Thursday, November 17, 2011

Movies that make me cry the ugly cry

So last Wednesday I asked "Can You Name That Movie?" and posted 4 pictures from films that have both inspired me and turned me into a sobbing hysterical snot sniffling mess.  

Now I'm ready to tell you what films and why.

A Streetcar Named Desire - If you've never read or seen Streetcar - you should.  I've read the play several times, seen the movie hundreds and saw it when it came to Broadway.  I could say so much on this movie but I don't want this to turn into a literary critique.  It's the one scene and one line I want to focus on: "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers."


So many special needs parents depend on "the kindness of strangers." The bus drivers and matrons, the school security guards and social workers, receptionists, aides, teachers, therapists, nurses, doctors - are just a few of the strangers, parents and children encounter.  Parents of special needs children depend on the kindness and humanity of these professionals.  I know I depend on them.  The Boy is not the kind of child who can tell me when something is wrong, I need to trust these strangers; trust that they will fill in the gaps and keep me in the loop. 


I get that for many it's just a job.  But it has to be thought of as so much more.  I've encountered my fair share of employees who are quick to tell you what their job description is.  But some jobs need that little extra step.  When those steps are taken, it's appreciated.        


Terms of Endearment - No matter how many times, I see this movie, this scene makes me cry the ugliest of the ugly cry.  It reminds me so much of my relationship with my mother - except, I wasn't an only child and we didn't have Renoir's hanging on the walls and my mother did not do the do with an astronaut.   

Anyway...in this scene Aurora Greenway yells, "I don't understand why she has to have this pain. All she has to do is hold out until ten, and IT'S PAST TEN! My daughter is in pain, can't you understand that! GIVE MY DAUGHTER THE SHOT!"  I can't handle it.  I cry.  And it's messy and it's ugly.  

Not that The Boy is in pain but sometimes I sit in IEP meetings and I just want to scream,  "JUST GIVE MY KID THE SERVICES!"  And the fact that I am STILL waiting for The Boy to get the OT services mandated on his IEP, the fact that last week, in a meeting I was promised an RSA letter to start services and the fact that I have sent 3 emails, left 2 voicemails and actually spoke to a human being and I'm still waiting for that damn RSA letter - I am 60 seconds away from rolling into some one's office and pulling an Aurora.  Seriously.    Again...going back to the whole "kindness of strangers" thing.  


Mask (based on a true story) - For those that know me personally, know that I obsess over 4 women: Cher, Madonna, Barbara and Joan (Crawford - google her if you must).
  
So back to Cher.  I haven't thought about Mask in a long time and then for some reason this line just popped into my head - "First you told me he was gonna be retarded, then you told me he was gonna be blind AND deaf. If I'd dug his grave every time one of you geniuses told me he was gonna die, I'd be eating fuckin' chop suey in China by now!"  

I admire Cher's character - Rusty Dennis.  I understand her - even though our circumstances are extremely different.   This line is powerful.  It's about the faith that only a mother can have.  In spite of what doctors tell her, she has faith in her child.  Hope is the best kind of medicine/therapy.  And for many us, it keeps us going.       

(I chose this picture because I think The Husband can totally rock this look. He has Sam Elliott hair!)      

Forrest Gump - There are so many quotable lines from this movie.  But there is one that I especially love.  "Remember what I told you, Forrest. You're no different than anybody else is. Did you hear what I said, Forrest? You're the same as everybody else. You are no different.

The Boy may see the world differently and learn differently but essentially he is just like any other 5 year old boy.  The Boy likes Sponge Bob, Cars and Star Wars.  The Boy laughs and cries and feels like any other kid. 

And The Boy's potential is like any other kid - unlimited.  



What movie/movie character do you identify with? 
What movie(s) make you cry the ugly cry?
   

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AutismWonderland - written by Lisa Quinones-Fontanez - is a personal blog chronicling a NYC family's journey with autism, while also sharing local resources for children/families with special needs.