Finding The Appropriate School When Your Kid Has Autism #T5Tue

It's TURNING 5 Tuesday - did you miss the first post? Catch up HERE. 

My search for the "appropriate" school placement began in the fall of 2010 - the same time I started this blog. The Boy was going to start kindergarten in September 2011 and I wanted to weigh all the options. I wanted time. 

If you have  child with special needs who will enter kindergarten in the fall of 2014 - NOW is the time to start the process. 

That's right - a whole year. Because it's a long process. So where do you start? I would suggest starting with schools. In New York City - there's a lot of school. Well, not a lot, but enough to keep you busy.

Because you'll need to tour. Gather paperwork (and possibly evidence). Apply. Wait. Cross your fingers, light a candle, say a prayer. And if your kid gets in...be prepared to prove to the Department of Education that it's the most appropriate.

Let me back up...because I can hear all the questions you're yelling at the computer. 

What schools should I tour?  

ALL of them. Seriously. If not all, then as many as you can. Public, private and even the ones you can't afford. Do your research. Ask questions. Browse school websites.

Where do I find special needs schools?

Believe it or not, there are a few ways to find schools that provide special needs services. I started with A Parent's Guide to Special Education in New York City - it really helped. I read through the book, took notes and did further research. 

Then, I attended a special needs school fair at the JCC in Manhattan. This year, it's being held on Thursday, October 24, 2013. You can register for the event - HERE. At the fair, I was able to schedule an appointment to tour, speak to school representatives and get applications. And it was a good way to weed out the schools I knew wouldn't work for The Boy. 

But the best way to find out about schools is to talk to other parents who've been there, done that. If you've never been to a support group - now would be the time to go. For Bronx parents - check out the Bronx Parents Autism Network. There's a meeting on October 8th. Don't be shy about asking parents where their children go to school. 

What about the local public school?

Visit your zone school, even if you know it's not appropriate for your child - just go to say that you did. Visit the DOE website. Make an appointment to tour local District 75 schools. And check out other special education programs like the ASD Nest Program or ASD Horizon program. Visit the NYC Resources page for more information - HERE.

What paperwork do I need? What do I include in the application? 

Most school applications require a recent evaluation (more on that next week) as well as past evaluations. Some applications will ask current teachers to fill out some sections. Applications can be 3 - 15 pages long (yes, I'm serious) and most have a fee (save your money) and a deadline of when to apply. Many schools will like the application before the Christmas break. 

I can feel your head spinning so I'll stop here. Remember the Turning 5 process is a lengthy process and I want to help. There will be more information regarding schools and the application process. So check back every Tuesday. 

And don't forget - there's a FREE Turning 5 Talk on 9/25 and 10/16 - click HERE for more details.    

I Cannot Lose Him

I remember The Boy clapping his hands on his first birthday.  


And I remember at that time, he had two words:  Mama and Oh Boy.  (Okay, that's three.)


By The Boy's second birthday, he couldn't clap anymore.  


Or point a finger.


Or look me in the eye.  


Or utter a word.  The three words he had.  He lost.  


Somewhere between that first year and second year, I lost him.  It's called Regression.


And we needed an ABA therapist in our home, 15 hours a week, to teach The Boy how to clap.  Point.  Wave.  


And we needed a Speech Pathologist to help The Boy to say Mama.


The Boy's come such a long long way.  He works so hard. 


Does he still have behaviors?  Yes.  


Will he always look me in the eye?  Nope.  


But he's an amazing kid.  Super smart.  Charismatic.  And funny.  


Not everyone sees what I see.  Not everyone believes, the way I believe.


I realized that this morning, when I toured a District 75 school that someone from the district recommended.  This person, has had limited interactions with The Boy.  I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this person has possibly skimmed The Boy's IEP.  I've given up the belief that anyone from the districts reads the entire IEP.


You may be asking - why I'm touring schools.  Well, after months of going back and forth with the principals, the teacher, the district - they've finally come clean.  The Boy is no longer appropriate for the school program that is so appropriate on paper.


And they are ready to toss him into the first District 75 school with an opening.  


But the people that really know The Boy?  The people that have worked with and truly care for The Boy know that District 75 is not the appropriate placement.  


And the other day, I came across this blog post written by a special needs attorney.  In the post, he writes, "...of the 15,000 children turning 5 who were recently referred to District 75, only 1,000 actually belonged there."  And where did the attorney get that idea from?  Gary Hecht, the superintendent of District 75.   (D'OH!)


Granted that post, was written two years ago.  But like I said.  I toured a District 75 school today.  And I'm going to say it again - THE BOY DOES NOT BELONG THERE!


Quite honestly, what I saw today was quite upsetting.  


I saw a boy strapped in a wooden "wheelchair" being pulled backwards, like he was luggage.      He was missing a shoe and sock. 


I heard paras yelling at children.   


And the man who gave me the tour talked in great detail about "taking down a child."  He also referred to a classroom as a "last stop" before institutionalization.  That classroom, was  third grade room.


I saw an OT/PT room filled with equipment that looked as if it hadn't been moved in months.  


And I saw children in wheelchairs getting their OT/PT services in the hallway because the OT/PT room was in the basement.  And there was no way for the children in wheelchairs to get down to there.


I saw the autistic classrooms, doing "touch your head" and "point to the letter ---."  And that's perfectly fine, if that's what a child needs.  


But that's not what The Boy needs.  


And I didn't see a single child in that school like The Boy.


If placed in that school, The Boy would never have a peer. The Boy would never be challenged.   The Boy will be set back three years.  The Boy will most likely regress.    


And I cannot lose him again.