Racial Profiling and Autism: How Do We Keep Our Kids Safe From the George Zimmerman's of the World?

Last night as I listened to the Jury declare George Zimmerman not guilty of 2nd degree murder and manslaughter of young Trayvon Martin - I was heartbroken. As a parent, my heart ached for Tracy Martin and Sybrina Fulton. No parent should ever have to lose their child to such senseless violence.

I sat on my sofa with tears streaming down my face - shocked that a young black man's life was of such little value in the state of Florida. Disgusted by the Stand Your Ground law and how one could hide behind it.

We live in a country where citizens in most states have the right to bare arms, to stand their ground in the name of self-defense. We live in a country where Americans have easier access to guns than mental health.

And we live in New York City where Stop and Frisk is practiced.  

In May of 2012, I wrote why I fear for young men of color with autism living in urban communities. Zimmerman's not guilty verdict does absolutely nothing to quell my fear, it simply exacerbates it.

When The Boy was in kindergarten, his teachers made him walk down the halls with both hands in his pockets to keep him from flapping his hands. For years I've gone back and forth on whether or not The Boy should be free to flap. I've gotten to the point where I don't care if he flaps. I never asked him to have 'quiet hands.' Now I worry that his hand flapping will be the thing that makes him look suspicious. If he's walking down the street with his hands balled in his pockets or fidgeting with something - will it look like he's armed? Will his jerky awkward movements or high-pitched scripted speech deem him dangerous?

I don't know how the laws will change or how autism awareness will increase. I don't know what The Boy will look like or be like in ten years. I don't know if he will be able to walk down the street alone. I want him to be independent. But if he is, I will fear for his safety. I fear how he will be perceived.  I fear for any young man with autism...especially those living in a state like Florida.

Children with autism have such a hard time picking up on social cues. They have difficulty understanding body language. How do I teach a kid like mine to be street smart? To be cautious and careful. Who will look after him, when I am gone?  

A few weeks ago, I was talking to someone about The Boy and I mentioned he had autism. Immediately that person brought up Sandy Hook. "Didn't the killer have autism?" she asked. I couldn't even believe that the Sandy Hook tragedy was the connection this person made to autism. I was telling her about my seven-year old son and she associated him with a mass murderer. It was unsettling. It worries me. 

This is why I write. This is why more men and women of color raising children with autism need to come out. This is why autism awareness is critical. People need to understand what autism looks like - not only in children but in young adults. Police and first responders need to be trained to understand and recognize an individual with special needs.

Trayon Martin did not have autism. He was just a boy, walking down the street and targeted as a threat.

But there are many young men of color with autism, who walk down the streets in their neighborhoods. Will they be seen as a threat too? Will someone feel justified to gun them down in the street in the name of standing their ground? 

Eventually our young sons will grow into men. How can we keep them safe ?               

We are all heartbroken over Sandy Hook.

Last night I read The Boy a bedtime story. And about halfway through, tears started streaming down my face. I thought of all the parents in Newtown, Connecticut who couldn't read their baby a bedtime story.

"Why are you crying Mommy?" He asked. He was smiling and looking me in the eye.

He recognized I was upset and knew to ask the appropriate question. But I could not explain to him the depth of my grief. And on days of such tragedy, I am grateful for autism. The Boy does not understand the events of the day. He is blissfully unaware. 

I share my gratitude for autism on my Facebook page and one mother shared:

...we still need to prepare our children and ourselves. There is no social story out there to cover something like this...I just purchased a book writing my own social stories...sadly, I think my first story is going to be how our boys need to follow the teachers instructions during events like this for their safety.

The majority of the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting were children - between the ages of 5 and 10 years old. My heart aches for all the families. No parent should ever outlive their child. But to lose a child in such a horrific senseless act of violence... 

How do we prepare ourselves for that? Why should we, as autism parents, have to write a social story about this? 

We are grieving nation. Our hearts are broken. We have lost babies.

Mahatma Ghandi once said, "A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its [most vulnerable] members."

Who is more vulnerable than a child?

I think about The Boy. Who is especially vulnerable. Every morning I put him on the school bus. His school is out of the borough - about 25 miles away from home. And every day I hope, he has a good day. Now I hope he returns home.  
    
There are two conversations long overdue: Gun Control and Mental Health Care.

Because we have to protect our children. We need to protect them from gun violence. And when they are suffering from mental illness - they must have the necessary resources to help them.

  

Thanks Joe Scarborough, You Just Set Back The Autism Community About 60 Years

Last Friday morning I woke up and learned about the movie theatre massacre in Aurora.  

Twelve people were killed - including 6 year old, Veronica Moser-Sullivan.  More than 50 people were injured. Among the injured, a pregnant woman.

I've spent the last few days glued to the news, unable to stop watching the coverage.  And the stories are horrific and heartbreaking.

And yesterday, I read this article by Tommy Christopher.  As a parent of a young son with autism, it was devastating to read (and hear) Joe Scarborough's words: 

You have these people that are somewhere, I believe, probably on the autism scale, I don’t know if that’s the case here, but it happens more often than not, people that can walk around in society, that can function on college campuses, can even excel in college campuses, but are socially disconnected. I have a son who has Asperger’s who is loved by everyone in his family and who is wonderful, but it is for those that may not have a loving family and a support group and may be a bit further along on the autism spectrum, an extraordinarily frustrating, terrible challenge day in and day out. and so, I do think, again, I don’t know the specifics about this young man, but we see too many shooters in these type of tragedies bearing the same characteristics mentally.  (Joe Scarborough)

I wonder if he realizes how damaging his words are to the autism community?


He should know the stigma so many children and parents face.

Autism is word so many parents fear.  And Scarborough's statement?  It perpetuates that fear.  His statement is reminiscent of the 1950s when autism was labeled as 'childhood schizophrenia' and the 'Refrigerator Mother' theory.


The year is 2012 and with all of the information out there on autism, there are people who still have no idea what autism is or what it "looks" like.  Ignorant people who will take Joe Scarborough's statement and run with it.

That being said, there is a small part of me that understands where his statement comes from.  And we can all have our speculations.  However, I am not a doctor and neither is Joe Scarborough.  

So for Scarborough to make an "amateur diagnosis" based off of sound bites from people who knew James Holmes, is not only reckless but just as ignorant as 50 Cent's tweet.    

All we know at this point is that we can't understand it; we have no idea whether he had a history of psychiatric illness or had been exhibiting warning signs of a psychotic breakdown. And the amateur diagnoses we've been hearing are painfully misinformed... (Caroline Miller, Child Mind Institute)

Now is not the time to play guess the diagnosis.  This is the time to have a discussion that's long overdue.  The Aurora massacre is the kind of senseless tragedy that gives a nation pause.  It will dominate the the news for weeks. 

But will any real change come of this? 
 

While it was reported that the weapons were purchased legally, I have trouble understanding how a single individual - a civilian - is able to purchase more than 6,000 rounds of ammunition without raising an eyebrow?  How can a civilian be allowed to purchase tear gas?  Somehow, I don't believe this is what the forefathers meant by the right to bear arms.  

As one of my FB friends stated, "It's easier for a person to get a gun in this country, than mental health services."

That's exactly the point I wish Joe Scarborough would have focused on. 


UPDATE:   Since I posted, Joe Scarborough released a statement clarifying his remarks regarding Holmes being on the "autism scale."  

...I suggested that the Aurora tragedy should make Americans focus more on mental health in this country. I also stated that my own experiences raising a son with Aspergers made me keenly aware of how important strong support systems are to those who might otherwise be isolated.

The growing Autism epidemic is a tremendous burden for children, parents and loved ones to endure. My call for increased funding and awareness for Autism and other mental health conditions was meant to support the efforts of those who work every day to improve the lives of Americans impacted. Those suggesting that I was linking all violent behavior to Autism missed my larger point and overlooked the fact that I have a wonderful, loving son with Aspergers. Perhaps I could have made my point more eloquently. (Joe Scarborough)

Hmmmm not really the kind of statement I think the autism community was looking for.   But just don't take my word for it, check out what this guy has to say.