Monday, January 16, 2012

the LITTLE things are a BIG deal #3


Post #3 for the LITTLE things are a BIG deal meme.  It's easy to link up and share your story. [copy/paste the button (above) in your post or sidebar.  Refer to my blog in your post & link to my current "the LITTLE things are a BIG deal" post. Link your post with Linky Tools.] For information click HERE.  You do not have to be a special needs parent to link up.  AutismWonderland is a community.  And I want to celebrate your every day wonderful moments with you.

Life as a full-time working mom/part-time grad student is pretty stressful.  There is always an appointment to make, a paper to write and laundry to fold.   And while The Husband and I have an 'equal' partnership, the majority of the housework falls on me.  When The Boy is sick, that's my responsibility too.  It's just the way that it is.  Not only for me, but for a lot of working mothers.

Don't get me wrong, The Husband does help.   I just do more.  And when I complain talk about it with my mother, she scoffs "Well, that's your job as The Wife."

And I guess there is a part of me that agrees with this because I do the food shopping, cleaning and cooking. I do the laundry sorting, washing, folding and putting away. 

And as exhausting as all this is, I don't mind it.  (Not really.)  It's all part of taking care of my family.  And because I love them, I want to do everything I can for them.  

But on days when I come home from work, tired and worn out from the commute and dinner is ready.  Or the dishes are washed.

All those Tuesday nights (for the last 3 years), when I walk out of class and The Husband is there, waiting to drive me home.  And The Boy is already bathed and homework completed.  

I make sure to say "Thank You."  

Thank you for making dinner.  

Thank you for washing the dishes. 

Thank you for picking me up.  
And The Husband will say, "Why are you thanking me?  It's no big deal." 

And then I have to explain it to him.  

It is no big deal to him. But it's a big deal to me.  

When The Husband washes the dishes, it's one less thing I need to do.  I have a little more time in the evening, I could read another story to The Boy.  I could take an extra 10 minutes to relax.  A sink without dishes makes my life just a little bit easier.  

A 1o minute car ride home from school, rather than taking a 45 minute bus/train ride - gets me home faster, calmer, safer.  And knowing that The Boy is ready for bed, I can come home after a long day and just relax.

Maybe The Husband thinks along the lines of my mother and me.  Maybe he assumes it's part of his job as The Husband.

But the truth is, we don't have to do anything.  These are the little things we choose to do for each other.      

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AutismWonderland - written by Lisa Quinones-Fontanez - is a personal blog chronicling a NYC family's journey with autism, while also sharing local resources for children/families with special needs.