|"I'm late. I'm late. For a very important date. |
No time to say Hello. Goodbye. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late."
~ The White Rabbit
I call this blog AutismWonderland because most days I feel like Alice and The Boy is The White Rabbit that I'm constantly chasing.
But I think this is how I must really look to the outside world: hands on head, brows furrowed, eyes closed in concentration, constantly checking the time and frantically running. Always running.
There is always a meeting to prepare for, an IEP to review, a therapist to call, a therapist to see, a train or bus to wait for, a question to ask, an appointment to schedule, a new therapy to research.
And now, that The Boy is 5, I have to start all over again. Silly Rabbit that I am, I thought I had this all figured out. But that's a whole other blog post...
And while at work there's the document to revise, the daunting stack of papers to file, the conference call to schedule, the meeting to plan, the expense report to calculate, the bosses to appease.
And it's Tuesday night, my school night. Did I read the handouts, bring my notebook, or complete my short story for submission? Nope...I actually forgot about all of these things. (shrugging shoulders) Guess no class for me tonight.
There is still the supermarket to get to, bills to pay, dinner to make, dishes to wash, The Boy to bathe, the bedtime story to read, all before its time to tuck The Boy into bed and kiss him good night. There's still the laundry to wash, fold and put away, the apartment to clean and wait - did I lock the front door? Because we have forgotten to lock it, so some nights we triple check.
I feel like I'm late for most things, as if there is always a countdown to something. Like there is something terribly important I can't remember. Like there really is no time to say hello or goodbye. I'm always trying to catch my breath, constantly scrolling down my mental to do list.