Monday, January 23, 2012

the LITTLE things are a BIG deal #4

Post #4 for the LITTLE things are a BIG deal meme.  It's easy to link up and share your story. [copy/paste the button (above) in your post or sidebar.  Refer to my blog in your post & link to my current "the LITTLE things are a BIG deal" post. Link your post with Linky Tools. And if you link up, leave a comment.  Otherwise, it's like going to a party & not saying hi to the hostess.] For information click HERE.  You do not have to be a special needs parent to link up.  AutismWonderland is a community.  And I want to celebrate your every day wonderful moments with you. 

Last week I posted this picture of a little project The Husband and The Boy worked on. It was pretty cool.  The two of them sitting together at the table.  The Husband, prompting The Boy.  The Boy, really listening and following directions.  

And thinking about the two of them, sitting together reminds me how lucky I am to have married a man like The Husband.  Especially after I read this post by Autism Daddy.

Obviously, I'm not a man but I think it's harder for fathers to accept autism.  And I'm almost certain it's the reason why so many men choose to leave. 

I remember the day when The Boy was diagnosed.  How The Husband's hands shook.  How he cried in the car before driving us home.  How it took him a long long long time before he actually said the words, "My son is autistic."  

We never really talked about it then, but I knew how devastated he was.  I knew how important it was to him that The Boy play football and baseball and golf.   I knew The Husband couldn't wait to take The Boy to his first game at Yankee Stadium.  And when The Husband heard the words "your son has autism,"  I think he wondered how it would impact their relationship.

But it's been three years since The Boy's diagnosis.  And The Boy and The Husband have an amazing relationship.  And I think it's made The Husband realize, they don't need sports to bond. 

Two years ago, when The Husband came home with a Frog & Toad book, I didn't think The Boy would like it.  "Oh he will.  It was my favorite when I was a kid," The Husband told me.  

And he was right.  The Boy LOVES Frog & Toad.  Laughs out loud, when we read it. Truth be told, laughing out much louder when The Husband reads.

And then last week, as The Husband and The Boy worked on their little plane project.  It's not the first time they've done something like that.  They both enjoy it.  It's their time to bond as father and son. 

The Husband has found a way to connect - without sports.   They have found their "thing" and it's good for both of them.

This is the finished product.  It took less than an hour (not including the time needed for the paint to dry).  But it's a memory that will last our lifetime.  


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AutismWonderland - written by Lisa Quinones-Fontanez - is a personal blog chronicling a NYC family's journey with autism, while also sharing local resources for children/families with special needs.