But I won't. Right now, I just don't feel comfortable writing about anything - good or bad.
According to my blog stats my words have been viewed 40,862 times. By friends, friends of friends, therapists, family, even strangers. And lately, some of the people reading are over at The Boy's school. I didn't think much of it, until this morning. When I caught a glimpse of my AutismWonderland header tucked inside a folder labeled with The Boy's name. And the folder belonged to the woman I met with.
If it's one thing I've learned about writing is that it's subjective. And writing a blog, so personal, leaves my family vulnerable. Words can be easily misconstrued and opinions may be formed.
I really realized this when a statement was made about my kitchen. Huh? Rewind to this "Wordless Wednesday" - photos compliments of Flickr Creative Commons. (Because when it comes to taking pictures, I kind of suck.) Ergo, not my real kitchen. Not my real living room. Not my real desk. And definitely not my real laundry room - I don't even have a laundry room (but a gal can dream can't she). And let's be for real, those of you that really know me and know Carmen (aka my mother) know that she would not stand for that kind of mess.
I started this blog as part of a class project and during that semester, I was told 2 things:
- In order for a blog to be successful, you need to be consistent; and
- Latina writers have a harder time becoming published.
As for being published...well, that's kind of pushed to the back burner too. And honestly, our family journey with autism is no more special than the next families. Our struggles and our joys are no different. I may be a good writer, but there's a whole lot of other really good, great, fantastic writers out there.
So what is the point of this? And is it worth the risk?
It will take 2 seconds for this blog to be deleted forever. But just as one woman pressed print, how many others have done so? My words are out there. Whether they've helped or harmed, I can't take them back.
I want The Boy to really have a chance. And he's being offered one. I don't ever want my words, opinions, thoughts or emotions to get in the way of that.
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AutismWonderland - written by Lisa Quinones-Fontanez - is a personal blog chronicling a NYC family's journey with autism, while also sharing local resources for children/families with special needs.