A Simple Act of Kindness Can Go a Long Way #26ActsOfKindness

I remember after September 11th how fragile New Yorkers were. When I returned to work, strangers said "good morning" and held the elevator door open.  

It's been more than a week since the Sandy Hook tragedy. And we are once again a nation in mourning. Our hearts heavy, are eyes watery and our minds still in disbelief. And in these times of unimaginable sorrow, we are reminded how precious life is and of how much we take for granted. 

Tis the season of goodwill toward men (women and children). And to honor the 26 lives lost, people everywhere are participating in random acts of kindness.

I try to be a kind person. I try to be considerate of others. I give up my seat on the train for pregnant women, parents holding babies and the elderly or disabled. I hold doors open for strangers. I say bless you when a stranger next to me sneezes, offer them a tissue if I have one. I smile and say 'good morning' to people I don't even know - because even a smile can make a difference in someone's day. I let people go ahead of me at the checkout line.

It's days before Christmas. And I haven't purchased a single gift for anyone other than The Boy. There just hasn't been any time to do so. And it's hard for me to buy gifts for those that mean the most because my gratitude is so great, it surpasses my limited budget.

I remember my mother saying to me once. "It doesn't matter what I give at Christmas, I give all year long." As a child I didn't understand what that meant. Now I do. My mother is the kind of person who gives all year round. She gives her time so generously and expects absolutely nothing in return. She gives of herself quietly, wanting no recognition, praise or even gratitude.I admire her most for that.

My mother never wants a gift for anything. But the other day, I called her up and thanked her. I really thanked for all of the help she has given me over the last few years. I told her much I appreciated everything she does for me. And I told her how grateful I was for everything. I think my words of appreciation were better than any gift.

But I also greatly appreciate the kindness of strangers. Having a son with autism - it's come to be something I have had to depend on. Random acts of kindness mean so much to me. And I try to pay it forward whenever I can.

I love the idea of Random Acts of Kindness. But the idea of posting about my acts of kindness and what I'm doing seems artificial for me. It's like how I feel about charity. When I give to something, I don't want to be recognized for it. I do it because I want to, not for any accolades.

I want to go into 2013 being a kinder person. But I don't need to talk about my kind acts, I just want to do them.  

I hope you do too.

We are all heartbroken over Sandy Hook.

Last night I read The Boy a bedtime story. And about halfway through, tears started streaming down my face. I thought of all the parents in Newtown, Connecticut who couldn't read their baby a bedtime story.

"Why are you crying Mommy?" He asked. He was smiling and looking me in the eye.

He recognized I was upset and knew to ask the appropriate question. But I could not explain to him the depth of my grief. And on days of such tragedy, I am grateful for autism. The Boy does not understand the events of the day. He is blissfully unaware. 

I share my gratitude for autism on my Facebook page and one mother shared:

...we still need to prepare our children and ourselves. There is no social story out there to cover something like this...I just purchased a book writing my own social stories...sadly, I think my first story is going to be how our boys need to follow the teachers instructions during events like this for their safety.

The majority of the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting were children - between the ages of 5 and 10 years old. My heart aches for all the families. No parent should ever outlive their child. But to lose a child in such a horrific senseless act of violence... 

How do we prepare ourselves for that? Why should we, as autism parents, have to write a social story about this? 

We are grieving nation. Our hearts are broken. We have lost babies.

Mahatma Ghandi once said, "A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its [most vulnerable] members."

Who is more vulnerable than a child?

I think about The Boy. Who is especially vulnerable. Every morning I put him on the school bus. His school is out of the borough - about 25 miles away from home. And every day I hope, he has a good day. Now I hope he returns home.  
    
There are two conversations long overdue: Gun Control and Mental Health Care.

Because we have to protect our children. We need to protect them from gun violence. And when they are suffering from mental illness - they must have the necessary resources to help them.