When Scripting Goes Wrong

The Boy has words. Lots of words. I love hearing him speak because there was a time when he had no language. And we wondered if the words would ever come. 

However, much of his language is scripted or echolalic. Which basically means he repeats stuff. A lot. And I don't mind it so much because often he scripts appropriately. And he uses scripted language that he's memorized from books or TV because he doesn't have the ability to express his own spontaneous thoughts. 

For example, one day I took The Boy outside and it suddenly started to rain and he shrieked, "Oh no! The rain is going to ruin everything." And he said it with a little British accent because he's scripting from Charlie & Lola. I'm not going to lie...I think it's really freaking cute.  

But sometimes his scripting is not so cute. Especially when we're out in public or when he's in school. Because he happens to prefer the lines with attitude. So it's a challenge because - yes we want language but we want nice language.  

And so, this is my Top 10 List of Favorite Scripted Quotes from The Boy of 2012

What are you talking about? 

Are you sure it's legal? 

I'm going to touch the butt.

Do you think you have pantophobia?

Get your dopey feet out of my face.

I'm not going to do it. You do it.

Fish are Friends. Not Food. (The Boy eats calamari and shrimp. Best not tell him what it really is.)   

Shut up. (This one drives me insane...we are really working on it.)

I'm obnoxious. (except it sounds like, "I"m nauseaus")

Don't even think about it. 

And a super special thanks to Charlie Brown, The Berenstain Bears, Finding Nemo and every other character The Boy loves to script from - you've given my son the kind of language I never thought possible along with attitude and sometimes a side of silly.

Does your kid script? What are some of your favorite or not so favorite scripts?

Linking up with Mama Kat.  Share your top 10 favorite quotes from your kids in 2012. (inspired by The Momalog)

I Wish I Could...

There are a lot of things a gal like me could wish for. 


I wish I could have a million dollars - because um, , who wouldn't want a million dollars? 


I wish I could do something wild and crazy like jump out of an airplane but I'm a big ol chicken.


And I wish I could see ten years into the future. 


But mostly, I wish I could ask The Boy a question and have him answer back. 


I often feel that autism is like playing a game of 20 questions, except I'm playing alone.  I spend most of my day, trying to figure out what The Boy wants, means or needs.  I spend so much time trying to figure out what he's trying to say.  And at times, wondering if I got it right.

I know I should be counting my blessings that The Boy has language.  And I feel like it's selfish to wish for, want or expect more than what I have.  Because he can tell me when he's hungry, thirsty or sleepy.  The Boy can recite lines from movies and books.  He can point and tell me exactly what toy he wants when we're out shopping.    

But he can't answer a question - like what he had for lunch.  Or who he played with in school.  Or what was the best part of his day.  And I'd like to know.

(And with the 3 recent NYC public school sex scandals - I want need to be able to ask The Boy if he's been touched inappropriately.  And I need him to be able to answer correctly.  It's a discussion, I'll need to have with the home based therapists - I need The Boy to be able to understand good touching and bad touching.  But that's for a whole other post...)

Too often, I see parents engaged in back and forth conversation with their kids.  And I want that with mine.  

I would love nothing more than to come home from work, ask him about his day at school and have him answer me back.

The Boy's come such a long way since his diagnosis.  I am hopeful that one day it will happen.  I just wish it could happen sooner rather than later.  But like everything else in our journey, the things we want most happen in their own time.


What do you wish? 

Post inspired by:

My Year in Fragments

It's the last Friday of the year.  And it's hard to believe that I've managed to keep this blog going this long.  Especially because AutismWonderland started out as a class assignment.  By this time last year, I recieved my grade for the course.  And there was no need to write another blog post ever again.  But I kept going.  


It's been a great year.  So I just wanted to share some of my favorite posts of the year in fragments.  So if you're new here or if you've been reading for a while and haven't had a chance to read everything - I would love for you to check out some of the posts below.  Maybe share it with a friend.  And as always - comments are always nice too :)


January A Very Merry Unbirthday: The Boy is great one on one.  A room full of kids - whether he likes them or not, is extremely difficult for him.  His birthday should be enjoyable - not stressful and definitely not an ABA session in socialization.

We never did take him to where I thought about going.  Maybe this year...

February Dear Dr. Oz:  An open letter to Dr. Oz in response to his show on Autism.  He got it all wrong.  Not only was it incredibly disappointing but it also made me angry.  My son has not been “robbed” of an emotional foundation...My son is not “broken” so let’s not try to “fix” him.

March The R-Word: If you are looking for a New Year resolution, look no furthur.  Take the PLEDGE.  "Retard" is one word we can do without in 2012.

I can't tell you how often I hear the word - retard.  By friends, family and even - surprisingly - many therapists and special education teachers.  Thrown out casually and often without any real offense.  It's become part of every day vocabulary, a slang term.  I never say anything when I hear the word.  I don't correct people, even though it offends me.  Consider this a warning.  I'm tired of hearing it.

April We'll Pass on The Cure:  Diseases need to be cured.  Autism needs to be understood.  We need to understand that life doesn't always run on an exact timeline. Not every achievement or milestone needs to happen for every person at the same time.  We need to understand that different is not always a bad thing.  Different doesn't need to be feared or cured. 

May My Mother as Abuela:  My mother and The Boy have a very special relationship.  As a grandmother, my mother treats The Boy completely different than how she treated us.
I often come home and find my mother reading to my son, in a quiet patient voice; a voice that I don’t recall hearing as a child.  There is a small part of me that feels jealous, almost slighted because my mother never read to me. 

June Questions are Welcome. Staring is Not: The Boy is at the age where autism is becoming more and more obvious.  It's not like when he was 2 or 3 or even 4 when it was easily disguised.  He's 5 1/2 and he's different and there's no calling it anything else.  He is my son and he goes where we go.  We shouldn't have to hide him from society, because his behaviors make others uncomfortable.

I wrote this post for parents of  "typical" kids after I attended a BBQ. Instead of staring or looking away - please try to include us.  I have a great one if you are unsure of what to say.

July Three Words I Don't Often Hear: The Boy doesn't say "I love you" often, but when he does - I savor that moment.  So many parents take those three words for granted.  Some parents, wrapped up in their own chaotic day to day, ignore these declarations of love.  Me? I have to cherish each and every time because I'll never know when, where or why I'll hear them next.

August Just one of those days: One of my many posts on lack of sleep bursting into tears for no reason other than sheer exhaustion.  And in spite of my crappy day - waking up late, missing trains and getting caught in a torrential downpour with no umbrella or boots - I still manage to find joy in the little things.  

September Building a Dream School:  There is not a single school in The Bronx dedicated for children like The Boy.  It has become my dream to create a non-profit organization and build one.  That's the 2012 goal.   

October Walking Up The Down Escalator:  It's tough to see our kids struggling to achieve the things that come so naturally to other children.  And there are moments where I wonder - will he ever get it?  And then I have to remind myself that all kids go at a different pace.

November Making Peace with Autism: The moment a parent hears: Your child has autism.  Your world will change.  And you can either let the diagnosis destroy you or you can make peace with it.  Making peace with autism doesn't come easily, it's a process.  But once you make peace with autism and accept your child as autistic everything else kind of just falls into place.   


December El Que Diran: The El Que Diran is the unspoken belief in Latin-American culture that every person’s actions in society are subject to the scrutiny and criticism of every person they know.  When you have a child with an invisable disability the critcism goes to a whole other level.  And friends, family and strangers will all have a say about your child and your parenting technique (or lack thereof).  In the years, since The Boy's diagnosis, I've heard so much. I've learned to ignore most of it.


I'm linking up in 2 amazing places today.  Go on over and say Hey :)  

Play along! Don't know how?  

Check out Mrs. 4444

at Half Past Kissin Time 

for more Friday Fragments.

This year in blog posts…choose a favorite post from each month of 2011 and share. 

Love Accidentally

We met by chance.  I was a receptionist.  Joseph (The Husband), a Fed Ex courier.  Eleven years ago, he delivered a package.  He's "been delivering one ever since." The Husband loves to add that line.

What made it a chance encounter? 

(a) It wasn't his regular route.

(b) I had quit that job, started a new one, only to return two weeks after I quit.  I met Joseph one week after I returned.  

(c) I had just moved 10 minutes away from where he lived.  

Fast forward, three years after our chance encounter.  Joseph and I jet set off on our first vacation: Dominica - the "nature" island.  (It's truly a place untouched by commercialism.  We cannot wait to return with The Boy.)   

In order to get to Dominica, we had to board a small propeller plane in Puerto Rico.  Now, I hate flying in general.  But propeller planes? Scare. The. Crap. Out. Of. Me!  

And what was supposed to be a 30 minute plane ride, turned into 3 hours of flying around in tropical storms and turbulence.  The whole time I squeezed Joseph's hand and he reassured me.  Looking out the window, all I could see was fog.  No land.  No water.  And all I kept thinking about was Joseph and I plummeting to our demise.  (Did I mention, we watched Cast Away the week before our trip?)  We circled the airport a few times, the pilot attempted several landings but the turbulence was the worst I've ever experienced.  

At one point, I turned to Joseph and declared my undying love.  I may have even started to cry.  (I'm a tad dramatic and do not do well under pressure.) And then we started at talking about something else and I think he said something about us getting married while we were in Dominica.  I mean, it's all very foggy (no pun intended) - after all, I seriously thought the plane was going to crash into the ocean.  Come to think of it, maybe that's why I got the proposal...    

After a few more attempts to land on Dominica, the pilot flew back to Puerto Rico for the night.  The next day, we landed safely in Dominica.  That evening Joseph and I talked to the event planner at the hotel and by the end of our stay (6 days later), we were married.  No fuss, no muss - just us.  

One year after we were married on Dominica, we had a reception to celebrate with our family and friends.  

1 year after our Dominica wedding

And three years after we were married, The Boy was born.  And that was unplanned too.  

Some things are just better that way.        


The post was inspired by Mama Kat's Writing Prompt "Married? Tell us the story of how the question was popped."

Beware of El Cuco, Not Johnny Depp

When it comes to Halloween, I'm probably the least fun person in the world.  I don't care for dressing up or watching scary movies.  Sleepy Hollow is about as scary as I'll get and I really only watch that because my Johnny (swoon) is in it.  Come to think of it, the only other scary movie I'm up for watching is Nightmare on Elm Street - also featuring Johnny.  I'm beginning to see a pattern here...

So the point is - I am not one of those people who enjoys being scared poopless.  No I don't want to watch The Shining or Paranormal Activities or a Friday the 13th movie.  No I don't want to go into the haunted house at the amusement park. I am not that kind of gal.  I scare too easily - my imagination goes into overdrive.  The few times I've been forced to watch scary movies, they've kept me up all night (with all the lights on), for many nights following.  NOT FUN!  I dare not mention any of them, I'd like to get some sleep tonight.  

  

Fear of things that go bump in the night, often begins at childhood.  Growing up, the thing that scared me the most was El Cuco.  For those unfamiliar with El Cuco, it is the Latino equivalent to the Boogey Man.

I don't even know what El Cuco look likes.  But I imagined him as a crazy looking monster of a man, with rotting teeth, blood red eyes and filthy claw like hands.  El Cuco lurked in the dark, doing horrible things to children who disobeyed their elders. 

These horrible things were never quite explained but at 5 years old, I wasn't taking any chances. 



Not really El Cuco
but if I had to imagine him,
this is really close.
(painting by Francisco Goya)

While my mother threatened me with her chancla, my father threatened me with El Cuco. 

El Cuco was always going to get me.  It was my father who put this fear of El Cuco in my young mind. He would quickly flicker the lights on and off a few times, "El Cuco's going to get you!" he'd yell.  And I'd scream, begging forgiveness and promising to behave. 

I remember some nights falling asleep with my hand wrapped tightly around my bed rails, just in case El Cuco had plans of snatching me in my sleep.  Which in retrospect seems stupid because (a) if El Cuco really wanted me he would have cut off my hand and (b) El Cuco is not even real so why I am even analyzing this...

What was your  childhood fear?   

Post inspired by Mama Kat "Something that scared the Hell out of you when you were a child. (inspired by Mama Sick)"
   

22 Things I've Never Done Before

For those that know me personally, you know that I have a goofy sense of humor and that whenever possible I can laugh at pretty much anything - especially at my own expense.  So when I came across this prompt and saw how much fun other blog writers had with it, it inspired me to write one myself.

22 Things I've Never Done  

Nor do I (most likely) have any intention of doing.   

So here it is (in no particular order) 

 I am 36 years old.  

And I have never:

1. Watched a single episode of General Hospital, Days of Our Lives, Dallas, Dynasty or Falcon Crest.  Seriously.  I have no idea why - I am all about tacky, trashy, over the top TV.


2. Said the words "Let's get outta here."  (Did you know this phrase was "the most common scripted line in all Hollywood productions between the late 30s to the mid 70s?")  


3.  Danced on a table.  Though I'm sure I've been tipsy enough where I considered doing so.  Come to think of it, this, I might do - if ever given the opportunity. 


4.  Been double dogged dared to stick my tongue to a flagpole. 

5.  Eaten bulls testicles.  I'll leave that to Anthony Bourdain.


6.   Been on a cruise - the Bahamas booze cruise does not count and neither does the Circle Line.  A vacation cruise is one thing I have absolutely no desire to do - ever.  


7. Entered a mosh pit.  I get annoyed during #6 train rush hour.  How the hell can I survive a mosh pit?  And I don't want to get hurt.  And people who enter the pit scare me a little.


8.  Been assigned to a quest, journey, secret mission or covert operation.  (I believe there is still time for this.)


9. Returned worn underwear.  I worked retail for many many many years - including the lingerie department at A&S - you would be totally surprised and grossed out by the things women will return.


10. Put a message in a bottle and thrown it out to sea.

 

11. Stormed out of a room and yelled, "You haven't heard the last of me!"  (Though I think this EVERY SINGLE TIME walking out of a DOE meeting.)


12. Really told my parents just how much I appreciate them & love them.  (This is something I will have to do.)


13.  Made someone a mixed tape.  Yes,  a tape.  Not a CD, not a play list - an actual tape.  Can you even buy tapes anymore?


14.  Gone scuba diving.


15.  Jumped out of a plane.


16. Stalked my celebrity crush - that's you Mr. Johnny Depp.

17.  Walked down a yellow brick road. (Or fallen down a rabbit hole.) 


18. Dressed up as Princess Leia or Wonder Woman for Halloween.


19. Read any of my writing out loud.


20.  Traveled down Niagara Falls in a barrel.

21.  Belted out a song in public while listening to my iPod. The people who do this really fascinate me.  Especially when they sing horribly - I sort of admire that kind of courage.


22.  Watched Foot Loose.  The original with Kevin Bacon.  I'm actually ashamed of this one.

Have you done of any of these things? 

If so, then you 

(A) kick ass and 

(b) NEED to tell me ALL about it.  

Here. Now.  

And even if you haven't done any of these things,
please tell me so, that way I don't feel so alone.  
Thanks :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Post inspired by the prompt "list 22 things you've never done," from Mama's Losin' It as borrowed from The Pioneer Woman.