3 Years Already?

Three years ago, I hit publish on this post. I threw together created this blog on a whim as part of a graduate school class assignment. There was no real thought process behind it. I didn't think about creating a brand or starting a business. I didn't know about SEO or HTML (confession: I still really don't), I had a Twitter account that I never used because I thought Tweeting was stupid (I know, I know...) and I didn't even know that blogging was a real thing. 

Last week, I attended the LATISM conference (in my hometown of NYC) and was recognized - for the 2nd year in a row - as a Top Bloguera. Three years ago, I had know idea that there was this whole world of Latina bloggers waiting to welcome me and accept me as one of their own.  

When I think about where I was then and where I am now...DAMN! I've come a long way. In three years I went from wanting to be a writer, to being a writer. A real writer. I graduated with a Masters of Fine Arts degree and used this blog as my thesis. And I believe that one day, it will be published.

There are so many people in my life who don't get what I do. And there are some people who sort of smirk and roll their eyes when I tell them I write a blog. 

But in these last three years, I don't think I've ever worked as hard. Blogging is hard work. And it's the most rewarding work I've ever done.

Three years ago, I started this blog because I was in the midst of a crisis - I didn't know it then. (That's a whole other blog post...coming soon.) I had fallen down this rabbit-hole and was trying to claw my way out. The more I write, the more years go by with The Boy and the more I learn about autism, I feel less and less like Alice.

Thank you all so much for your support, your words and your advice. I couldn't have gotten this far in my journey without you. 

***

Learn More About Us:

• Love Accidentally - The Story of How The Husband and I Met and Got Married
• Why I Call Him 'The Boy'
• A Walk in My Shoes
• He Failed Kindergarten and I'm Okay With It
• Letting Go of Mainstream Dreams
• I Do Not Speak Spanish and Apparently That Makes Me an Embarrassment to My Culture
• Never Give Up on a Dream 
• Do I Have a Right To Blog About My Special Needs Kid

Lisa Trivia: If you follow me on Twitter my handle is @LaliQuin. I created it before the blog. I tried changing it but AutismWonderland is 1 letter too long and I'm too lazy to start over or think of another handle. So why LaliQuin? Many of close friends call me Lili or Lali and Quin is the first 4 letters of my maiden name. Hence LaliQuin

10 Things I've Learned About Blogging In The 2 Years I've Been Blogging

Today is my Blog Birthday! I'm 2 years old. This last year especially has been insane and looking back, I'm incredibly grateful for...everything.   

I've also learned a lot in these last two years and I needed to remind myself with this list:  

10. Don't share your blog with your school district and then trash talk about how your kid's school is failing to provide a FAPE. Because they will read it.  And they won't like it.  (I know...seems like a no brainer. But um, I learned the hard way.)

9. Be okay with random people knowing personal sh*t about you. And wanting to talk about it. Even if you think "I just want to write to get it out...there's no need to address it after." 

8. Blogging is hard work.  Seriously. And takes a lot of time. At times, an embarrassingly amount of time. And often without a big financial pay off.

7. Be 100% certain about a post before you hit the publish button. Once you publish something - it's out there. There is no going back to delete. By the time, you second guess yourself and try to hit delete - someone has seen it or taken a screen shot. Someone may have printed it out or cut/copy and pasted into an email or word document. When in doubt about a post - wait until you are absolutely certain you want those words out there. (see #10 & 9 if you're not sure what I mean.)

6. Don't quit your day job thinking blogging is the road to riches and free vacations. (see #8)

5. It's okay to say NO. Just because someone emails you saying they have this amazing product or book or website, you are not obligated to write about what they want you to write about. 

4. Don't take it personal.  There will be times when no one comments, it's okay. There will be times when people attack you.  My wise creative writing professor (Terrence Cheng) once said, "If you expect to be told what a great writer you are, each and every single you write something - go show it to your mother." The same can be said for blogging. If you are only interested in praise - write for your mother, your husband, your BFF or anyone else who loves you enough to lie to your face or blow smoke up your butt.   

3. Bloggers are people too. I've met some really amazing people through blogging. I'd even go as so far to say, I've made some genuine friends - especially in the autism mom blogger community. And then I've met some not so nice bloggers. And this may totally surprise you especially if you've follow their blogs and seem like the nicest person on line. But mostly, I am incredibly grateful for all the wonderful women and men I've met through blogging. Like I said, I've made some real friends - there are too many to name but they will know who they are - thank you for your friendship!

2. Content & Consistency matter.  If you want people to read your blog, your content needs to be good. And if you want them to return, you need to be consistent. Especially in the beginning.

1. Always remember the reason why you started to blog. You may want to write it down and post it everywhere you write because there will be days when you will wonder: I don't know if I want to do this. Does my writing even matter? or Why didn't this post get any comments?

There have been so many times over this last year I've wondered if my blog matters, if it's 'successful.' This usually occurs when I see little to no comments on something that I've written, when something I write doesn't get shared, tweeted or retweeted, when I visit other blogs and see that their posts have like 30, 40, 50 comments and I'm hoping for just 1. And every so often, I'll read a comment or get an email or even a text from another autism mom I know with a simple, "thank you for writing what I cannot say," and then I remember why I started to blog. If anything I've written has helped just one person, then that is my measure of success.

Thank you again for stopping by, for reading my random thoughts, for crying with me, for sharing my joys, for cheering me on, for offering me advice and for being a part of our journey. 

Did you know I'm nominated as a Yahoo Women Who Shine? 

Read why I'm nominated & vote click  HERE.

I Can't Go Back To Yesterday

"I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then."  

~ Lewis Carroll

Caterpillar: Who... are... you? 
Alice: I'm afraid I can't explain myself, you see, because I'm not myself, you know. 
Caterpillar: I do not know.
Alice: I can't put it any more clearly, sir, because it isn't clear to me. 


Earlier this month, I celebrated my 36th birthday and today is my 1 year blogoversary.  And so I'm taking today to indulge in self-reflection.  (Flashbacks via blog post.)


1989/1990
It's New Year's Eve and I'm home with my family.  We're watching Dick Clark.  I am 14 years old.  I am still under my mother's thumb.  I have not kissed a boy.  I weigh less than 115 lbs and an "A" cup.  I wear glasses, am certain the acne across my forehead is a secret message in braille and growing out a bad haircut - the trifecta of teen angst.    


There is talk about the year 2000.  And I quickly do the math in my head.  In the year 2000, I will turn 25 years old.  And in my young mind, 25 seems old.  I imagine what I would look like.  What my life would be like.  I have an vivid imagination so I conjure up this fabulous life.  My acne has cleared.  I have long perfectly straight hair.  I am married to Johnny Depp.    


1999/2000
It's New Year's Eve and I'm at Sound Factory.  Working as the cashier. (It's one of my jobs.) But I don't mind, I'm working with my best friend.  And we sip free cheap champagne.    Throughout the night and into the early hours of the morning, clubgoers shove their sweaty crumpled dollar bills under the bullet proof window.  


I have boyshort hair, jet black and slicked back.  Lacquer red glasses. Twenty five is 9 months away.  And I haven't met Johnny Depp.  I'm a receptionist, a part-time college student and on the weekends I work at various clubs throughout the city, as cashier as coatcheck girl. The weekends I'm not working.  I am out all night.  I spend my days sleeping.  


It is not the life I imagined at 14.    


2005/2006
It's New Years Eve at 10 pm, I'm fighting my sleep.  I am 30 years old and almost 3 years married.  Working 1 job and still a part-time college student.  I am 33 weeks pregnant.  I know I'm having a boy and we have a name picked out.  His crib is set up, his clothes washed, folded and waiting for him.  We are waiting for him. 


I have read books on motherhood, swaddling and sleep.  I researched bottles and pampers.  I am nervous and excited.  Scared.  Swollen.  I am uncertain of what kind of mother I will be.  Will I be good at?  Will I like it?  Will I change?  

It is still not the life I imagined at 14.  Or the life I imagined at 25.       

2011 (Today)
I have spent many years wondering who I am.  Wandering aimlessly from place to place.  Imagining the kind of life I would have, of the kind of person I would become.  


I never imagined pursuing a masters degree.  I never imagined being a writer.  Or a mother to child with autism.  I never imagined being a voice for someone else.  I never imagined wanting to make a difference.  Or having a cause to believe in and fight for.  


I am all of those things.      


This is one instance where I don't feel like Alice.  I know exactly who I am.  And I know the kind of person I want to be.  I don't have to spend another New Year's wondering or waiting for something to happen.   


It is not the life I ever imagined for myself.  It's so much more.  


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Post inspired by a Kick in the Blog prompt, Who are You?

It's My One Year Blogoversary!

Okay, okay it's really tomorrow. But I'm excited.  And I'm proud of the things I've accomplished in this last year.    

I started AutismWonderland as an assignment for a critical practice graduate course: Writing as a Cultural Act.  We were encouraged to lauch our own platforms for getting our work to readers.    

And when I started this blog last year, I had no idea people would actually read it.  I mean, other than the other students assigned to the class and the professor, David Groff.  As the only mother of a child with autism in the class, my blog was pretty much ignored by my peers.  Writing about life with a kid on the spectrum just isn't sexy or cutting edge to hipster writers.  (Who knew?)

It was rough in the beginning (heck it still is).  Writing.  Rewriting.  Posting.  Then waiting for comments.  Blog writers love comments, the way an actor needs applause.        

Quite honestly, I'm a little surprised that I've kept it up.  


Then toward the end of the semester, David invited Betsy Lerner to speak.  Betsy Lerner is a literary agent, an author, a poet and blog writer.  She is also hilarious!  (If you're an aspiring writer - you have to read her book, Forest for the Trees.)   

Anyway at the end of her talk, David introduced me to Betsy.  And I was telling her about my blog, my point of view and what I wanted to be when I grew up.  She gave me some advice and then she said, "You may have heard of one of my clients, Temple Grandin."  Yes - the Temple Grandin!  At this point, I may have gushed a little bit.  No need to go into those details...     

But my biggest takeaway from hearing Betsy speak was her suggestion on blog writing.  She stressed consistency and commitment,  you have to do it every day, for at least a year.

And that's what I've been doing.

Writing this blog has been liberating, motivating, inspiring and so much cheaper than therapy.  I've recieved so many words of encouragement, advice and comfort.  I've connected with so many other blog writers and parents and special education teachers.   I love hearing from parents of older kids.  Parents who leave comments like, "The Boy reminds me of my son when he was that age."  And then they tell me about their son and all the amazing progress they've made.  It's rewarding, when a parent emails me to ask for advice, to share their experience or to thank me for something I've written or shared.  I feel like my writing has a purpose, it's not just some indulgence.            

I remember when The Boy was first diagnosed, I really had no one to talk to about what I was feeling.  It was as if The Husband and I were alone, stranded in this world with no one to point us in the right direction.  And I know many parents feel that way, when they hear the words "your child has autism" for the very first time.

I think it's one of the reasons why I continue to write this blog.  Because I want to share what works for us and I want to hear what works for you.  I love that I've created this network of parents, writers and educators.  It's made our journey a little less lonely.


So...thank you :)