That's the first line of Norma Klein's book "The Queen of the What Ifs." I read this book when I was in the 6th or 7th grade and for some reason, it has stayed with me.
And last night at around midnight - I thought of this book. Well, not so much the book but the title. Another night of insomnia and playing the "What If" game. It's not fun. Because if I'm going to be plagued with "what if" questions, I would prefer to be sitting on the steps of my summer home, barefoot, skinny and young enough to be wearing short shorts and just running my fingers through me hair watching the sun set.
Instead, it's 2 am and I'm in my jammies, sitting on my sofa in my 2 bedroom apartment, with my lap top reading blog posts and updating my Facebook status because I have a million questions keeping me up.
What if The Boy hates his new school?
What if the new teacher(s) can't manage The Boy's behavior?
What if they ask him to leave?
What if the 'typical' kids make fun of him?
What if he doesn't have the proper amount of support?
What if I'm pushing him too much?
What if he's not ready to navigate a community school?
and the biggest what if of all -
What if I'm making the wrong decision?
I would have thought that a public school acceptance for The Boy would have provided me with a good night's sleep. I haven't had one, in well...about a year. I'm tired. I guess I'll sleep by September or October.