The Boy's 1st NY Road Runners Kids Race

I scanned the crowd of excited kids and anxious adults. There were too many to count. Too many to be out so early on a bitter cold Sunday morning. The wind whipped as we waited for the race to begin. Not only was it Norrin’s first New York Road Runners Kids Race, it was his first race with ‘typical’ kids.

There was music blaring. Kids laughing and chatting. Parents gossiping, running in place trying to keep warm. There were cops and volunteers with their bull horns, whistles and walkie talkies. And all I kept thinking was, could my son do this? What if Norrin ran away? What if he got lost in this crowd? I cursed myself for not thinking of bringing his ID necklace.

The kids were divided by age groups. Norrin was with the seven to nine year-olds and among them, he stood out. It is only among Norrin’s typical peers that autism is painfully obvious. The other kids are waiting with their friends, while my husband, Joseph, and I stand on either side Norrin – each of us holding a hand. Praising him for his “good waiting” and explaining the instructions of the race.

I turned to Joseph, “Maybe Norrin should run with the five to six year olds?”

Read the rest on Babble Kid by clicking HERE

Sesame Place Play Date

I grew up watching Sesame Street.  It's as much of my childhood as the home I lived in.


And that's what I love about motherhood.  Sharing special parts of my childhood with The Boy.  And seeing the joy on his face as he experiences it for the first time.  


As a kid, we never made it to Sesame Place.  So being able to take The Boy is special for me.  I know The Husband feels the same way.  We went last year for the first time and  walking along Sesame Street, was like having part of childhood come to life.  


So when I was invited to Sesame Place for a Blogger Play Date - I couldn't say no.  We were planning on going again this year anyway.


The Boy was just as excited.  Especially about the "water splashing fun" and the "rollee coaster."  I was pleased to hear that he remembered our trip and that he was looking forward to going again.


We got there right as the park was opening and immediately went to the Welcome Center where we requested a ride accessibility band (see below it's the orange band around his wrist).  This band allowed us to enter some rides without waiting on long lines.  We used the band at our discretion - we assessed each line and decided whether or not it was something The Boy could wait for.  The staff was incredibly accommodating to The Boy's needs.

Waiting for Grover's World Twirl  - See how I have hold to on tight?  
He had his cup all picked out.

    

Father & Son getting ready to ride the Vapor Trail

I don't really do roller coasters...I don't care if it's appropriate for kids 3 and older.  

I'm more of a Flyin Fish kind of gal

Last year we used the map to get around, this time we used the FREE Sesame Place App for iPhone to navigate the park.  If you have an iPhone - you have to download the app.  It just makes life easier.  Some of the features include: 

• View a full park map on your iPhone.
• True GPS navigation that provides a highlighted path to your destination
• Interactive park map with search that allows you to find the nearest restroom, dining location, ATM and more.

By 2pm The Boy was all played out and wanted to go.  He has no interest in meeting the characters and taking pictures.  I tried.  Trust me, I tried.  And once he rode a (dry) ride, he isn't interested riding it again.


Not when there's "water splashing fun" to be had.  But I didn't bring my swim suit (I'm not feeling swim suit ready) and while it was warm, it was still breezy.  And when it comes to the water rides - we really need 2 sets of hands to help with The Boy.  And since it was just me, The Husband and The Boy - it was kind of hard for The Husband to do on his own.  


Which means - we'll be heading back to Sesame Place before the summer's over.  And swim suit ready or not - I'll be participating in the water splashing fun.


I was kind of bummed that I missed the actual Blogger Play Date and the opportunity to meet other bloggers.  (I did get to see my friend Rachel White aka The Digital Latina  and meet her family.)  But as you know - when your kid is ready to go.  You go.  As quickly as you can. 

Needless to say, The Boy was knocked out the whole ride home

And even though he had a nice long nap, that evening he slept.  And GET THIS - he put on his own pajamas.  No prompting.  No asking.  ALL. ON. HIS. OWN.  He's never done that before.  


Yeah, he put his pajamas on backwards but who cares.  A Sesame Place influence? I'd like to think so.      
  

Disclaimer:  We were provided with complimentary admission to the park.  The opinions are my own and have not been influenced in any way.    

Party Like an ASD Rock Star

Ever wonder what goes on at 3:30 am?  

Legos...

Duh!  

Norrin using his pretend play skills to recreate a scene from Disney Pixar Cars: Mac, Wingo, DJ, Boost & Snot Rod.  (Yes, even sleep deprived & super crabby I needed to take a picture.) 

Wordless Wednesday

"G" is for Gumballs

The Boy is now fascinated with gumball machines and quarters

the LITTLE things are BIG deal #5

Post #5 for the LITTLE things are a BIG deal meme.  It's easy to link up and share your story. [copy/paste the button (above) in your post or sidebar.  Refer to my blog in your post & link to my current "the LITTLE things are a BIG deal" post. Link your post with Linky Tools. And if you link up, leave a comment.  Otherwise, it's like going to a party & not saying hi to the hostess.] For information click HERE.  You do not have to be a special needs parent to link up.  AutismWonderland is a community.  And I want to celebrate your every day wonderful moments with you. 

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It was hard to tell who was happier to see the Monster Truck Jam Show: the fathers or the sons?  Families of four, five and six giddy with excitement.  Handmade poster board signs clutched in little hands.  Boys in groups, jumping up and down - placing bets on who would win.   

And then there was us.  The Husband giddy with excitement.  Me, nervous and cursing myself for not remembering  headphones.  And The Boy wanting to see Monster Trucks but upon seeing the crowd asked to go home.

As a kid, we always went to shows, Broadway musicals, the Circus, Disney on Ice, Radio City - and once, the opera.  And I knew it would be something I would do when  I was mom.  But these were thoughts before I was mom.  Before I even knew what autism was.

The Monster Truck Jam was our 2nd show; I bought the tickets with reluctance.  After The Backyardigans Live fiasco of 2008,  I told myself we would not buy tickets for another show until The Boy asked to go.

Even the movies have been tough for us.  We've been to 4 - and it's been hit or miss.  I'll spare you the ugly.  If you've got a kid on the spectrum, you know how ugly it can get.  

But back to Monster Truck Jam. We had gift certificates and The Husband insisted The Boy would love it.  So I got tickets.  

After we bought a set of headphones, a toy monster truck and ice cream, we found our seats.  And as soon as we sat down... 

The Boy:  It's time to go.

The Husband: Don't you want to see the Monster Trucks?

The Boy: Yes.  No - no it's time to go home.  

Me:  You see, I told you.  He's not going to like it.

The Husband:  He'll be fine. 

I rolled my eyes at The Husband.  We sat The Boy in between us.  I took off his jacket.  Ripped the toy truck out of the box.  And gave him his ice cream.  That got us through the intros and the national anthem.   (Bad American that I am - I didn't make The Boy stand for the anthem.)

And then...the trucks came out.  And as soon as they started revving their engines, The Boy jumped with surprise and quickly stuck his fingers in his ears.  "It's time to go.  It's time to go."  And he started to get up.

I got him to sit back down.  And tried to put the headphones on his head.  He yanked them off.  I looked at The Husband.  "He wants to go."  

"He'll be fine," The Husband assured me.

And then.  The first monster truck rolled over the first set of cars.  

And The Boy...SMILED!  And started to laugh.  

Fingers in ears.  Ice cream moustache.  Big smile.

And for the next two hours, we sat and watched trucks crush cars and motorcycles jump up into the air.

Well...The Husband and The Boy watched.  I spent most of my time watching The Boy.  Because the smile on his face and the sparkle in his eye, was better than any show I've ever seen.

Note to self if I ever go again: bring earplugs and Advil.  I left with the worst migraine ever. 
  
For more pics from the Monster Truck Show - click HERE!         
         

the LITTLE things are a BIG deal #4

Post #4 for the LITTLE things are a BIG deal meme.  It's easy to link up and share your story. [copy/paste the button (above) in your post or sidebar.  Refer to my blog in your post & link to my current "the LITTLE things are a BIG deal" post. Link your post with Linky Tools. And if you link up, leave a comment.  Otherwise, it's like going to a party & not saying hi to the hostess.] For information click HERE.  You do not have to be a special needs parent to link up.  AutismWonderland is a community.  And I want to celebrate your every day wonderful moments with you. 

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Last week I posted this picture of a little project The Husband and The Boy worked on. It was pretty cool.  The two of them sitting together at the table.  The Husband, prompting The Boy.  The Boy, really listening and following directions.  

And thinking about the two of them, sitting together reminds me how lucky I am to have married a man like The Husband.  Especially after I read this post by Autism Daddy.

Obviously, I'm not a man but I think it's harder for fathers to accept autism.  And I'm almost certain it's the reason why so many men choose to leave. 


I remember the day when The Boy was diagnosed.  How The Husband's hands shook.  How he cried in the car before driving us home.  How it took him a long long long time before he actually said the words, "My son is autistic."  

We never really talked about it then, but I knew how devastated he was.  I knew how important it was to him that The Boy play football and baseball and golf.   I knew The Husband couldn't wait to take The Boy to his first game at Yankee Stadium.  And when The Husband heard the words "your son has autism,"  I think he wondered how it would impact their relationship.

But it's been three years since The Boy's diagnosis.  And The Boy and The Husband have an amazing relationship.  And I think it's made The Husband realize, they don't need sports to bond. 

Two years ago, when The Husband came home with a Frog & Toad book, I didn't think The Boy would like it.  "Oh he will.  It was my favorite when I was a kid," The Husband told me.  


And he was right.  The Boy LOVES Frog & Toad.  Laughs out loud, when we read it. Truth be told, laughing out much louder when The Husband reads.

And then last week, as The Husband and The Boy worked on their little plane project.  It's not the first time they've done something like that.  They both enjoy it.  It's their time to bond as father and son. 

The Husband has found a way to connect - without sports.   They have found their "thing" and it's good for both of them.

This is the finished product.  It took less than an hour (not including the time needed for the paint to dry).  But it's a memory that will last our lifetime.  

 

Autism doesn't mean a son needs his father less.  It means a son needs his father even more. 

a Father n Son project

the LITTLE things are a BIG deal #3

Post #3 for the LITTLE things are a BIG deal meme.  It's easy to link up and share your story. [copy/paste the button (above) in your post or sidebar.  Refer to my blog in your post & link to my current "the LITTLE things are a BIG deal" post. Link your post with Linky Tools.] For information click HERE.  You do not have to be a special needs parent to link up.  AutismWonderland is a community.  And I want to celebrate your every day wonderful moments with you.

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Life as a full-time working mom/part-time grad student is pretty stressful.  There is always an appointment to make, a paper to write and laundry to fold.   And while The Husband and I have an 'equal' partnership, the majority of the housework falls on me.  When The Boy is sick, that's my responsibility too.  It's just the way that it is.  Not only for me, but for a lot of working mothers.


Don't get me wrong, The Husband does help.   I just do more.  And when I complain talk about it with my mother, she scoffs "Well, that's your job as The Wife."


And I guess there is a part of me that agrees with this because I do the food shopping, cleaning and cooking. I do the laundry sorting, washing, folding and putting away. 


And as exhausting as all this is, I don't mind it.  (Not really.)  It's all part of taking care of my family.  And because I love them, I want to do everything I can for them.  


But on days when I come home from work, tired and worn out from the commute and dinner is ready.  Or the dishes are washed.


All those Tuesday nights (for the last 3 years), when I walk out of class and The Husband is there, waiting to drive me home.  And The Boy is already bathed and homework completed.  


I make sure to say "Thank You."  


Thank you for making dinner.  


Thank you for washing the dishes. 

Thank you for picking me up.  
  
And The Husband will say, "Why are you thanking me?  It's no big deal." 


And then I have to explain it to him.  


It is no big deal to him. But it's a big deal to me.  


When The Husband washes the dishes, it's one less thing I need to do.  I have a little more time in the evening, I could read another story to The Boy.  I could take an extra 10 minutes to relax.  A sink without dishes makes my life just a little bit easier.  


A 1o minute car ride home from school, rather than taking a 45 minute bus/train ride - gets me home faster, calmer, safer.  And knowing that The Boy is ready for bed, I can come home after a long day and just relax.


Maybe The Husband thinks along the lines of my mother and me.  Maybe he assumes it's part of his job as The Husband.


But the truth is, we don't have to do anything.  These are the little things we choose to do for each other.      
      

the LITTLE things are a BIG deal (#2)

Post #2 for the LITTLE things are a BIG deal meme.  It's easy to link up and share your story. [copy/paste the button (above) in your post or sidebar.  Refer to my blog in your post & link to my current "the LITTLE things are a BIG deal" post. Link your post with Linky Tools.] For information click HERE.  You do not have to be a special needs parent to link up.  AutismWonderland is a community.  And I want to celebrate your every day wonderful moments with you.

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I don't get much sleep.  The Boy wakes up most nights and either plays or decides he wants to sleep in our bed.

We have a queen size bed.  The Boy will be six in a few weeks.  He's a big kid and takes up a lot of space in our bed.  Even on the nights when The Husband falls asleep on the sofa (xbox controllers in hand), The Boy takes up most of the bed.  And I often wake up cramped in a corner only to look over and see The Boy - arms and legs sprawled.

I know, I know, I should put him back to his own bed when he wakes in the middle of the night.  But it's pointless arguing with a child who wants to be up when you want to sleep.  And when I try to get him to go back to his room we spend the night going back and forth between beds.  No one wins.  So why fight?  So I go against my own rule: never let your baby/child sleep in your bed.  


Thing is?  When The Boy was a baby he never slept in our bed.  Ever.  We put him to sleep in his crib from the first night we brought him home from the hospital.  He was good sleeper. Until he turned two years old.  We haven't really slept through the night since.


In the beginning I did try putting him back to his bed.  No words, no eye contact, just marching him back into his room.  But we'd spend hours going back and forth.  After a few weeks, I waved the white flag.


If (sort of) getting a good nights sleep meant having The Boy sleep in our bed, then so be it.  


I've been hoping The Boy would eventually grow out of it.

Very early Saturday morning, The Boy came into our bed.  He lay across the foot of the bed. But he's getting tall enough that his feet are starting to dangle.  He wedged his way between me and The Husband.  The Boy had a hard time, spreading out and getting comfortable. This went on for almost twenty minutes.

And then The Boy got up.  I heard him kind of sigh with annoyance.  And stomped into his room.

It was about 5 am and I thought he would play in his room.  But The Boy was too quiet.  And that's never really a good thing, unless I know for sure he's sleeping.  So I had no choice but to get up and see what he was up too.

The Boy was asleep in his own bed.

Was this the turning point?  Would The Boy now realize our bed wasn't big enough for three?  I kissed his forehead and whispered 'good job' for putting himself back to sleep.


And then last night/very early in the morning around 1 am, The Boy came crawling into our bed.  And he tossed and turned trying to get comfortable.  Once again, he stomped out of our room. 

I listened, wanting to make sure he went back into his room.  This time he headed into the kitchen.  I walked out and when I saw him, I cleared my throat.  I gave him The Look.  The Boy turned around, marched back to his room and into his bed.

I knew that I had to lay with him so that he could fall asleep.  And he did.

I woke up again at 3 am.  I hate sleeping in The Boy's bed.  It's not very comfortable.  If I had known at the time of purchase, I would be spending so much time in his bed, I would have splurged and gotten one of those memory foam mattresses.  Anyway...I realized The Boy was gone.

Where was he?

Back in our bed.

Oh well, The Boy is getting it (sort of).

That's what matters.

the LITTLE things are a BIG deal [#1]

I wanted to kick off my first blog post of 2012 with something special: my very own blog meme.  For more information click HERE.  Please note, you do not have to be a special needs parent to link up.  AutismWonderland is a community.  And I want to celebrate your every day wonderful moments with you.

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The Boy runs to me, iPad clutched in both hands.  He is smiling.  It's a dimpled smile, baby teeth showing.  And his eyes are bright and blinking rapidly with excitement. I know he's done something that he wants to show me.  

But still I remind him to walk.  And then I bring him back to where he started from, asking him to walk to me.  I know he wants to run.  But he walks, one foot in front of the other, across the room to where I am.  The way he is walking, I can tell he's telling himself to walk, walk, walk; walk, walk, walk.  The Boy is still smiling.  Looking down at the iPad and then back at me.  His arms and shoulders are wiggly.

"Look Mommy."  He shoves the iPad in my face, almost too close for me to see.  It's just a blur of colors.  And I have to hold it out.

The Boy stands in front of me.  Still smiling.  Body still twitching and wiggling.  He's waiting for me to say it. 

"Wow!  This is great!  Good Job."  I hold up my hand, and The Boy slaps me five.

What's the big deal about this picture?  Not only did The Boy color within the lines but he was proud to show me that he did a good job. 

The Boy has been doing a lot of coloring and drawing lately.  He wants to do it.  He will sit still and focus and really concentrate to stay in the lines.  Some days are harder than others.  But he's getting so much better.   Every day, with every he gets so much better.

And there was a time, not so long ago, when The Boy couldn't hold a crayon at all.  And I had to sit with him, my hand over his.  He used to cry and switch hands.  Because he lacked the hand strength to hold a crayon or pencil for more than a few minutes.  And when he learned to hold the crayon, he was looking everywhere else except the piece of paper.

Handwriting and coloring is still difficult for The Boy.  We still struggle through our homework.  But his interest is improving.  He asks to color and write and erase.  He wants to cut out pictures he's colored and loves to show off his work.   And he feels good when I praise him.  And when he feels good, I feel good. 

But the best thing and biggest deal about this picture is that it shows how hard he tries.