between now and Wednesday.  

I Don't Know How to Drive but Today I Wished I Did

This morning I schlepped all the way out to Brooklyn.  BROOKLYN.  Via public transportation since my driver The Husband was unavailable.   

For those of you not familiar with the MTA NYC Subway - here's a visual. 

Now had I been rolling solo, I could have read a book, listened to my iPod, maybe even write.  But I was with The Boy...so you all know how that goes.  Sure I kept him entertained with my iPhone but it was a lot of "Are we there yet?"  The first 10 times are cute but by the 35th time...no, not so much. 

 I totally blame this YouTube clip

Did I mention I had to make this trip in the rain?

I don't know how to drive*.  And I have no desire to learn.  I just know it's something I wouldn't be good at.  I compare driving to playing the piano.  Anyone can learn to play the piano but only a select few can play it well.  I know I would be a bad driver.  I'm too nervous, don't do well under pressure, have difficulty concentrating and get overwhelmed sitting in the passenger seat when there's a lot of traffic.  Truth be told, I don't want to be any one's designated driver.  I want someone to drive me home.  I don't get out much, so when I do - I want to have a grand old time.  

Today? I really wished I knew how to drive.

Because after I was done with our appointment, I had to get back on the bus and the train to come into work.

It was one the longest mornings of my life.  But it was worth it and I'd do it again.  (Except maybe next time, I'll plan ahead for someone to drive me.)           

*I also don't know how to ride a bike or swim.  The Husband says in case there is a zombie Apocalypse - I would be totally useless.  And I agree.      

Just Another Manic Month

I can't believe it's the last Friday in February.  This month has been a whirlwind - a month of ups and downs.  Rejoices and rejections.  There's been so much going on that I haven't had the energy to write or read.  So this is my month in Fragments:

Back in November my mother's father, sister and brother were hospitalized.  My aunt was out within a few days - she's a feisty old broad, that one.  My grandfather (who is 89) was out after a few days too but he's not doing so great.  He needs insulin shots twice a day and my mother is the one that gives it to him.  She prepares his breakfast, lunch and dinner too.   As for my uncle, he just got out of the hospital. He's home and my mother checks in on him too.  (My mother, grandfather and uncle all live in the same building.) 

And then my mom takes the train from Queens up to The Bronx 4 days a week to pick up The Boy from the bus.  (I know, my mom is a saint!)  Anyway - my mom is tired.  And she won't say it but I know all of this is taking a toll on her.  And I was trying to think of an alternative solution for after school childcare that will still allow The Boy to get his ABA therapy.  I'm VERY happy to have found one.  I asked one of The Boy's past teacher assistants if he'd be willing to pick up The Boy 2 days a week.  Not only did he agree to do it BUT he's super excited about seeing The Boy again.

*

This month The Boy had two evaluations: psychological and speech.  Which meant he had to miss 2 days of school.  Which also meant me rearranging my work schedule for a few days.  Which meant I had to take 2 buses to get to the evaluation place.  Sit 2 hours through the evaluation.  Answer the same questions I've been asked for the last three years.  Then take a bus to the train station.  Take the train into the City.  Drop The Boy off at the company back up day care (a major perk that I LOVE!) and then run up 9 city blocks and 2 avenues to my office.  Work for a few hours, then run back the 9 blocks and 2 avenues down to pick up The Boy from the daycare.  And then...luckily both days, The Husband picked us up in the City.

*

Earlier this month, I was invited to this amazing lunch hosted by the Ladies Home Journal.  I was pretty honored to be there - I was in the room with real writers, women that I had been reading for last the year.  As a secretary, I'm used to being seen and not heard.  I'm used to sitting in on meetings taking minutes, but never would I dare offer my opinion.  Most of the time, I'm ignored; the higher ups just don't talk to the secretary.  It's just the way the corporate world works.  So to be at this table among these inspiring powerful group of women, mothers, special needs writers/advocates - was sort of intimidating.  But it was one of the best experiences I've had (as a blog writer) and that post is coming soon.

* 

Speaking of amazing experiences...I've been invited to write guest posts on a few websites.  And it feels really good, to get that kind of response to my writing - it's validating.  But wouldn't you know - I've had an incredibly case of writer's block.  And I have these great opportunities and I'm struggling.  I mean, if I write something crappy here...that's one thing.  I can revise or delete.  But to write something crappy for another blog  - one that gets way more traffic than mine?  There's no going back.  It's quite a bit of pressure...

*

I stepped on the scale...as a result, I've been trying to exercise more.  That post is sitting in my drafts.   Have I lost any weight?  Nope - I've been losing & gaining the same damn 3 pounds.  But I have to get serious.                     

*

This time last year, I had no idea where The Boy was going to go to school.  Then a school accepted him.  Then we started...and it's been a roller coaster ride ever since.  I probably shouldn't even be writing about it anymore but screw it.  A school shouldn't retaliate if the truth is being told.  Anyway - everyone is giving me the run around and I'm dizzy.  One day The Boy isn't appropriate, the next day he is.  And once again, I have no idea where The Boy is going to be placed in September. 

*

And did I mention, I may be going to an Impartial Hearing in the next few weeks.  Did I mention, I'm going pro se (without an attorney).

*

And before you go...please check out my Q & A with Unknown Mami :) 



Play along! Don't know how?  

Check out Mrs. 4444

at Half Past Kissin Time 

for more Friday Fragments.

All You Need Is 10 Minutes

The Boy had me up at 3 am this morning.  I am not even half way through my day.  I.  Am. Tired.  There's another word that I can put between Am and Tired but I try not to be a potty mouth on my blog.  I was supposed to write my blog post on the train this morning.  But I was nestled in between two strangers.  And I'll admit - the extra body heat was just what I need to take a little train nap.  Complete with my head rolling, dreaming and maybe just maybe a little bit of drool.

So needless to say, not a blog post was written this morning.  But it was supposed to be on motivation.  I had a discussion with The Husband over the weekend and I had this whole post written in my mind.  Anyway, I'll just cut to the chase.  

Motivation.  If you want to do something.  You do it.  We all don't have 3 hours a day to do what we want or love to do.  I certainly do not.  But every day I give myself at least 10 minutes.  Don't believe me?  

This post took me 10 minutes.  

Have you taken 10 minutes for yourself today?  

 

We are what we repeatedly do. 

Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.

Aristotle



www.planetofsuccess.com



Back to Basics

Earlier this week, I felt as if I reached a crossroad.  As if I had to make a decision between this blog and The Boy.  I questioned the purpose of writing it at all.

      

Why must I choose?  When what I really need to do is choose wisely.  
One of the things my professor stated during the semester this all began was: 
Don't put it all on the blog.  (Save it for the book.)   

Oops...sort of forgot about that one.


Yesterday afternoon while on my way home from work I sat in front of an advertisement that said:

It's your story.  
Tell it. 
Write it. 
Explore it. 
Live it. 
Believe in it. 
Run with it. 
Experiment with it. 
Experience it. 
Continue it.

Who knew I would find inspiration on the Uptown 6? 

Anyway, it made me remember the reason why I started this blog.  I wanted to tell a story.  I wanted to inspire others just as The Boy inspired me.  To raise awareness. To inform and to educate.  And the reason I wanted to do this was because when it comes to mainstream media and autism - Latinos are so rarely featured.  Because our stories are not on the bookshelves. I started this blog because I wanted to erase the stigma of autism within the Latino community.

The Boy putting together a 60 piece puzzle - 2009

The purpose of this blog is The Boy.  He is my great success story.  And I'm going to continue it.        

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

~ Steve Jobs. 

Prepping for Kindergarten (The Letter)

It's the last weekend before kindergarten begins.  And nervous is a complete understatement.  I am scared. Worried.  Anxious.  Excited.  I've been feeling all of these things all summer long but I will be honest.  I haven't looked at his IEP since our last meeting in June.  After that meeting, I put it away and took a time out from special needs.  And since The Boy's last day of SEIT/related services, I haven't done anything truly constructive with him.  

No.  We have not colored.  

Nope.  We haven't practiced our cutting.

Did we play turn taking games?  Memory? Hungry Hungry Hippo? Don't break the ice?  
Uh uh, we haven't done that either.

The truth is - we needed a break.  We needed a summer to ourselves.  To just be. To take a quiet stroll in the neighborhood without asking him to label objects.  To go to the playground without having him work on social skills.  To sit and watch TV.  Sometimes we'll talk but silence is okay too.  To chill out on the sofa.  The Boy, reading his book.  Me reading mine.  I did not want to be ruled by routines, even though I know, I know routines are crucial.  I wanted him to do what he wanted to do, when he felt like doing it.  Not having to cut his activity short because a therapist was knocking on the door.  I didn't want to spend our summer thinking about goals and things The Boy should try and "catch up on."  

There is time for all of that.  WE have time.        

But this weekend, I have to get down to business.  This weekend, I have a project: to write an introductory letter to The Boy's teacher.

Over the weekend, I'll review The Boy's IEP.  I'll take into consideration the goals he's made progress with (because even though I'm not keeping track - I am always keeping track).  And with that in mind, I'll write my introduction letter to The Boy's new teacher.

My letter will include: 

• backstory (when he was diagnosed; previous therapies)
• the progress he's made over the last year
• his usual disposition
• his strengths
• his weaknesses
• activities he enjoys
• activities that are frustrating
• items he'll work for
• our concerns
• any self stimulating behaviors (what he does/when he does it/how we redirect him)
• what goals that mean the most for us
• phone numbers and the best way to reach me, The Husband or my mother in case of an emergency. 

I wrote a letter for last year's teacher and she said it was extremely helpful for her.  It also works to your benefit.  Teachers will immediately recognize that you are an involved parent and it starts off the year on a positive note.  It says you are willing to be a true partner in your child's education.  And I believe partnership is crucial for progress.

I am going into this school year with an open mind.  I spent all of last year worrying and crying and stressing over finding the appropriate placement.  And the truth is, I would be apprehensive over any school The Boy was going to - even the ones I believed were  "the ultimate dream school."  In the end, it really did all work out - not without heartache, obviously but The Boy is going to kindergarten!  And I don't want my fear or anxiety to overshadow my excitement.

And if this school is not the place for The Boy, I've made peace with that too.  And I know what will need to be done.  But I won't worry about that right now.

Right now, I have a letter to write.  Uniforms to wash.  A backpack to organize.  And a haircut appointment to be scheduled (not for me...for The Boy) - that should be fun... 

 

        

  

Hot and Bothered (The Mother of ALL Melt Downs)

Wednesday is the day we go to the Sensory Gym.  I leave work early, run to pick up The Boy and take the bus up to Riverdale.  (catch up on our Wednesday routine on AW 5/23/11 post - Guilt is Inevitable)

Anyway, today (Wednesday) has got to be the HOTTEST day yet.  And HUMID.  I mean - sticky, icky, sweaty, I want to be naked and run into an open fire hydrant hot and humid.

Today.  The MTA gods are against us.  We wait forever for our bus - we have to let six pass before the one we need comes.  We get off by Lehman College to transfer to the BX10 - but wait!  They changed the bus stop location due to construction.  So I run halfway down a street, dragging The Boy behind me.  

This time only one passes before the one we need arrives.  And even with these little hiccups, we are almost on schedule.  We still have time to sit for a quick slice of pizza before therapy.  But wait!

We're about seven stops away from the sensory gym and we get a call from the therapist; he has to cancel our session.  And we have to get off the bus and take another bus back home.  That's when it begins.  The Mother of ALL Melt Downs. 

meltdown on kingsbridge

The Boy starts to cry as soon as we get on the next bus going home.  I explain to him that there is a change in plans and that we have to go home.  But there is no consoling him.  People stare, shake their heads.  One man gets up from his seat and moves further back.  The Boy cries from 231st all the way to Kingsbridge (about 15 - 20 minutes).  When we get off (to transfer to another bus) I knew people were thinking "Thank God!" 

When the 2nd bus finally arrives (10 minutes later), The Boy is still crying.  Loudly.  And he's stimming (verbally).  "First home.  Then Donuts.  Then when Dad comes, in the car.  We go to Sensory Gym."  (we usually have pizza and donuts on Wednesdays) And repeating lines from the Little Critter book he loves I Was So Mad.  (He repeats lines from this book when he's mad or upset.)

I sat all the way in the back, not wanting to bother anyone.  But The Boy was so loud, everyone heard - even those in the front (of the double bus).  One girl kept looking back at me, shaking her head every single time.  The third time she does it, I prop up my sunglasses on my head and raise my arms as if to say, "What? Say something?"

And the whole time The Boy is crying, I'm trying to comfort him, console him.  Talking to him quietly in his ear, trying to explain that sometimes plans change.  But nothing matters.  Finally, I give up.  And just sit beside him, my face stoic, every so often I rub his back, his arms, trying to soothe him.  The Boy stops - eventually.  When he is ready (after a little over an hour of screaming and sobbing and stimming). 

Then after we get home and settle in.  After I cook and we eat.  And before I type up this post.  I cry.  And stop when I am ready.  (I'm much quicker - only 5 minutes.)  

So...if you're ever on the bus/train and you hear a kid screaming - DO NOT break your neck or shake your head in judgement of the parent or child. Unless of course, you are willing to get up and assist.  Because looking and judging (a) doesn't make the parent feel good and (b) isn't going to make the child stop.